It was the easy way out. But it was also the cowardly way out, too. I knew this. I felt terrible about it, and I promised myself that I would call him. I could go see him and try to make amends… But I couldn’t bring myself to face him in the daylight. The words that sounded so good in my head turned into an unacceptable disaster in the sunlight.
So, I’d done nothing. I’d turned my complete attention to taking care of Maddy and left dealing with Jesse on the back burner.
It was easier this way. And I desperately needed things to be easy.
Halfway through the movie, Maddy fell asleep on the couch, her blonde curls splayed over the couch cushion and her bare feet in my lap. I couldn’t help but smile when I looked at her. She slept like an angel, full of peace and beauty.
Gingerly, I removed her feet and stood up from the couch. She stirred lightly, but kept sleeping, so I left her there. I padded to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine, hoping it would do something to help the knots in my shoulders. I’d been so on edge, so tense this last week that my back had turned into one big stress knot.
I tried to remember the last time I’d felt relaxed, but then I realized that it was as I’d laid in Jesse’s arms that night after our date. It seemed so far away now. And yet, I knew that if I picked up the phone, he’d be right there on the other end. I wondered if he was thinking about me. Or, since he’d stopped calling me, maybe he’d finally given up on me.
I knew he wasn’t one for relationship drama, so if I’d pushed him away completely it wouldn’t be a total surprise. And maybe it was all for the best.
I had to put what was best for Maddy first. She was my priority.
Not my peace, not my pleasure, not any irrational fantasies I had of having a relationship with Jesse.
The doorbell rang, startling me so bad that I almost dropped my glass.
It must be Eddie, I thought. He’d probably left something behind when he’d dropped by to check on Maddie earlier. It would be nice to chat with him and have some much needed adult time.
Gleefully, I bounded to the front door and flung it open with a smile.
“Jesse!”
My mouth flew open and I stood there dumbfounded in front of him.
“Hello, Maisey,” he nodded. He looked very serious, but oh so fucking handsome. A black button down shirt was tucked into a pair of black silk trousers that outlined the perfect treasure that I knew was hiding behind the thin cloth. The sun was barely beginning to set behind him, leaving the sky streaked with a soft purple light that washed over his face.
“What - what are you doing here?” I asked. My heart was pounding in my chest, a mixture of anxiety and excitement racing through my veins.
“I was hoping we could talk,” he said. “It’s important… Can I come in?”
“Come in? Um…I - well, sure. Would you like a glass of wine? We could sit on the front porch.” My thoughts jumped to Maddy on the couch in the living room, and I wanted to keep them away from each other.
“That’s fine,” he said, nodding solemnly.
“Stay here,” I swallowed hard, ran to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle and another glass and walked out onto the front porch. I was being incredibly rude not inviting him in. “Sorry, I’d invite you in, but my house is a mess right now.”
“That’s okay,” he said.
“I wasn’t expecting company,” I shrugged, sitting next to him on the porch swing. I’d left the front door open slightly so I could hear Maddy if she needed me. I turned to him slowly. “How’s the knee?”
“It’s better. The Amazonian woman they sent in your place does a helluva job.”
“Oh, no. Did they send Helga?” I asked.
“Yep. I call her Helga the Hun. She’s awful. You were much, much better.”
“I’m so sorry, Jesse. My daughter got sick, and I need to spend some time with her.”
“Are you sure that’s what it is?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we did have a fight,” he said. “And you’ve been avoiding me…”
“Maybe it’s best if we don’t work together. I didn’t mean for things to get so complicated.”
“Complicated,” he said, biting his lip. “That’s one way of putting it.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say next. I stared over at him, drinking in his masculinity, my body responding to him, just as it always did - with intense desire and yearning to get as close to him as I could.
But his energy was different today. He wasn’t flirting, he wasn’t tempting me with his salacious winking and touching. In fact, he hadn’t touched me at all. Or kissed me, which was his usual way of greeting me.