But I couldn’t help but wonder why this unfamiliar feeling was sticking around so long. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted to make her smile, make her cry out my name again.
To say I was torn between my old ways of dealing with women that was so second nature to me and these feelings I was having about Maisey would be an understatement.
I was overwhelmed by all of this. So much so, that even in my confusion, I was still sitting here on the couch with another huge erection.
I watched the sun set over the Rockies in the distance, my mind filled with visions of her eyes, her lips, her curves, her touch…and I realized something.
I’d never felt this way about anyone.
Suddenly, my no-more-than-two-times rule seemed like the dumbest rule in the world.
Because I wanted to make love to Maisey a million times more. And then probably a million more.
I felt sick when I realized what was happening.
Was this love? Or just nostalgic infatuation? Either way, she was under my skin, and I had no fucking clue what to do now, because this was so far out of my usual method of operating that I felt like a fish out of water.
A very horny, very confused fish.
22
MAISEY
I paid the cab driver and stood in front of Jesse’s building, staring up at the penthouse. My hands were sweaty and my stomach was fluttering like crazy. The morning sunshine was bright and warm, but I was still standing there with my nipples hard as rocks beneath my scrubs. Obviously, it wasn’t from the cold.
My body was pulsing with a confused mixture of desire and dread.
I had to go in. I had to do my job. I couldn’t just walk away.
But I also had to remember that I was there to do a job, not just live out my fantasies with Jesse.
I took a deep breath and steeled myself before walking through the revolving doors. Today was a new day. I’d faltered yesterday, but that doesn’t mean I had to make the same mistake twice.
I said hello to the ever looming Grady and knocked on Jesse’s door.
The smile that was plastered to his face told me he wasn’t going to make this easy on me. The kiss he plastered on my lips before I could even say hello to him told me my strong intentions to resist him were going to be fully tested.
But still, I let him kiss me. It was quick, casual, and the best I could hope for.
In the back of my mind, a little devil was telling me to keep going, to let this just be a casual thing until he was healed and moved on. It was my conscience that kept reminding me how stupid I was being, what a risk it was to be close to him at all.
I did my best to listen to that part of my brain and ignore the other part.
I walked in and sat down next to him on his huge couch, his smile disarming me right away.
“Jesse,” I began, “what we did yesterday was wrong.”
“It certainly was,” he agreed with a solemn nod.
“You agree with me?” I asked, shocked.
“Sure,” he nodded. “It was a complete violation of ethics.”
“Oh. Right, yes it was. I’m glad you see it my way.”
“Sure,” he said, inching a little closer to me on the couch. “How could I not? It’s obvious that it was so, so wrong. Totally and completely inappropriate.”
“Right,” I said, my eyes darting down to his full lips, remembering the way they’d felt between my legs yesterday. My body stirred with desire and I bit my lip. “Totally inappropriate.”
“Of course. Terribly inappropriate,” he whispered, his voice low and hypnotizing as he moved even closer. His face was inches from mine and my breath became ragged and shallow as he neared.
“Right,” I whispered, swallowing hard. “So we agree then? It can never happen again.”
That sexy, slow crooked grin spread across his face and he shook his head slowly.
“No, Maise. I don’t agree with you there.”
“But you said it was wrong.”
“That’s right, I did,” he said, his eyes locked on my lips as he leaned even closer. If I moved a half an inch forward, I’d be kissing him.
God, I wanted to kiss him.
“If it’s wrong, then we can’t —,” I began.
He reached out and put a finger on my lips, silencing me.
“It’s only wrong because of your job, Maisey. And guess what? I’m not going to tell anyone, and I bet you aren’t either, right?”
“No, of course not, but —,” he pressed his finger firmly against my lips again and I closed them.
“Then, what’s the harm? A little pleasure between two friends?”
“But your knee —.”
“My knee is healing thanks to your magic hands. Don’t worry about that. You said yourself that I need to be moving around and working on building flexibility in my knee… You’re helping with that.”