Ruined: Loving An Alpha Male(91)

‘Shit, shit, shit!’

I heard chuckling behind me, and I turned to find my brother coming up from the hotel.

“This isn’t fucking funny.”

“Oh, yes, it fucking is. I mean what are the odds Tiffany would be best friends with your ex-fiancée? I mean you couldn’t wish this kind of luck on your worst enemy.”

He smacked his hand on my shoulder, and I gave him a dirty look. I looked out on the swell of the water. The ocean, or any body of water for that matter, always settled me. It gave me peace of mind when shit was always garbled. When I was in the Navy, I used to spend countless hours sitting on the deck of the carrier or destroyer I was on…thinking about the next hell I would find myself in…hoping I could get out of it in one piece. The rough water always managed to calm me.

“Seriously, bro, are you alright?”

I shook my head.

“She looks good, doesn’t she? I mean a little on the thin side for my taste, but…” I said.

He came up to my left and looked at me, “Yeah she looks good. But she looked like that when I saw her last; maybe smaller.”

I looked at him.

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me? You said she looked amazing.”

“No, I said she was amazing. She looked like shit when I saw her; sleep deprived and I could tell she wasn’t eating. But what would you have done if I told you all that? Would it have changed your mind?”

I knew it wouldn’t have. But still it hurt to know how much I affected her. Damn, I was a son of a bitch.

“Yeah…I didn’t think so,” Marc added after I didn’t respond to him. “So what are you going to do now?”

I turned to face the hotel.

“Nothing…Look, she clearly has moved on, and so did I. The past is in the past. I’m not the same Mason she knew, so we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Uh, it’s that simple, eh?” he asked me.

I started walking back to the hotel. “Yup. That simple”

That night, after I took all my anger and aggression out on Diane, I was sitting on the patio sipping on a glass of cognac. I wondered if I would be able to do this. Could I pretend that nothing happened between Maxine and me? Diane came back to the room, trying to ask me a lot of questions. Apparently nothing was revealed after I left the table, and I didn’t answer any of her questions. I simply told her the past is my past. If I hadn’t shared anything with her by now, and we’ve been together for a year now, I wasn’t going to start opening up under these circumstances.

Again the extent of our relationship gives me the leeway to be this way. She knows the rules. This is more of a business relationship than anything. I mean, I don’t treat her like a business trip, but we don’t share emotional and personal feelings with each other…we just don’t. It was something that I didn’t want to do ever again, and being with Diane gives me the type of relationship that I want…one with no emotions to attach us, so there won’t be any feelings involved if shit don’t work out.

She won’t look at me in a disappointed light because I won’t feel like I have to live up to something. What she sees is what she gets; a broken, fucked up individual with next to no heart.



****



I woke up at six in the morning to grab some breakfast before the 8:30 a.m. tee time that Tiffany so graciously set up for us. I think she did that on purpose since she knows I drink so much at night that I never really wake up until after eleven. But I love playing golf, so I got myself up and showered. I was drinking coffee when my brother and his wife came into the restaurant.

“Wow, Marie. Are you seeing what I’m seeing? My brother up at the crack of dawn?”

He sat next to me, and Marie sat on the other side of me.

“Why, yes, Marc. To whom do we owe the pleasure of your presence this early, Mason?”

“I think I have an idea,” my brother replied.

I gave him the finger and continued to drink my coffee. The couple continued to make Maxine innuendos, and I tried to ignore them. But it was hard. Well hell, I was hard just thinking about her. As a matter of fact, I had a boner all night and still woke up with one. I was doing fine until these two brought her up again.

“I’m going to wait out in the lobby for you jokers. Come and get me when you’re ready.”

In about thirty minutes, my brother and AB came toward me, dressed and ready to go. I stood and headed for the door when AB stopped me.

“We are waiting for Cory.”

I groaned but didn’t reply. Just as fate would have it, Cory and Maxine came through the front door.

“Hey guys, let me just grab my things from the room.”