She smiled up at me. “I feel great.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, cause you’re drunk.”
She shook her head. “I’m not that drunk. I’m just feeling really good, like I’ve broken out of some prison.”
I chuckled again. Was this the first time she’d drank this much? It wouldn’t surprise me. And then I saw the look she gave me, and my cock jerked.
“It’s hot in here,” she said, and I nodded. It was fucking hot, but then again there was a shitload of people crammed in here.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?”
I straightened to my full height and looked down at her. I was about to suggest outside, but before I could say anything she grabbed my hand and started pulling me through the living room and toward the stairs.
“Wait, Cassandra,” I said and pulled her to a stop. She looked over her shoulder at me.
“I just want to talk where we aren’t crammed in like a sardine.”
I didn’t want to presume anything, and I sure as fuck wouldn’t take advantage of her, but I shouldn’t have nodded and let her lead me up the stairs. I should have said we should just go outside.
And then we were walking into a spare bedroom and she closed the door.
“Cassandra, this isn’t right.” But my body was ready. I’d wanted this moment for a long time, to just be alone with her. But I sure as fuck didn’t want it to be while I was buzzed and she’d drank more than she was used to.
“You think I’m drunk and don’t know what I’m doing,” she said but started speaking again before I could answer. “I’m not too drunk to know I’m here with you. I’m just feeling good enough I don’t have to hide anymore.”
I didn’t know what she was getting at, but I kept my distance.
“I hate having to pretend, Rowdy.”
“Pretend?”
She went over to the bed and sat down, staring at her hands that were in her lap. “I might regret this in the morning, but I just wanted to tell you how I really feel.” She lifted her head and stared at me, and the way her big blue eyes pleaded with me could have had me falling to my knees for this girl. Her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders, and I couldn’t help but stare at her.
She’s just so fucking beautiful.
“I admit my inhibitions are down, and that’s why I’m even bringing this up. But if I don’t get this out I’ll regret it.” She smiled, but it didn’t really reach her eyes. “I might even regret opening my mouth come morning, but I don’t care right now, Rowdy.”
I held the neck of my beer bottle in my hand and looked into her eyes.
“I care about you so much.”
My heart jackknifed in my chest. “I care about you too, Cassandra.”
She shook her head. “No,” she said and stopped speaking for long seconds. “I mean I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes because I know I can’t have you.”
And right there everything else stopped. There wasn’t anything else that mattered in the world aside from what Cassandra had just said.
Chapter Four
Cassandra
He probably hated me about now. I never should have told him that I love him. The alcohol had completely taken away my filter, and now I didn’t know what to do. He cared about me. That was so sweet but not what I wanted. I wanted more than to be cared for. I’d have even gone for him feeling desire, or something else. Instead, he cared for me.
How lame was that? Some women may like to think of a man caring for them—not me. Rowdy was not the kind of man to fuck a woman he cared about. He cared about his sister.
“Just forget I even said anything. It was really silly of me.”
“No.” He stopped me from moving by holding my arms and making me sit back down on the bed.
Why did we have to be in this room, in private? It was like everything I couldn’t have, and he was taunting me with it.
“Look, I know you’ll never feel the same way about me, and that just sucks.” I stared everywhere but at him. I don’t want to stare at him in case I broke down in tears.
The alcohol had given me a delightful buzz, and now I wished I’d gone home. Partying was way overrated.
“Will you calm down?” he asked, and I didn’t even realize I’d been waffling on.
“I’m sorry.”
“Cassandra, when I say I care about you, it means everything. I don’t even think you realize what that means.”
Staring at him, I didn’t know what to say. When it came to Rowdy I was always confused.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. You smile, and just to see it, it lights up my whole world. I’ve never been attracted to anyone more than I am with you.”