I just hadn’t realized Coach would call my dad, or that my dad would tell him I was sick.
“Sick?” Coach had asked, “Well, will he get better?”
My dad hadn’t said anything because he didn’t know, just like I didn’t know, just like the doctors didn’t know.
He’d argued with me about it again. Wanting me to at least see if the tumor was shrinking. I didn’t want to know. Who the hell would? I had a freaking tumor twisting its way dangerously close to my heart, and they wanted to know if it was growing?
Hell. No.
I’d rather live in ignorance than see the scan of that monster inside my chest. If the drugs weren’t shrinking it, chances were, I’d die in surgery or come out of it and be made comfortable.
Dad didn’t know, but I was going to ask the doctors about that.
Why would I want to live through surgery? Only to die a few months later in pain?
Maybe that made me a coward. Hell, I felt like one most days. Especially as the days got closer to my surgery. I had three more weeks until D-day. Three more weeks to either tell Kiersten the truth or break her damn heart.
What the hell had I been thinking to give her as much time as I had left? Her eyes had lit up. I knew she was thinking that was a great promise. It was all I freaking had to give her.
Time was the most precious thing in the world to me, and I’d just given her all of it. Because I was falling for her. Because I cared for her. Because I wanted to give her something to remember me by, even if it would eventually fade like its namesake. Time… what an absolute horror-inducing word.
Chapter Thirty
I wish I could forget the dreams… I wish I could be with him every night. And here I thought the nightmares were gone.
Kiersten
I woke up screaming. And then for reasons I really didn’t want to dig into, let alone discuss with that logical part of my brain that normally made good decisions, I padded my way to Wes’s room.
Just as I lifted my hand to knock, the door swung open.
And I stared slack-jawed at that amazing eight pack. Was I sighing? Yes. Biting my cheek to keep from grinning like a fool? Absolutely. I took my time looking, and my nightmare was officially forgotten.
“Feeling better?” Wes tilted my chin up so that he could see my face.
“How did you know I was feeling bad?” I asked in a sleepy voice.
He sighed and opened the door for me so I could walk in. “I heard you screaming.”
“Oh.”
I looked down at his clenched fists and felt instantly guilty. Embarrassment washed over me as I took a step back. His hands came around my waist, lifting me into the air. In an instant I was lying on his bed.
“No, it’s fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. The nightmare’s gone and—” I struggled to get up from the bed, but he held me firm in his arms.
Wes brushed a kiss against my forehead. “You didn’t let me finish.” He gave me a sexy grin. “I was on my way to your room to beat whatever monsters were hiding under your bed.”
“You slay dragons now?”
“Is that what you dream about?” He pulled me against him so we were lying chest to chest. “Dragons?”
“I wish.” I shuddered in his arms. “A lot of times I dream about death, about my parents’ death. They’re drowning and I can’t reach them. I’m always too late.”
Wes’s grip tightened around my waist, his breathing seemed to pick up. Licking his lips he kissed my forehead. “Time’s a bitch, isn’t it?”
I laughed. “Yeah, it really is.”
“If only I would have done this, I should have done this, I could have done this…” He swore. “Life is full of those three.”
“Three?”
“Woulda, shoulda, coulda.” Wes traced my jaw with his fingertip. “It’s human nature to assume that we have that sort of control over what happens to us, but the truth is… life happens and sometimes you’re too late. Hell, sometimes you’re too early. Sometimes you make the wrong choice just like sometimes you make the right one. The only time people ever use those three is when things don’t go the right way. People don’t question themselves when things are going well. They question themselves when things have gone to hell.”