“It’s my fault, baby,” I said, trying to figure out how to explain it all to her. “I never told him about you. He didn’t know to come see you.”
She blinked, my words sinking in slowly.
“But, why?” she finally asked.
“I was wrong, Maddy, I —,” I began, trying not to stutter over my words, trying to frantically search my brain for the right words.
“He didn’t even know I existed?” she asked, her voice rising.
“No, baby,” I replied, shame filling my heart. “I”m so sorry.” I’d betrayed her. I’d betrayed Jesse. Tears fell down my face and I hung my head in my hands.
I didn’t see her stand up. I didn’t see her walk towards the sliding glass door.
I was too busy feeling sorry for myself like a fool.
I finally raised my head, and saw I was alone in the room with Snowflake, the light from the television flickering over the two of us.
“Maddy!” I called, springing to my feet. I ran out into the backyard, and saw a glimpse of her hair as she jumped the fence. “Maddy! No! Wait!!”
41
JESSE
Eddie and I heard Maisey’s scream and we ran down the hall together.
“She’s gone,” Maisey cried. “She ran away again!”
“Oh, dear!” Eddie exclaimed. “It’s already dark out, she shouldn’t be out there alone! What did you say to her, Maisey?”
“I told her the truth,” Maisey shook her head.
“I’ll find her,” I said, turning and running back through the house towards the front door.
“Wait! Jesse!” I turned around as Maisey called my name. “I’ll go, you can’t run with your knee..”
“Fuck my knee, I’m fine,” I growled. She shoved the inhaler in my hand and when I saw the look in her eyes, it wrecked me completely. I kissed her quickly and then ran out the door as fast as I could. I spotted Maddy down the block and broke into a full run.
My knee throbbed in pain, but I ignored it, willing my body to perform to its full capacity. I’d always been able to flip the switch between man and athlete, to turn into the elite running machine that had served me so well time and time again. The pain fell away, the limp disappeared, and within seconds, I was flying down the middle of the street like it was the turf, ignoring every obstacle in my way and keeping my eye focused on my goal. I knew I was doing damage to my own body. I’d felt this way before, like when I played three games last season with a torn rotator cuff. The team doctor fought me tooth and nail, but I wasn’t about to let him stop me.
Even if it hurt…
People talked about Jesse ‘Colorado’ being untouchable. They talked about how I’d shrug off linebackers and never miss a damn game. They didn’t see me later that night when I nursed the bruises and sprains. I never let them see the pain…
Maddy was fast, and my heart soared with pride at that fact. Maybe she was more like me than Maisey thought. At this pace, she had to be feeling the burn in her legs and the fire in her chest, but she kept going. Before I could take a minute to smile, Nina’s face flashed in my head, and the severity of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to get to Maddy before her body gave out.
I could save her… I could offer her a happy life in a strong, healthy body. I couldn’t bear to lose her before I’d even had a chance to get to know her. I couldn’t bear to lose her like I’d lost Nina.
She disappeared around a corner at the end of the street and I picked up my pace, my feet flying beneath my legs, pounding the pavement as fast as I could. I rounded the corner, and she was nowhere in sight.
“Shit!” I cursed, my eyes frantically searching for her. I kept running, peeking in every yard and around every car that I passed. I couldn’t lose her. Maisey would never forgive me. I had to find her, I had no other choice.
“Maddy!” I called, my voice echoing in the darkness. I’d lost sight of her, but my instincts told me she was close. She couldn’t have gotten far, so I kept running, hoping like hell I’d catch sight of her.
And then I did.
A flash of her blonde curls caught my eye up ahead, and I bounded up the street like the fucking Bionic Man, determined not to let her get away again, but she rounded another corner and I lost sight of her once more. My knee throbbed hotly as it took most of the impact, but it held up, and I kept running.
My heart jumped into my throat when I saw Maddy up ahead - she was on her knees, slumped over and gasping for breath. I reached her within seconds and pushed her inhaler towards her. She grabbed it, inhaled deeply, then broke out into a ragged cough. Tears streamed down her face, and she gasped for air.