“I understand,” I agreed as he looked at me and sipped his beer. “I feel the same way, but I can’t help but to wonder…what now?”
“What now,” Brett repeated as he seemed to mull that over. “I had a long talk with Cole after you fell asleep about that. Once the smoke cleared, he was admittedly angry with the situation that I readily admitted to him, seeing as we were pretty raw in that moment. I saw no reason to lie anymore, though, and once he expressed his anger towards me, he seemed to calm down. He told me that he was your best friend at school, which made me realize that my son was the one that you slept with in the beginning.” Brett shook his head and stared at me. “What a mess.”
“Yeah,” I agreed as I watched him twist his wedding ring slowly.
“I thought about things. None of us regret what happened to the best of my knowledge, but we also know that things can’t go back to how they were,” Brett looked at me sadly as I felt tears in my eyes. “We both care deeply for you, Larisa. My son is in love with you, though, and he told me that he has been for a long time. I feel strongly for you, but I know that this is a bad situation to have you in and I want you happy.”
“Brett,” I said as pain filled me and he dropped his hands.
“It’s best if we don’t continue, something that you tried to tell me. I am going to figure out this marriage and what I want in my life, but I am not going to keep you trapped in this. I’d like to think that someday we could talk. I’ll always hold this close to my heart.”
“Oh, God. How do we get through this holiday?” I asked as the tears flooded my cheeks
“The best way that we know how to,” he replied as he smiled at me. God, he was handsome, and all of the memories played through my mind. “I am not going to mention this to your mom. We had agreed on that before Cole left, but if you two end up working out, then we’ll tell her that. There’s nothing wrong with it technically, and you have a close relationship from what he says.”
I went back to my room and mourned the loss of my older lover, getting it all out before Mom got home. It was a critical and memorable part of my life, one that I’d never forget. I also thought about Cole and what we’d built over the years. I loved him, but I was going to leave this to him to decide. None of us could change what happened, and it seemed like we didn’t want to, but we’d have to move past it.
I stayed in my room and watched television, upset but not as ill as I was at the beginning of all of this. I’d grown up over the last few months, and I knew that I’d survive this.
I heard a knock at my door later that night and looked over to see Cole walk in as he looked at me. I was putting the sheets back on the bed that I’d washed and he helped me lay the comforter over that. I was dressed in pajamas that covered me, but I felt naked as he looked at me with emotions rising in his eyes. “How are you feeling?”
I looked at him. “I am okay. You?”
“I don’t know. That was…intense.” He looked at me as I nodded. “I don’t know why that turned me on, Ris. Nothing like that ever had before. That being said, I never want to repeat it, not with someone that means as much to me as you do.”
“Oh, Cole. I don’t want that either. That was one of the most chaotic parts of my life, probably ever and I will always wonder what I could’ve done differently. I just can’t dwell on that, but he and I did end things. That’s over.”
“I know. We talked about that. Dad loves me, you know. He never wanted to hurt me, but you’re…well, you.” Cole forced a smile, and I gave one back to him. “I want to try us. I know it will be weird after everything and that I have some work to do inside, but I do love you. I always have.”
“I love you, too,” I admitted as I sat down and looked up at him.
I did, too.
Epilogue
I’ll be honest…it wasn’t easy to make it work with Cole after all that happened. We loved each other, and we knew that, but there were times that we both hated what had happened and took it out on each other, leading to fights and tears. I felt guilty during these times and wondered if we had a fighting chance.
Other times, the past would turn us on, and we’d go at it like animals. It was rough and hard, punishing in my mind as I screamed his name. I didn’t know whether I preferred that to our sweet lovemaking after a fight some nights, but the truth of the matter was that I loved Cole more than anything. I let the past with Brett go and he tried to make it work for a few more months with Mom, who never learned about our torrid and dysfunctional affair. She only knew that Cole and I developed feelings for one another and acted on them.
Brett was moved out by the time January was over, into his own place and dating again. I’ll admit it was weird, but he wasn’t anything more than a man that my mother married at that point, giving me the love of my life and my future.
Cole and I spent the nights at my apartment. We did a variety of things together; dates, dinners, movies and sports for him but they always ended in my bed. His kiss heated me up months later, making me weak and needy all over again even after the worst fight.
One night, we’d stayed in watching movies with a fire burning in the large fireplace that was the focal point of my living room. We were a year from graduating and looking forward to getting jobs and changing things up a bit. He looked around the room, lit only with an orange glow and cozy before he leaned over to kiss me. Cole knew what he was doing as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss easily. I smiled against him as I allowed him to part my lips and slide his tongue against mine, finding it hard to breathe like every other time he kissed me. His hands quickly scooped me up and over his body, where I felt his hard cock pressing into the yoga pants that I wore as I rocked against him. “Feeling a little frisky?” I asked as he pulled away to kiss my neck slowly.
“We’ve been studying. A lot. I need to be inside of you where I belong,” Cole whispered in my ear as I shivered and found his lips with mine. We’d been going strong for months now, coming up on a year. I felt his mouth crash against mine as he gripped my ass to hold me still, teasing me with the thrusting of his hips. I cried out as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth, finding my clit with the rough edge of his jeans as he continued to torment me.
Clothes were stripped quickly in between long kisses, and he lifted me up before he drew my nipple into his mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to rock against him, but he held me tight as I whimpered his name. “Cole…oh God. I need you so bad.” I realized that it had been a busy week with studying and just falling asleep together in complete exhaustion. I pulled him closer to me and slid my feet through the cushions as I found him hard and bare, sliding back and forth against his cock as I moaned.
“Fuck, Larisa. You’re so wet,” Cole groaned as he bit down and made me jerk hard. “I can’t take this anymore.” I went on the pill right after we got together so we wouldn’t have to worry about condoms, once we got tested for anything. That was awkward, but we made it through, and I felt the heat of him as he lifted me and impaled me on him with one fluid movement. “So tight. So fucking tight. Fuck me baby. I need your hot cunt,” Cole chanted as I found leverage and started grinding against him hard and fast. He was thick and hard, filling me as I rode him, his lips and teeth still finding my skin with the movement as I whimpered and cried. “I love you, Ris. I love you so much.” He came hard along with me as I told him how much I loved him back, holding me close as our sweaty skin slipped together with our heat. “I want to live with you. I want to make this official, Lis. Please…I’m ready.”
I pulled away and stared at him for a long moment as his gaze locked with mine. We took some time with the relationship, not talking about living together or anything too soon. We still spent the night together almost every night, but his words changed everything. “I am, too. Will you move here or do you want to get another place?” We had a lot of memories here now, and he kissed me softly as I closed my eyes.
“This will do until we can get a house after graduation. I just need to know I’m waking up with you every morning and go to sleep with you every night,” Cole said against my mouth before he kissed me again.
Six months later, Cole was taking me from behind before we had to leave for school in just a few minutes. I held on to the sheets and pressed back against him as I cried out his name. Cole held onto my hips as he thrust deep and hard and moaned my name before I exploded and screamed with my release. I dropped to the bed and took a ragged breath and closed my eyes. “I don’t want to go to class,” I murmured as he rolled onto his side next to me and pulled me close.
“Let’s stay in bed,” Cole suggested as I opened one eye and looked at him. He moved and reached over to his side of the bed and looked back at me with a smile. “We can celebrate with dinner later.”
“Celebrate what?” I asked as I crawled up to the pillows and curled up.
He held up a dark velvet box, and my mouth dropped open. “I’ve been friends with you for so long now, Lis. We’ve been through a lot as friends and lovers now, and I want you to be my wife. I want you in my life forever. Will you marry me?”