I’ll deal with Brooks and the consequences of what just happened as soon as he’s healthy and well, but the last thing I want is for Brenda to look at me like that again. Like I’ve crushed her sweet soul.
She turns to leave, and I spy her looking at the parked Challenger across the street. Her heels click along the sidewalk until she reaches her Audi, and I give her a wave and close my door.
Royal’s waiting around the corner of the foyer, and he comes to my side.
“Did you hear that?” I ask.
He takes my cheek in his hand, and I place my palm over it. Now’s not the time to let myself enjoy how good it feels to be touched by him again, but God, does it feel good.
“I did.” His jaw sets, his gaze narrowing. “They’re waking him up. Good. He can pay off all those fucking credit cards now.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” I blurt my words before I have a chance to change my mind.
“Demi, what are you talking about?”
“You coming around,” I say. “With everything going on . . .”
“Wait.” He pushes a forced breath through flared nostrils. “So now that Brooks is going to wake up, you want to try and make it work with him again? Is that what this is?”
“No.” I wave my hands. “God. No.”
“Then what’s the issue? Because last I knew, you were single. Once he wakes up, he can confirm that, and then I’m pretty sure you can do whatever the hell you want.”
“I just feel guilty about this. Something about it doesn’t feel right,” I say.
“You’re such a fucking Rosewood.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“You have no reason to feel guilty. Brooks was a horrible person. He left you with a huge mess to clean up. He only ever thought about himself. You owe him nothing, especially not your loyalty. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for him.”
“It’s not him. I don’t want to hurt Brenda. She’s been so good to me, and we’ve become close over the years. She needs to hear it from Brooks. Once he tells her he left me, maybe we can move forward, but for the time being, I think we should step away from this for a bit.”
He says nothing, but his lips form a straight line. The hollow of his jaw flexes. I know he’s not satisfied with my proposal, but it doesn’t matter. This is how it has to be.
“You just show up at my door after all this time and expect me to run into your arms and throw the rest of my life—my obligations, my responsibilities—out the window. You can’t possibly be that delusional, right?” My arms fold, and I take a step back. “Just because we fucked doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how badly you screwed me over. It doesn’t change anything. It was just sex.”
“I can’t walk away from you again, and I’m not going to sit around and wait for you to call.”
“Sucks when the shoe’s on the other foot, huh?”
“It’s not that,” he says. “We wasted almost an entire decade apart. I don’t want to go another day without you in my life. I’ve had a life without you. I don’t want to go back to that.”
“It’s not about what you want, Royal. It’s about doing the right thing.” I can’t believe I’m pushing him away like this. I waited and waited and waited for him to come back, and now I’m kicking him to the curb, despite the fact that he still very much loves me. Am I testing him? Am I doing this out of fear?
“What’s the right thing in this situation? Push away the only man you ever loved because you can’t stand to lose that pillar-of-the-community reputation of yours?”
“This is not about my reputation.”
“Damn right it is. You don’t want people to judge you and talk about you.”
“I don’t want to hurt Brenda Abbott. She’s been a second mother to me.”
“Don’t use Brenda as an excuse. She’s a sixty-year-old, grown woman. She’ll get over you. She’ll move on, trust me.”
“You still haven’t told me why you left.”
Royal groans, slamming a balled fist against the wall to his right. “Are we really having this conversation all over again? Right now?”
My face pinches, stubborn written all over it.
“I told you. Let’s get to know each other again, and I’ll tell you when I’m ready. And when you’re ready.”
“I am ready.”
“No, you’re not.” He grabs his jacket off a nearby coat rack and slips it over his shoulders.
The fact that he’s suddenly leaving on his own accord makes me want him to stay. Just a little.