Ruckus (Sinners of Saint #2)(122)

       
         
       
        

"My guess is just as much trouble as you gave us." Dad chuckles behind me.

We all get back to the house-three men from different generations-and Vaughn. I put the two boys where I can see them. The media room we set up for Knight and his baby brother.

"Did you ever check on your mom?" I ask Knight.

"Yeah. She said she is good. She also said that she loves me more than she loves you."

I narrow my eyes. "She did not."

"Did too." Knight shrugs, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Bull … 's head." I clear my throat. Knight jumps and high-fives Vaughn.

"Told you I'd get him to say a bad word! I'm goooood."

He is good, and I am blessed.

And whole.

And fucking alive.

Thanks to her.





What makes you feel alive?

My family. My home. My men. My belly. I'm alive. And my therapist was right. I am going to live forever.



"Dean, stop."

"Why?"

"Because I hate it when you do that."

"What am I doing?"

"Singing the 'super sperm' song."

A dark chuckle leaves his mouth. I roll my eyes and turn on my back in bed, my huge belly poking out. I have a high-risk pregnancy. I don't get out of the house very often. I see my doctor every other day. My body was not designed to carry another person, and while my appetite quickly caught up with the plan, my lungs are struggling to function for two. But it happened. I fell pregnant. And I fell pregnant because …

"Superrrrrr spermmm." Dean hits those high notes, walking out of the shower and into our bedroom, his sex hair still dripping water. Not that we've been having sex recently. Which is a crying shame, because pregnancy makes you really horny. My hormones took the wheel eight months ago and drove me into the arms of soft porn and erotic books. Doctor Bernstein said no funny business until I pop this kid out. "Gets the fucking job donneeeee!"

Oh, yeah. The super sperm song has rhythm and double meaning. Justin Timberlake, watch out.

"Daddy, you said another bad word!" Knight calls from his room, ecstatic. It's ten o'clock at night. What is he doing up? "This is the best bet ever. Vaughn is going to owe me a lot of candy."

Sometimes I feel like Dean doesn't even try not to cuss in front of Knight. I don't resent him for it. That's who he is, and if people have a problem … well, fuck them.

He doesn't say that-he probably wouldn't admit it, either-but I know that one of the reasons he agreed to sell all those shares to Jordan Van Der Zee is because he wanted to spend more time with us. He doesn't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Neither do I. But I do know that both my boys are going to be in very good hands. This is the man who impregnated me after I was told that there was only a 0.0001% chance I will be able to conceive. He took that slim chance and made it happen. Since he doesn't carry the CF gene, my son will be healthy and strong. Just like him. 

"Put a dollar in the jar for me," Dean yells to Knight, smirking at me and opening his towel before knotting it back. "I'll pay you tomorrow."

"There's a twelve percent interest on that," Knight yells back. Dean chuckles.

"Are you sure he is not biologically mine?" He gives me that look. You know, that look, that still makes me damp and begging for his dusky side to spank me.

I shrug, downplaying his effect on me. "He is the closest thing to the real you." Other than the one that's in my stomach.

Dean walks over, flattens his palm against my huge belly, and sits down beside me.

"Hey, Sirius?"

"Yes, Earth?"

"Why do you shine so fucking bright? You make it hard for me to sleep next to you."

"Mmmm." I take his hand and kiss his palm, smiling. "Thanks for the cheese, but it gives me heartburn."

"Okay, what I'm really trying to say is that you started snoring about two months ago and fuck, I'm tired."

"This too shall pass," I say, teasing. "Soon, my snoring will be replaced with a baby who cries all night for the next two years."

He kisses my temple, then my belly, then between my heavy tits, making a suckling sound. I love him. I love him so much I don't know why I didn't do what I should have done all those years ago. Push my sister aside when she came running into his arms and claimed him as mine.

Because he always was.

Every part of him.

The good and the bad, the happy and the sad.

Mine.

Just like I was his.

Nina died weeks after I left the hospital three years ago. Drug overdose, back on the farm she lived on in Alabama. Her husband by her side. I was there to pick up the pieces of Dean's broken heart. To see him finally break, finally admit that he cared. That he loved her and wanted nothing but to be her son. That his heart was never going to be the same again.