“So, Kat, spill the beans. What’s going on with you and AB?”
She shrugged but didn’t meet my eyes. “Nothing much.”
“Nothing much? Is he your boyfriend, or are you two just fucking?”
She sighed. “I haven’t a clue.”
“Are you in love with him?” I asked her.
She still didn’t meet my eyes, but she nodded. I sighed.
“And I take it he doesn’t know or doesn’t feel the same?”
Finally, she turned to me. “You know, I haven’t a clue about that either. It’s crazy how he is. There are times where he seems to be completely in love with me. He treats me like a queen. He spends all this time with me and tells me how he cares about me. He hates if someone hits on me what-so-ever. And when we have sex, he tells me how he wants me only for him and no one else. I mean, I think he loves me. Right? Or at least he wants to be with only me. Then bam…he changes and starts to ignore me. He stops calling me out of the blue, and he doesn’t answer my calls. I know he’s seeing other women. But when I try to break it off with him, he begs for me not to. I mean, I’m so lost when it comes to him. I don’t know what to do.”
“Did you try and have a talk with him or set some boundaries?”
“Girl, yes. But I don’t know. I can’t seem to keep the boundaries there.”
She sighed and fell back.
“I know the feeling.” I lay down next to her. “Why don’t you try playing him at his own game? Let him know that, since you aren’t exclusive, you both should be able to see other people. Then you should go out on some dates. Don’t be available for him all the time. You said he is seeing other people. So you know he’s probably fucking around too. So don’t be that doormat for him.”
“I can’t sleep with anyone else, Monk. You know that.”
I know my best friend. She can be crazy, just like me. She is confident in herself. But when she loves, she loves hard. It’s hard in a relationship to not give them her all.
“Then sweetheart, you have one of two choices. Either you let him go, or you play by his rules. To be honest, you should let him go. I mean if he makes you feel like crap, he’s not worth it. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and to eat it too.”
“Well, I would love to. But it’s not that easy,” she revealed.
“Why isn’t it? Kat, just tell him that you don’t think this is going to work out. You want more, and clearly he doesn’t. Don’t make the same mistake I did and waste time being with someone that doesn’t want you.”
Kat sat up and looked down at me.
“Is that what you think? You think that Mason didn’t really want you?”
I shrugged.
“Can you think of another reason why he did what he did? I mean, after all the things he told me and how he treated me, I can’t understand how he was able to just walk away so easily. He didn’t have the guts to break up with me in person. He sent his brother to give me a letter…a freaking letter.”
I shook my head and sat up. I let my hair down and started shaking the sand from it. Over the years, I let my hair grow. It now falls down in between my shoulder blades.
“Well, I can’t answer that. But I can say that, from what Marc and AB said, he was head over heels in love with you. I don’t think a person can get over a love that deep very easily.”
I shook my head. Tiffany has always been one of those soft hearts who believes deeply in that love that consumes your soul. I used to believe in that until my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I still can’t find the tiny shards to make my heart whole. I actually gave up looking.
I stood.
“Come on, let’s drop the whole love subject and talk about getting shitfaced tonight. I can’t wait to let loose. And maybe…just maybe…I’ll finally give your cousin some ass.”
Kat laughed and shook her head, putting her hands over her ears.
“I really don’t want to hear what you’re planning on giving Cory, okay? But can I just say this last thing, and then I’m done? Cory was in a situation similar to yours. The sun rose and set on Tiana’s ass, according to Cory. When she up and left, he was devastated. I don’t know if you have any feelings for my cousin or not, but he’s just as fragile as you are… And don’t give me any shit; I saw the way you looked at Mason a little bit ago. You can’t fool me. I just want you to be mindful about Cory and his delicate heart too, okay?”
I sighed. She was right. I don’t want to hurt Cory. I love him. I’m not sure if I can love him the way he wants, but I was willing to try. But Kat is right. I know he just got out of a relationship, and he gave himself completely to her. I don’t want to get his hopes up when nothing might happen between us.