No. Hell, no. I didn’t want to know the truth. So I’d asked them not to tell me. If I was going to die I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to go into surgery with the mindset of defeat.
“Sure, let me just wake Sleeping Beauty.”
Gabe jumped to his feet. “I’ll just be outside. I’m sure she’ll be hungry.”
“Gabe,” I called after him.
He turned. “Yeah?”
“I do have one favor to ask.”
“Anything.”
“I need you to do something for my girl.” I smiled and licked my lips. “She’s going to be pissed, but promise me you’ll do it.”
Gabe laughed. “I like the idea already.”
“I’ll text you the details later. I have it set up for tomorrow, okay?”
“Sounds good.” Gabe waved and walked off as I leaned down and kissed Kiersten’s lips.
“Mmm,” she moaned.
I kissed her lips again. Her eyes fluttered open. “Tell me it was a bad dream, Wes.”
“Not a bad dream, just not my favorite.” I brushed the hair from her face and closed my eyes as it ran through my fingers. “Now, as much as I love having you plastered against me, that nice nurse standing over there needs to take me for my MRI.”
“Oh.” Kiersten jumped to her feet a little unsteady at first and then shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I probably look like a mess anyways. I should go get a shower.”
“Gabe has stuff for you.” I nodded to the door. “My dad has a suite in his own private part of the hospital. You and Gabe can sleep there and take showers, alright? I’m assuming you want to be here and—”
“I’m not leaving your side,” she vowed.
That was what I’d been afraid of. I would be the one leaving and she — she would stay.
“Alright.” I yawned and gave her a wink. “I’ll be done in a bit and then we can talk all about how I’m the worst boyfriend in the world for missing the Homecoming party.”
She smiled at that and walked out of the room.
“Beautiful girlfriend.”
I looked at the nurse, not caring that she was probably going to think I was crazy and said, “I would make her my wife if I could.”
The nurse smiled and patted my arm. “Don’t give up yet. Sometimes when we think God has written The End, what he really means is The Beginning.”
****
The MRI scared the hell out of me. I always hated them but wasn’t given much of a choice in this instance. Instead of concentrating on not moving — I thought about Kiersten. I imagined what she would look like when she was thirty. Would her smile still be the same? Would her belly be swollen with a child? Damn, but I wanted the child to be mine. I bit down hard on my lip. I had to stay still, my fists wanted to clench. I wanted to yell. My visions went on fast forward to Kiersten as an old woman sitting on the porch holding her husband’s hand. I wasn’t sure why I was torturing myself. Hell, I’d known her for three months, but it wasn’t that instant love thing that had been a part of all my teenage and college years. I knew it was real. Maybe that was God’s final gift to me — true love.
Before I knew it, the MRI was over and my face was wet with tears. The minute I could move I wiped the wetness from my face so nobody would notice. The last time I cried was when Tye died. Funny, how death really brings it out in people. Three months ago I was ready. Three months ago I had accepted my fate. But now? Now I wanted more than anything to be a part of Kiersten’s story, not just a chapter, but the entire damn book. I just wasn’t sure what the plan was. All I knew is it was out of my control. Maybe that was the scariest thing. In life we always have some measure of control whether it be over our emotions or choices, but when it comes to cancer? The only thing you can control is how you respond to it.
“How are you feeling?” that same nurse asked. She had bright blond hair, almost translucent. Her skin was a pale white, but she didn’t look washed out. She was really pretty, though I couldn’t tell how old she was. Maybe thirty? Forty? I must have looked confused, because she put her warm hand to my forehead. “Are you feeling ill?”