“Other than that, you can…do anything you want to me.”
The building could’ve caught fire, a tornado siren could’ve blared, or a fucking wrecking ball could’ve crashed through the wall, and he wouldn’t have noticed at the moment. But those words brought his head up.
“What do you want?”
He could practically see the blush rising in her cheeks. “I thought we were talking about what you want.”
“No, this is all you. I’d like to push you, but only to places where I’m pretty certain you’d like to go. I’m not going to cross any lines you may have all for the sake of getting myself off. So if there’s something you’re curious about, or you think you want to try, then you need to tell me.”
She averted her gaze from his, studying the portion of the ceiling just over his right shoulder. “I just keep thinking about what you said about your ex, about you staying around because she was crazy in bed. It was the first thing you mentioned when I asked why you were with someone like that for so long.”
“And if I’d used my brain, I would never have told you that, especially if I thought it would eat at you. Hey.” Gently, he stroked the hair from her forehead, drawing her attention again. “It might’ve kept me for a while, but it didn’t keep me forever, did it?”
“I don’t like the thought that I’m not the best you’ve ever had.” Wow. The fierce intensity of that statement took him by surprise, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d just gotten a glimpse of the pre-accident, always-gotta-win Macy everyone talked about. Also…what the hell?
“Now I fucking did not mean to give you that impression. Jesus, girl.” He sat up on his knees, rubbing a hand over his head. She followed, modestly holding the bedspread to the swell of her breasts. “I wish I could even describe to you how I felt that first night we were together. I can’t, though, because the only words going through my mind were holy fucking shit. That’s it. Over and over. That you had even looked my way once, that you agreed to meet up, that you actually pulled the first move and didn’t tease or stop me—my life could’ve ended that night, Macy, and I’d have considered it complete. You are the best I’ve ever had. If all we do from now on is straight missionary sex at eight p.m. on Tuesday nights of months that start with J, you’ll still be the best I’ve ever had.”
If he’d expected her to look happy about all of that, he was disappointed. She lowered her head, still clutching that ridiculous blanket as if he hadn’t just had her nipple in his mouth. “Then I had to go and mess everything up,” she said at last, sounding small and dejected.
“Don’t beat yourself up. You explained. It’s forgiven. Come here.” Scooting to her on his knees, he wrapped her in his arms. Thank God, she finally dropped the blanket, going skin-to-skin with him, burying her face in his shoulder and squeezing him tight. “I’m the luckiest son of a bitch alive to be here right now,” he whispered. “Don’t ever think I don’t know it.”
“I’m pretty lucky, myself.”
Chapter Twenty
They’d gone out for sushi when the texts started. And then the calls.
Jared was pissed that she’d blown him off. She felt bad about that, having called him earlier and broken the news to his voice mail—honestly, in all her excitement, she’d damn near forgotten all about it—but he was overreacting. Apparently, he’d gone by her apartment because he wanted to know where she was. As if she had to answer to him.
When Seth asked her who the hell was trying to get in touch with her, she waved off his questions and silenced her phone. Dammit. She should’ve told him from the start that her own psycho ex might be hatching right before her very eyes. Ugh. Jared had never struck her as that type. Then again, Jared had never seen her getting seriously involved with someone else.
“Are you sure everything’s all right?” Seth asked, startling her out of her thoughts. They’d been lingering over their finished food for a while now. And still basking in the afterglow of everything they’d done just before coming here—or at least, she was. She quickly took a drink of her water.
“Oh, sure.”
“If something’s going on back home—”
“No, nothing like that. I do need to make a call though. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
“Be right back.” She slid out of her seat and headed for the ladies’ room, jaw tight with all the words she wanted to fling. The simplest solution would be to turn her phone completely off, but he’d already pissed her off.
The restroom was empty, thank goodness, and hopefully she could make this brief. Jared answered right away.
“Macy?”
“What is your deal, Jared?”
“Why didn’t you come today?”
“I told you. I’m sorry, but something came up. End of story. Now stop this. Right now.”
“I don’t appreciate getting ditched at the last minute. This isn’t like you. What’s happened to you?”
Despite the flare in her outrage, his words stung. “I think you had it built up in your mind as more than what it was. It wasn’t a date. It wasn’t a door opening to you and me getting back together someday, no matter what you might have deluded yourself into believing. The more I thought about it, the more it all seemed like a bad idea, anyway.”
“I guess you’re off fucking him again. Blowing off the people who really care about you for that trash. I never thought I’d see you come to this, but now that you have, maybe you deserve each other.”
Silent, shaking fury ravaged her, stealing all ability to speak, and she hated that, she hated it. Tears burned her eyes. The only thought that could squeeze itself in among the tumult in her head was, What would Seth say? The answer came quite readily—at least, part of it did.
“Jared? Fuck right off. I can only hope to deserve him.” She couldn’t jab the red End button fast enough. Then she did what she should have done from the start: turn the damn thing off. As she slammed her way out of the restroom, she almost ran into some poor lady who was coming in and muttered an apology before skirting past and stalking blindly back toward their table.
Big mistake, she realized as she sat. She should’ve taken a minute to compose herself. Seth’s dark eyebrows dipped as he looked at her. “What the hell happened?”
“Nothing.” She strove for nonchalance as she collected her purse and her coat, but didn’t think she quite achieved it, so she gave up. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Jesus, you need to talk about it. Your face is the color of your sweater.” Which was fuchsia. “Looks like you’re about to combust. C’mon, babe. Whose ass do I need to kick?”
Oh, she could think of one right off. How dare Jared say that about him? About her? Had he always been that big an asshole, or had she just not paid attention in her naive youth? “It’s nothing. Can we go back to the room now?”
The shift in his demeanor was apparent without him saying a word. His dark eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, and there was no mistaking the tightening of his jaw. “Macy. Who was on the fucking phone.”
Shit. If she told him, she had to tell him everything. And he might very well do what he threatened. “It’s just someone I know being an idiot. It’s nothing you need to worry about, okay? Let’s just go back and not let it ruin the night. I’ll cool off, I promise.”
His gaze bore into hers a few seconds longer before he cursed and snatched his wallet from his back pocket, slinging a few bills on the table before standing and shoving it back in its place. He wouldn’t look at her.
“Hey,” she said gently, standing up beside him. “It’s not—”
He walked away from her. Actually freaking turned his back and left her standing there.
Well. Looked as if acting like an asshole was catching. She followed him, struggling into the coat he was usually all too happy to help her into. “Seth.”
At least he held the restaurant door for her, but he didn’t answer, and he didn’t meet her eyes. And if she was being deliberately ignored, damn if she was going to beg for his attention. She surged ahead of him and snatched open the passenger door of his car before he could touch it. If he’d even been inclined. The force she used to close it after she flung herself inside probably clued him in a bit to how his behavior was affecting her already shitty mood.
What the hell? Damn Jared Stanton. In the momentary silence while Seth walked around to the driver’s side, she watched the headlights on the interstate blur, then clenched her eyes shut. All that accomplished was squeezing the tears out. She wiped her cheeks as he dropped into his seat.
“Tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“Why the damn inquisition?”
“Because you’re keeping something from me, and I don’t like it.”
“So my life’s an open book when I’m with you? I have to clear every phone call with you and relay all my personal conversations for your approval?”
“Where is this shit coming from? I only asked for details on the one phone call that had you looking like you want to tear someone’s head off. If someone’s fucking with you, Macy, I want to know about it.”