He let out a rough laugh that held no humor and even with her eyes closed, she knew he came to stand directly in front of her. He tipped her chin up with a single gentle finger and her eyes flew open to stare into his. His thumb caressed her cheekbone and she was hit with a strange feeling in her stomach that she'd never felt before . . . but there was little doubt in her mind that it had something to do with his overt masculinity. "It's rough, isn't it?" he asked in a gravelly voice.
She nodded her head as the tears continued to run silently down her cheeks.
With one hand cradling her jaw, his other came up and almost absently, he picked up a tress of her blonde hair. "You have every right to cry, sweetheart. Every right in the world," he said more softly. His thumb continued to stroke her cheek in a gentle, soothing action as her eyes held his. "I understand what you're going through . . . at least, somewhat."
She listened in silence, letting his tender touch and soothing, warm words flow through her and comfort her.
"Losing my dad was bad," he said, letting out a tortured breath of air. "But I was older than you, and it was only the one parent." His lips flattened sadly and Courtney clung to his warm, brown eyes as he continued, "I've tried to imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes, but honestly, I can't." The words were compassionate, warm, and they soothed her as well as sent a raw shiver down her spine. Mostly, they made her remember what she'd lost and a fresh batch of tears spilled over.
Her eyes closed again but he tipped her chin up in a bid for her to look at him. And she did; she opened her lids and stared into his dark, impassioned eyes as he began to speak again. "You're strong, sweetheart. I've never met anyone stronger. When I think about what you endured--" He took a breath. "Being thrown into this household, knowing we were still in our own kind of shock . . . making sure you never asked for help . . . never expecting or needing attention. Don't think I haven't noticed the strength and maturity that took. Losing both of your parents at seventeen, being ripped away from your home and your friends--"
Sharp misery pierced her at the reminders. "Stop," she choked out and then looked back down in both anguish and embarrassment.
"Fuck--"
At the harsh expletive, her eyes flew back to his in shock, the word and the tone so out of sync with the way he'd behaved during the last few moments.
There was a look of bitter recrimination on his features. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to make it better, but I--"
Abruptly, Courtney reached up and put her fingers to his lips, pressing lightly against them to stop the flow of words. He owed her no apology.
His eyes sharpened and then narrowed. He hissed in a hot breath that she felt through her fingertips. The hand on her cheek tightened while his fingers in her hair grasped her more firmly as she felt the pull on her scalp.
His lips felt warm and firm against her touch and startled at the intimacy, she sucked in a breath. At her reaction, he stilled completely and Courtney felt a tension overtake his muscles, as they seemed to stiffen.
Not quite believing she'd had the audacity to touch his lips, she snatched her hand away in horror and hid it behind her back, unconsciously balling her fingers, not wanting to let his warmth slip away.
Wiping away her tears with her other hand, she looked down again and waited for him to speak.
She was aware that he was breathing deeply, almost as if winded, but after a moment, he seemed to calm down.
He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small box. "I have something for you."
She lifted her head in surprise. "A birthday present?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you can call it that. But I want you to open it now, before everyone gets here, will you do that for me?"
She nodded her head as an old, remembered ritual came back to her and by rote, she shut her eyes, and lifted her hands, palms up, one cradling the other.
She stood silently, waiting for his gift, until finally, he cleared his throat. "What are you doing?" he asked gently, his tone puzzled.
Her eyes flew open as waves of embarrassment and another rush of sorrow slid through her. Quickly, she pulled her hands down to her sides. She wasn't getting anything right today. "Nothing, I'm sorry." To her horror, her eyes washed with tears yet again, and she mumbled in confession, "I'm having a bad day."
"Sweetheart." He leaned in and very briefly, kissed her forehead. "Tell me why you did that thing with your hands. I know it must have meant something."
