"It's a special occasion."
"Is it?" she asked, swirling the liquid in her glass.
Their food arrived and after the waiter left them, Nick touched his glass to hers. "It's always special when I'm with you."
Courtney's heart went into overdrive. Never in a million years had she thought Nick could be so charming and romantic.
After they'd eaten a leisurely meal and were in the car again, after a glass of wine and a nice meal, Courtney wasn't paying attention to where they were headed.
She glanced around when Nick pulled into another parking lot only minutes later. A large, imposing building stood in front of them. She sucked in a breath, a rush going through her brain, suddenly realizing that the entire outing had finally come to the place that Nick had been pushing toward. "Where are we?" she asked softly, trying to get her vocal chords to work as she looked at the huge government-looking building with suspicion.
"Courthouse," he announced just before he got out of the vehicle and walked around to her side.
He opened her door, and as if a fog had taken over, she unclipped her seat belt as he took her hand. She stood to her feet as if in a trance and lifted the strap of her bag around her torso as she stared at the huge building. He pushed on the car door and it slid shut with a gentle snap. He began ushering her forward but her feet stalled as she held her ground. "What are we doing here?" she asked more firmly, finally finding her voice.
He stopped and turned toward her, backing her up until her butt hit the car's gleaming fender. He crowded her back and stared down into her uplifted face. "What do you think we're doing here?"
She shook her head back and forth, refusing to answer, refusing to guess. If what was happening was what she thought was happening, she was going to be upset.
He reached out and took her chin in his fingers in a grasp that made her want to submit but at the same time, made her want to jerk away from him in equal measure. As a compromise, she stood completely still and did neither. His thumb ran across her bottom lip producing a lick of fire. Those damn butterflies went off in her stomach even when she didn't want them to as she became light-headed. He opened his mouth and the words she'd been afraid he'd utter came spilling out. "We're getting a marriage license."
Chapter Seven
Courtney felt herself blink up at Nick as her emotions went into a tailspin. Where in the hell was her marriage proposal? Was he announcing they were getting married without any input from her? Yeah, it had been a nice, romantic afternoon . . . but it wasn't enough. Where was her ring? Where were the words? She continued to look at him blankly while she tried not to be hurt.
She glanced at the building and then back to Nick while a knot formed in her stomach. Very softly, she shook her head and at her action, a frown built on his features. "No?" he asked incredulously.
She shook her head again.
He took her hand in his, and for a moment Courtney thought she was going to get at least some of what she wanted, maybe a belated proposal. But abruptly, he turned her hand until it was captured to his side. He caged her in with his other arm until she was well and truly under his physical control. "What's the problem here, babe?"
Courtney really, really didn't want to tell him that her feelings were hurt, so she went down another path. "I'm sure we don't have the correct documents. Surely we need something more than a driver's license." It took everything she had to keep her words neutral.
"I've got your passport and birth certificate."
Bells started clanging in her ears. "What?" she asked, as anger began to blend with the hurt she was feeling.
His mouth flattened as he undoubtedly realized that his plan wasn't going the way he'd mapped it out. "Again, what's the problem?"
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand," she said as she gave him a withering stare. "You just helped yourself to my personal documents? Did you ask your mother for them?"
"No, I took them from the safe. No big deal."
"No big deal?" Her spine stiffened and she pulled on her arm, watching him with reproachful eyes. "Let go of me."
"Bullshit."
"Nick," she hissed in anger.
He didn't let go. His face came closer to hers, impatience emblazoned across his features. "I'm not getting this, Courtney. You didn't think this was about marriage? That's it's always been about marriage for as long as I can fucking remember?"
Seething with anger and pain, a single tear that she couldn't contain rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, not wanting to show weakness, but that ship had sailed. Obviously past the point where she could contain her hurt feelings, she knew there was no room left for her pride. "I've always guessed it was about marriage," she admitted. "I've always hoped it was about marriage." Her face fell from his and her eyes filled with tears as the knot of pain in her stomach exploded. "But I wanted a proposal, Nick. I wanted a ring," she mumbled. She swallowed and lifted her eyes back to his, her anger roaring back.
