Rowdy(100)

It took two more days until Poppy was released and the police were done with her. By that time we were all ready to be back home. Poppy was sick of being poked and prodded and the constant reminders of what had happened to her. She was also arguing vehemently with Salem about her plan to return to Loveless and confront their father. Poppy just wanted her to let it go, but Salem was adamant that she was going to get Poppy’s things and have some final words with their dad. I was trying to stay out of it because I saw both sides of the argument and I knew there was no stopping Salem once she had her mind made up about something. In fact I was going to fly home with Poppy and get her situated while Salem was renting an SUV and driving to Loveless from New Mexico. It was a situation that had both sisters uneasy for different reasons.

On the day Poppy was finally discharged we were standing in front of the hospital waiting for the taxi to take us to the airport and I could tell Salem had something on her mind. She was fidgety, playing with her hair, and wouldn’t look me directly in the eye. After five minutes I had had enough and hauled her to me by her upper arms so that we were eye to eye. I kissed her on the tip of the nose while she dangled there and told her softly,

“Stop it.”

She scowled at me and swatted my bicep as I put her back down on her feet. “Stop what?”

“Whatever you’re thinking. Just stop. I’m trusting you to come back. You gotta trust me that I’m just taking care of my family. Your crystal ball shows us, remember?”

She made a face at me and sighed. “I know. She’s just so broken and you’re just so sweet and want to make everything better. I just had a brief flash of doubt is all. I know you’re the best person to help her heal right now. You’re the only person I trust with her.”

I bent so I could kiss her on her sassy mouth. She always tasted like the best of everything. I loved the way she just melted into me and the way her tongue twisted and curled along mine. I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers.

“You know how you said you wanted to still be the first at some things so you could surprise me?”

She laughed a little and nodded, bumping our heads together. “There is a really important first I want you to do for me while you’re in Texas.”

She pulled back so we were staring at each other and I think she had to have seen in my gaze how important my request was because she agreed without me even telling her what it was.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, Rowdy.”

I gave her a lopsided grin and explained to her what I needed for her to do for me. By the time I was done, we both had tears in our eyes and needed to hold on to one another for just a second.

The doors behind us whooshed open and Poppy was wheeled out looking like a shattered doll. I would help her heal and so would everyone else in my errant family. We were made up of the fragmented and damaged and it was only together that we learned the value of ourselves and what unconditional love and acceptance looked like. It was the perfect place for Poppy to forget about the past and find her peace and her future.

I helped load one Cruz sister into the taxi and kissed the other one good-bye with everything I had in me. It was oddly reminiscent of ten years ago. Once again I was taking care of Poppy and watching Salem go off to do her own thing. Only I knew this time it had a different ending, and instead of cursing fate and bad luck, I was thanking both of those things for bringing these women into my life for better or worse.

Whatever happened from here on out, I would always be grateful for every single moment I had with everyone I loved.





CHAPTER 20

Salem

I HADN’T STEPPED FOOT inside of a church since I left Loveless a lifetime ago. I didn’t have anything against religion. I believed that faith and the trust in something bigger than yourself was an important part of people making peace with how hard and trying life could be at times, but leaving my old life behind also meant leaving behind hours spent in a pew listening to my father piously lead his congregation.

It was an odd feeling to be back as an adult. It felt different knowing I could get up and leave at any point in the sermon that I wanted to. Now that I was out from under his control, lived a full life beyond him and this town, his words seemed so hollow. Where I always thought my father was full of religious conviction and driven by faith, as I watched him at the pulpit now I wondered if it was all just an act.

Sure he was just as passionate as he always had seemed. His words echoed from the wooden rafters and the people surrounding me were obviously moved, but there was something there, something I could see clearly now that time had passed, and he no longer seemed so intimidating or all-powerful like he had to my young eyes. His smile was just a little too bright. His eyes were just a little bit too wide and the cadence of his voice was just a little too practiced and theatrical to ring true. All his words about love and respect, about doing God’s work and living a life of sacrifice, hit a chord in me as I realized he was very much preaching “do as I say and not as I do.” It was hypocritical and I wished instead of being wrapped up in my own misery at home when I was younger I could have seen him and his dictates for what they were. I felt like it probably could have saved me from making a lot of mistakes along the way.