At his abbreviated kiss and the term of endearment, she again felt a hot rush of butterflies in her stomach. Well, he was older and handsome and of course she might have a crush on him. That was normal, wasn't it? She decided not to think about it and instead, gave him the answer to his question, no matter how juvenile it sounded. "Before my parents gave me a present, my mom would say, 'shut your eyes and hold out your hands.'" She took a harsh, shuddering breath at the bittersweet memory, admitting, "And I miss that."
At her explanation, Nick's arms wrapped around her and he held her close against the heat of his body. His hands ran up and down her spine in a soothing, consoling caress as she stood still in his embrace, breathing in his scent, and taking the comfort he was offering. His body was big and strong and warm and she laid her head on his chest and let his solid, reassuring masculinity seep into her soul. He rocked her, to and fro, while murmuring soothing sounds in her ear. He held her for long moments while her tears dried up and then he leaned down and whispered, "Shut your eyes and hold out your hands."
At the words, Courtney felt a wash of comfort and nostalgia, as well as a hot rush of tenderness for what he'd done and she smiled. Lifting up, she whispered, "Thank you."
He inclined his head and lifted a tiny box, holding it in the air between them and waited for her to comply with his request. She continued to smile as she shut her eyes. Very carefully, she held up her hands again. Within seconds, the box was placed in her palms and she opened her eyes and stared down at it. "What is it?"
"Open it," he said gently.
Anticipation rushed through her and she recognized that it was the first time she'd experienced the feeling in over a year. She pushed the lid up and the box snapped open. Inside, she found a small silver heart decorated with three different colored gemstones suspended by a delicate chain. She studied it and then looked up at him in question.
He was watching her intently and she frowned in confusion and looked back down at the charm.
Not waiting any longer, he took the box from her trembling fingers and removed the charm and chain, dropping the box to a side table. He held the piece of jewelry out so she could see it better.
"It's pretty," she whispered.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
She nodded her head and reached out a finger to touch the gift as if expecting that both it and the moment might disappear into thin air.
"Do you know what it is?" Nick asked in his deep voice.
Something was tickling her brain, but he was standing so close that she couldn't get her faculties to function correctly. She shook her head.
"They're birthstones."
Her eyes flew up to his, a flutter going off in her heart.
"Yours, your mom's, and your dad's," he elaborated. "I had it made."
Pleasure and pain rushed together and landed in her stomach. Their birthstones! Something she could always wear that would keep her family unit intact, at least within her heart. A tiny feeling of belonging again settled in her midsection. The charm was so perfect that she couldn't wait to wear it. But she also couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that Nick would do something so special for her. She needed to thank him. She cleared her throat and slowly, licked her lips. "Nick--" she began, but stopped abruptly when he took a sudden, harsh intake of air.
She glanced up and found his gaze frozen on her lips. His jaw clenched and his neck corded with something akin to tension. Slowly, almost as if they were forced to, his eyes left her mouth and lifted to hers. A strange feeling filled the air during the loud silence that pulsed between them.
Finally, Courtney couldn't stand the friction any longer and she again looked at the tiny piece of jewelry that he continued to hold tightly between his fingers. "May I have it, please?"
He cleared his throat, seemed to shake himself, and put the heart in her upturned palm. Through the strange emotions roiling in her belly, she forced a smile and tried to latch the chain behind her neck. She struggled with it awkwardly, and when she sighed with frustration, he pushed her hands away and twirled her around.
He lifted her hair from her neck, laying it over one shoulder. Clipping the necklace into place, he quickly spun her back around again, his hands going to her shoulders. She glanced down and picked up the charm where it lay nestled on her chest. "I love it," she said through a smile and lifted her eyes to his with pleasure.
With no warning of the storm to come, Nick's head dropped. His lips landed on hers and the first thing Courtney noticed was a roaring in her ears. She'd been kissed only once before, at sixteen, and it had been quick and messy.
This was different.
Nick took full control. His lips were hot and firm, sliding over hers slowly, back and forth, in a caress that held her spellbound. Unconsciously, she dropped the charm and lifted her hands to his shoulders to find traction in a world suddenly careening out of control.