He laughed, propping his head up on his elbow. “The hottest fuck I think I’ve ever had.”
Macy’s brows drew together. Would he ever think of what they did as more than that? Was she insane that she wanted him to?
“What’s the matter?”
“Am I…wet?” Something was definitely going on; her thighs were damp. Oh, God, the condom hadn’t broken, had it?
“Is that the first time that’s ever happened to you?”
“What?”
“Baby, that’s all you.” He trailed one fingertip up her leg. “The G-spot is a thing of wonder.”
Seriously? She’d never believed in all that female ejaculation stuff. Candace and Sam had debated it once, she thought, but she’d tuned them out…like much of what Candace had said about sex with genital piercings involved. She still felt wretched about the way she’d treated her friend despite all her apologies. “Are you sure?”
He gave a wry laugh. “Oh yeah. You can bet I’m fucking sure when I make a woman do that.” In one fluid motion, he stood from the bed. “Let me get you a towel.”
Embarrassment roared high in her face, and when she covered her face with her hands, she realized her legs weren’t the only things wet. Tears covered her cheeks. She sat up, staring at her damp palms in dismay. What the hell did he think of her now? That she was a broken, emotional, sexually repressed nightmare? Cruelly enough, the thought only made more tears drip from her eyes faster than she could frantically wipe them with the sleeves of her sweater.
“Macy, baby, what’s wrong?”
At the sound of his voice, she leaped up, panicked, thanking all that was holy her legs were able to hold her. She couldn’t suffer another indignity tonight. “Nothing. Can…can you take me home?”
“Wait, no. Shit, did I do something?”
This wasn’t how things were supposed to go, not at all. This was supposed to be fun. Where was the fun? Where was all this emotional crap coming from?
“Talk to me, dammit. I can’t fix it if you don’t talk to me.”
“I don’t need you to fix me,” she snapped and immediately wished she could’ve caught those words before they escaped. He froze midstep, a furrow appearing between his brows.
“I didn’t say I was fucking going to fix you. You’re not broken. But something’s got you all fucked up, and maybe I can fix that. There’s a difference.”
“Is there? I just…” She exhaled deeply, then took slow, measured breaths, struggling to send the tears back where they belonged even as she scrubbed at them. “I’m sorry. Typically, I’m not a crier.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Okay.”
Great. He’d already suffered one psycho ex. She hoped he didn’t think he was standing in front of the next one. She chuckled without humor, giving up her battle with her own emotions and looking down to toy with her fingers. “It’s not your fault. It’s not anything you did.”
“I think I’d rather hear that it is. At least then I might be able to do something.” He came closer and handed her the towel he’d brought. Thankfully, he didn’t watch as she swiped at the remnants of her earlier pleasure and the emotional pain that chased it. He ambled away, shoving his hands in his pockets and sightlessly staring at some pictures on the dresser. She had to strip off her panties—she’d have to get the other ones out of her purse.
“Don’t you think it’s pretty obvious how this will end?” she blurted.
He looked at her then. The bitterness in his reply wrenched something inside her. As if the words dredged up old hurts she couldn’t possibly imagine. “Yeah. I guess I do.”
“Then why am I here?”
“I don’t know, Macy. Why are you? I don’t feel like I have to explain what you’re doing here, after what I said to you in the car.”
“You don’t believe these things ever work out. I’m surprised you would even want to try.”
“Maybe at last I see something worth the risk.”
She didn’t want to resist the smile teasing at her lips, but she couldn’t trust it yet. “Really?”
“Well, not so much when you’re a sobbing mess or a mopey drunk, but—” He ducked to avoid the pillow she snatched up and tossed at him. “Just kidding. I even like you then.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Jesus. I don’t know how someone as beautiful and accomplished and awesome as you ever took such a hit to your self-esteem. Can you explain that, please?”
“My accident—”
“That’s all it was. An accident. It could’ve happened to anyone. It happened to me, every little kid’s nightmare. It’s hard; I know it is. But you don’t let it defeat you.”
