I don’t own as much as a single piece of furniture in this house. None of what I had before was good enough for this house. Brooks made me sell it all on Craigslist for a fraction of what it was worth.
The tromping sound of Royal coming down the stairs puts a smile on my face.
“Good morning.” I move toward the coffeemaker, grabbing a white mug off a nearby hook and pouring him a cup.
“Morning, Dem.” He takes it from me, kissing the side of my face, and hopping up on the ledge of the counter. The morning sunlight paints his chiseled body in a warm glow, capturing his natural tan and highlighting the sleeve of tattoos covering his right arm.
“What time do you have to be at work?” I ask.
“Not until one,” he says. “I’m working the late shift today so I can help you pack.”
“Thank you.” I pour myself a cup and palm the mug in my hands, admiring the gentle sweetness of this moment.
Everything about being with him again feels natural. It’s as if the war that had been waging within me for nearly a decade has taken a breather. My heart is tired. My head is tired. And being with him brings a brand new sense of calm and completeness I never expected to feel.
“Where are you going to live?” His forehead crinkles when he takes a sip of the steaming black coffee, and he’s so fucking adorable.
“With my parents. For now.” I roll my eyes. I’m not proud of being twenty-five and completely and temporarily dependent on my parents, but it’s not like any of this was my choice. “I’m looking for a new job, but it’s kind of hard to find teaching gigs in the middle of the school year. Once I find something, I’ll move out.”
Royal’s expression falls, and I know what he’s thinking.
Me living with my parents doesn’t bode well for us getting to know each other all over again. They’ll never allow him over, at least not without a lot of pleading and convincing, and even then, who knows?
“I know this is going to sound completely insane,” he says. “But . . .”
“No, I’m not going to move in with you.” I stop him before he has a chance to even suggest something that ludicrous. “I appreciate the offer though.”
“I just want to be able to see you,” he says. “Any time I want. And maybe it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want to drive through Rixton Falls on my way home every night and know that you’re a few miles away and completely inaccessible to me.”
I move toward him, placing my palm against his chest.
“I’ll come to you,” I say. “We’ll meet at your place.”
There’s a hint of relief in his softened stare, and he runs his hands through his messy locks. There must be leftover product in them, because they stay where he leaves them. No wonder his hair always smells amazing.
I smirk at the idea of Royal primping and preening in front of a mirror every day. He always was a pretty boy. Pretty eyes and a pretty smile to contrast with his masculine, chiseled features.
“Your parents aren’t going to like this, you know,” he says. “You running off every night to be with me.”
“Yeah, well. I’m not seventeen anymore,” I say. “They can’t tell me who to be with.”
“So you’re with me?” The left corner of his mouth rises until a dimple centers his cheek.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“Then what was last night?”
“Last night was just . . . sex.”
“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about what you said.”
“Oh?” I hide my smile with my coffee mug. Heat sears my cheeks when I think about how I told him I loved him last night. I’d wanted to say that to him since the second I saw him again last week. But I also wanted to slap him that night too. I’m a confused girl, and I’m going through a lot, so I can’t be held responsible for the crazy shit that falls out of my mouth half the time.
“You said you loved me.” He sips his coffee. “Did you mean it?”
I exhale, staring out the kitchen window above the sink behind him.
“I’m always going to love you, Royal,” I say with a sigh. “When I’m ninety years old, on my death bed and looking back on my life, you’re probably going to be in the forefront of my mind. You have this permanent place in my heart, and I can’t shake the feelings I have for you no matter what I do.”
He studies me, listening to my words with devastating intensity, like his life depends on them.
“And I’ve enjoyed these last two weeks with you,” I say. “Despite everything that’s going on right now, you’ve been this unexpected rock for me, and I appreciate it. And I love the way you make me forget about everything, even if it’s temporary. But if you take away all of that, you and I are still a couple of strangers who loved each other once upon a time.”