Rough, Raw and Ready(37)
“No, about the situation, because it hasn’t been about ‘us’ since you met Chassie, regardless if I was here or not.”
“But you are here now. And I hope you ain’t suggestin’ that your showin’ up out of the blue had nothin’ to do with Chassie takin’ off today.”
“Is that what you want, Trevor? For me to admit fault?”
98
Lorelei James
Dammit all to hell, he’d gotten trapped by the pain in Edgard’s eyes once again. He shook his head.
Edgard sighed. “If I would’ve stayed in Brazil this wouldn’t have happened. But you cannot stand there and tell me that this situation is one-sided.”
“You kissed me, remember?”
“Distinctly.”
Trevor’s cheeks heated. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Push me back with disgust. Knock me on my ass. Scream that I’m a perverted fucker.” Edgard threw up his hands. “Jesus. You should’ve threatened me. Become enraged by the insult that I imagined even for the slightest moment you might like fucking me. Demanded I get the hell away from you and never come back. But you didn’t do any of those things.”
I couldn’t. God help me, I didn’t want to.
“Would you have acted angry and offended if you’d known your wife was watching us?”
I don’t know.
“Are you sorry I’m here?”
I don’t know.
Edgard rubbed the heel of his hand on his forehead. “Don’t answer. I don’t know if I could stand it if the answer was yes.”
“Didn’t you tell me you were prepared for my rejection from the minute you showed up?”
“Yes.”
Trevor wanted to shake the answers out of him. “Why?”
“I’d already lost everything in my life that mattered to me, so I stupidly thought I had nothin’ else to lose by coming here.” Those golden eyes flickered. “I was wrong. So very, very wrong. Pointless to discuss now. I’m goin’ to bed though I doubt I’ll get a lick of sleep.”
“Jesus, Ed. you can’t drop that on me and walk away.”
99
Rough, Raw, and Ready
“Yeah, I can. I’ll see you in the morning.” Edgard ducked through the kitchen doorway. The stairs creaked without pause and his bedroom door locked with a click of finality.
The house was silent. Trevor had never felt more confused or alone.
The sun’s pinkish rays lit the horizon, ending Trevor’s night of tossing and turning.
No need to dress since he’d slept in his clothes. Half a pot of coffee later, he headed out to do chores.
When he returned to the house, Edgard sat at the kitchen table. The man always looked damn fine in the morning, freshly showered, wearing clean, crisply ironed clothes, his cheeks and jaw shaved smooth as a baby’s butt, a spring in his step and a sparkle in his eye. Annoying, really.
But today Edgard looked a little worse for the wear. Dark circles emphasized his tired eyes, stubble coated his angular face, and he wore the same clothes as yesterday. He mumbled into his coffee cup. Edgard’s usual chipper self must’ve slept in.
“How’s Meridian?”
“The same.”
“What do you need done this morning?” Edgard blasted Trevor with a warning look.
“And don’t say nothin’. It’d be an insult to Chassie because I know she works her ass off before noon.”
What the hell? Ed was being protective of his wife? “I already fed the cattle.”
Edgard lifted a brow. “This early?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Chassie didn’t call?”
Trevor shook his head. “Thought I’d get all my shit done early so we’d have time to talk when she comes home.”
“Sounds like a plan. Where were you off to?”
To pine over another thing I can’t have in my life.
100
Lorelei James
Jesus. That sounded pathetic. Trevor twisted a version of the truth. “Our neighbor to the south is thinkin’ about sellin’ his place. He’s given us first shot at it. Still hush-hush.”
“I take it there are other folks who’d want that piece of land?”
“A few. Kind of an Old West code, if you like your neighbors, you offer it to them first. But it ain’t like we’d get it cut rate. Gus’s usin’ the money to live off for the rest of his life, so I got no interest in screwin’ him out of a fair deal.”
“But?”
“But I don’t know if Chass and I can afford the down payment, say nothin’ of the buyout price.” Embarrassed, Trevor scowled. “Thought I’d head over and see how he’s doin’.”