She nodded, still sniffling. “I did let it. It…I feel like it took away my identity. It made me afraid. I even became afraid of my friends when they started changing around me. I felt like my world was snatched from under me once, and I got it back, but…what if I’m not so lucky next time?”
He crossed to her, tipping her chin up so she was forced to look at him…not that she thought she wanted to look anywhere else at that moment, or ever. Some unnamable emotion shuddered through her chest as his warm, gentle hands cupped both her cheeks. “Stop. Being. Afraid.”
Was she so afraid because she’d found the one person with the tools to put her back together again? He’d suffered a loss so profound she felt like an idiot little child complaining about the boo-boo she got when she fell off her horse.
Those eyes. She often thought they could swallow her up. Now she was sure of it. His thumbs gently smoothed the last of her tear tracks away. “And don’t be embarrassed with me.”
She bit her lip, watching him watch her, wondering what he was looking for in her eyes. He should know if she had the answers to all the many mysteries of her soul, she would have damn sure given them to him for present and future reference.
“When we’re together, I want to take you places you’ve never been before,” he said. “That’s what I signed on for, remember? Don’t freak out on me when I do it, unless you’re ready to walk away from this whole thing.”
“I’m not walking away,” she whispered. He lowered his face to hers, and she leaned up to kiss him before he could make it. Echoes of pleasure rippled through her belly at the touch of his lips. He pulled her closer, and she realized how brutally hard he was against her. That couldn’t have happened in the past few minutes. “Wait, Seth…you didn’t?”
He shook his head, brushing noses with her. “No. You kind of collapsed on me. Thought I’d get you in bed and recovered first. Don’t worry about it.”
She grinned, reaching up to stroke his dark eyebrow. “You know, I do think I’m all recovered now.”
“Oh yeah? Well, then, in that case…” She squealed happily as he toppled her back on the bed.
Chapter Fourteen
It was three a.m. He was so exhausted he could barely move his arm, but the utterly relaxed and tranquil woman beside him made all the effort worth it. It would’ve been worth it regardless, but…damn.
She lay on her stomach with her arms tucked under her and a peaceful little smile on her face, her nude body long, lean and shimmering in the dim glow of the lamp. He traced light trails across her back with his fingertips.
Who the fuck was smiling down on him for this to have happened?
“Mmm,” she said, the first utterance either of them had managed since collapsing in a heap of tangled limbs, sweat and euphoria twenty minutes ago.
He echoed the sound, leaning over to kiss her shoulder and smell the dark, vanilla-scented hair spilling over it. No matter how tired he was, he couldn’t stop touching her.
He was so screwed. In the very best way.
“Are you thirsty?” he asked.
“Mm-hmm. But don’t get up yet. This feels good.” She sounded so drowsy and so fuckin’ cute. Her skin was a delight, smooth and soft and, except for the scar up her spine, otherwise unblemished. He moved until his head lay on her upper back so he could watch his fingers trace the line. A little tension crept into her muscles but flowed easily out as he kept caressing her.
Its presence obviously bothered her. And it wasn’t a keloid, which he was never inclined to fuck around with. If only she weren’t so damn anti-ink, he could create a masterpiece for her. Before he realized it, he was tracing outward from it, a design unfurling in his head that encompassed the straight line and extended outward into meandering patterns. Maybe something with vibrant green ivy, or…
“What are you doing?” she murmured.
He kept right on drawing. Damn, it would be gorgeous on her. “Designing the tattoo you would never let me give you.”
To his surprise, he wasn’t met with sudden, harsh rejection. She shifted under him, and he slid his head back to the pillow to look into her face. “Over my scar?”
“Check it.” He pulled his left arm up for her to see, pointing at one thick black swath of ink in his design. “Right here. Feel? That’s where a bone was sticking through my skin after the wreck. The scar is ugly as hell.”