"But instead of a proposal, you steal my documents? That was a shit move on your part."
Nick froze but remained silent. A thousand different emotions crossed his face and she easily recognized a few: Torture, anger, remorse, passion, shock, impatience. She focused on the remorse and tried to get him to see what he'd done. "Don't you understand? You're the only one I truly have. You're the only person in my life who loves me for me." She stared up at him while he looked down at her in silence, listening intently as she spoke.
Her voice crumpled as the tears started flowing freely as she recognized the blatant concern now showing on his face. "Your family doesn't really count, because I was forced on them, you know?" She grimaced and looked away before reluctantly sliding her eyes back to his. "I don't have parents to rely on if push comes to shove. You're everything to me. I love you with everything I have and I guess . . . I suppose I thought that you'd recognize that this moment needed to be special for me . . . how important belonging to you is to me . . . you belonging to me . . . that you'd be considerate of my feelings and understand that I needed the words, the motions, the ritual . . . " Her voice trailed off as she reached out with her free hand and balanced it on his chest, trying to convey her pent-up emotions and looking for stability at the same time.
Courtney emerged from her diatribe to complete silence. Nick was staring at her with a look of mixed regret and horror on his face. He brought her hands between them as he held them in his. He swallowed hard and his jaw flexed. "Babe, I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't know what to say."
His turmoil softened her heart. She shook her head, just once. "You don't have to say much. I'm not going to let one tiny bump ruin everything. Just tell me you want to marry me. Tell me you'll keep me safe and be my family." She sucked in a breath. "If you promise me that, I'll forgive you for taking my things without asking, and I'll walk inside that courthouse with you and we'll get a marriage license, because I want to marry you so badly that I can barely think of anything else."
Nick was appalled that he'd fucked up so badly. Courtney was being open and honest with him, but there was still a part of him that was trying to hide from the truth, and that couldn't go on.
There was no question; he had to fix this, and fix it now. There was only one way he knew how to do that, and that was to tell her the complete truth. He needed to stop being a scared, fucked-up pussy and start acting like a man. He knew she loved him. She'd just said so, again. And he knew she meant it.
Letting go of her hands, very gently, he wrapped one arm behind her back to lend support and with the other, lifted her chin and stared down into the beautiful blue eyes that had held him enthralled for more years than he could count. "I love you. I've loved you since you were a teenager and I've waited for what seems like my whole godforsaken life for you. All I've ever wanted was for you to love me back and to marry me, to let me be your family." He looked into the beautiful face that was like an addiction to him. "Baby, you're the one who doesn't understand. You're my obsession; you're what I've worked for and lived for my entire life. I not only want to be the one to keep you safe, I've fantasized about it since you were young." He reached down and kissed her on the forehead, forcing himself to hold her gently and not in a grasp so tight that she wouldn't be able to breathe.
When he looked back down, she was holding his eyes like a lifeline, and he continued, putting it all out there for her. "So be mad at me if you have to, but yeah, I orchestrated today in an effort to get you here. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable when it comes to you, I really don't. You're the only thing in the world that I'm scared of losing, of disappointing; I get cold sweats just thinking about it. So, yeah, today was planned. But it gets worse, baby, so if I'm making confessions, I might as well tell you all of it." He looked at her, hesitant to let her know exactly how screwed-up he was.
"Tell me," she whispered.
He gritted his teeth and went for it. "The last couple of months were hell for me, because we weren't together and I need so fucking badly to know you belong to me." He took a deep breath and let out the rest of his confession, hoping she wouldn't think he was insane. "I intentionally drove you across the state line because Illinois only has a twenty-four hour waiting period instead of three days, like Missouri."