But I knew it wouldn’t work. I couldn’t keep fighting all of Maddy’s battles for her, as much as I wanted to. I’d been doing it for so long that it was second nature.
I let her go, handed her lunch bag to her and kissed the top of her head. Her smooth blonde curls were the exact opposite of my unruly black ones, and they smelled like heaven. I inhaled deeply before turning her around and gently prodding her towards the door.
“Don’t miss the bus, babe,” I said. “Everything will be okay, honey, I promise. Now, do you have your inhaler?”
She checked her backpack and nodded before heading out the door. I watched her walk slowly down our winding sidewalk, her head hung low with dread. I hated the fact that I had to send her off unprotected into the cold, cruel society that created the Sara’s of the world, but it’s just the two of us. I have no choice if I want to keep food on the table and her inhaler filled with albuterol and pay for whatever the treatment of the month was.
“I love you, honey!” I called after her. She turned back and flashed me a hesitant, crooked smile.
My heart melted, just like it always did.
“Love you, too, Mama!” she waved and I stood at the door watching as she walked down the street and boarded the waiting school bus. I kept watching until it rounded the corner, taking away the only thing in this world that kept me going.
I’d come a long way since leaving Ault behind. So much had happened in ten years, and yet sometimes it felt like nothing had happened at all. Clyde’s old truck had miraculously carried me all the way to Ft. Collins that sunny day, and I hopped on a train to Denver as soon as I got there, leaving Clyde’s old Ford waiting just where I’d said it would be.
I always wondered if he ever picked it up. I never wondered how he was doing, or if he missed me, hell, I knew the answers to those questions. But the truck had always left me guessing. I guess I’ll never know now, though. Going back to Ault and finding the answers to my many unanswered questions had never been high on my priority list. Someday, maybe, I always told myself, it might be nice to take a drive through the old town, see what’s changed… And see what hasn’t.
I was pretty sure it was just a whole lot of the same shit. A whole lot of nothing. The complete opposite of rapidly growing Denver. Denver had changed so much in the last ten years, I barely recognized the place sometimes.
But it had been good to me. I’d made it my home, and it had welcomed me with open arms when I needed it the most. I was terrified when I’d arrived, all alone, with nothing but a few hundred dollars and that tiny pink backpack to my name. There’d been long lonely days where I questioned everything I’d done, when I wondered if I was ever going to find stability, but it had all worked out.
With no time to waste, I was lucky and persistent enough to find a waitressing job on the third day I was here, which was good because Denver was a lot more expensive than I had expected, and my stash of money was quickly dwindling after paying for a cheap motel every night. When the nice old lady that gave me a job working at her greasy spoon said I could stay in the studio apartment above it until I made enough to start paying rent, I could have kissed her.
It was the first genuinely kind thing anyone had ever done for me in my life.
Daisy, the owner, became a kind of surrogate mother to me, and once I’d had Maddy, she took her in, too. I’d never been able to repay her for everything she taught me, and everything she did for me. I worked at that diner for over three years, even when I could have left to find a better paying job… I thought I had everything figured out when I left Ault behind in that rearview mirror, but looking back now, it hurt to think how naive I was. Daisy saved my life.
But that’s every eighteen year old, right? It's not like I had anyone in my life to teach me any better. I was going on what I’d learned fending for myself while Clyde was passed out.
And now, I was back to fending for myself again… Daisy died a year ago, and Maddy and I missed her like crazy, especially when I realized she’d left me one final gift.
When I was nineteen, I enrolled in some basic classes at the community college, and then later transferred to the University of Colorado and received my Human Physiology degree. There were some days I thought I’d never be able to finish, and it took me six months longer than it normally would have because I was juggling parenting Maddy and working at the diner. Three more years in the physical therapy program followed and I was on my way toward being a Doctor of Physical Therapy.
And Daisy’s will left me enough money to pay for the whole thing… She’d wiped my student loans clean and given me a leg up I never could have repaid her for.