It was hard for her throughout the course of a film to remain quiet and not make comments or jokes, and he was the same way. Michelle had always been hissing and bitching at them whenever they had all watched one together, because it never failed she and Brian struck up a constant stream of witticisms. It was no different now, except for this interminable tension that had her stuttering over most of her words. And sometimes he’d say something that ordinarily would have her in hysterics, but she could hardly even dredge up a chuckle.
He wasn’t going to put the moves on her. She’d accepted that. If she wanted him—and did she ever—
then it was all on her to get him.
That thought terrified her.
“Hey, what’s up with you tonight?” he finally asked, giving her shoulder a playful nudge that nearly made her leap off the couch. His expression fell. “It’s not scaring you, is it?”
“Oh, no way. I’m enjoying it.” She resisted all urges to place her hand over the spot where he’d touched her. Her flesh was still tingling there.
“Are you all right? Nothing’s got you down?”
She fidgeted. “No. Just…um, preoccupied, I guess. I’m sorry if I’m not good company.”
He waved a hand dismissively. “You’re great. But I imagine you’re really busy with school and stuff.” She could have hugged him for the out he gave her.
“Yeah, that’s it exactly. I think I’m overloading myself sometimes, trying to hurry up and get done with it.”
“What’s the rush? It can’t be good for you to kill yourself like this.”
Getting the hell out from under my mom and dad’s dictatorship, that’s what. “The sooner I finish, the sooner I can start working, and the sooner I’ll be my own person.” Frustrated at the admission, she shoved her hand in the popcorn bowl only to brush it against his as he was reaching for another handful, and that thrill shot up her arm again, frazzling her thoughts.
“So how is it that you’re not your own person already?”
She shrugged. “Don’t mind me, I’m rattling on. It was kind of a stressful day.”
“If there’s something you should be working on right now, we can do this some other—”
41
Cherrie Lynn
“No, no, I’m glad you came over. I’m really…um, really glad you’re here.”
He grinned, and she could’ve sunk five inches into the couch for the way she melted. His teeth were perfectly straight, even and dazzling against his olive complexion. “I couldn’t believe it when you walked into my parlor the other day. It was damn sure the most pleasant surprise I’ve gotten in a while.”
That warmed her all over, rendered her momentarily speechless. “Well, good. I’d have gone in to see you sooner if I’d known you…I mean, that you…”
“Missed you?” he asked, giving her shoulder a few teasing taps. She shivered. “Well…”
“I did. More than I wanted to admit to myself.”
What did that mean? Apparently, he wasn’t going to elaborate. Tearing his gaze away from her suddenly, he took a drink from his beer and focused on the movie again. On her flat screen, the cavedwelling monsters were launching their attack upon the hapless spelunkers. Candace shoved the wad of popcorn she was holding into her mouth and tried to concentrate. Her phone buzzed in her jeans pocket…probably Samantha requesting another update. They would have to wait.
“Can I ask you a question?” she blurted.
“Shoot.”
“I know I said it’s not my business, so feel free to shut me down. But…why did you and Michelle break up?”
“Honey, we were just totally wrong for each other. Two more wrong-for-each-other people never existed.”
She had the feeling he was patronizing her, as if she was a naïve little girl and he was trying to protect her from all the ugliness in the world. “But what finally made you decide that?”
“I always knew that. But I was willing to let it ride.” He shrugged. “I liked her.”
Hmm. She had the feeling “liked her” equated to “she was dynamite in the sack”. Michelle was a selfproclaimed nymphomaniac. “Did she do something?”
“Not one thing. If you want me to pinpoint some catalyst for you, I can’t. The longer it went on, the more serious it started to get, and it wasn’t happening for me. Or for her. We were both two entirely different people, heading in different directions.”
“You don’t want a commitment,” she supplied, sounding too glum to her own ears.
“Actually, I’m not opposed to a commitment, Candace.” His use of her name right then sent a funny jolt through her stomach. He didn’t look at her. “It’s a matter of finding someone who doesn’t drive me up the fucking wall.”
“Is that all you need? Someone you can tolerate? What about finding someone you love?”
“Never known it.”
“But surely you know it’s out there.”
42
Rock Me
“I guess. My brother’s in love. My parents have always been disgustingly in love. I can’t see myself ever having that.”
“Why not?”
“Damn, girl, you are inquisitive.”
She straightened, certain she was blushing. “I’m sorry. Never mind.”
“It’s all right. But let’s put you on the hot seat. Ever been in love?”
I’m at least ninety-nine percent certain I am right now. Ohhh, that was a dangerous thought to entertain. And her mind returned it way too easily. So easily it could have rolled right off her tongue. “No. I mean, I’ve loved someone, but, um…I don’t think there can be true, unequivocal love unless that person loves you in return. If they don’t, it’s just…unfulfilled. Don’t you think?”
He was watching her now. “Any man you’re in love with who doesn’t love you back is a damn fool.”
She wanted to laugh out loud. If he only knew… “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“It’s the truth,” he said, his gaze lingering on her face. Something in that dark look stirred a longing between her legs that had her shifting positions. It brought back everything she’d felt lying on that table in his back room.
“So you’re saying…I’m lovable to you?”
He shook himself suddenly, emitting a laugh that made her jump. “Oh, hell. I’ve talked myself into a corner, haven’t I? Yes, sunshine, I think you are undeniably, exquisitely…lovable.”
But could you love me?
The question hung in the air, unspoken. She had the feeling he sensed it as well as she. His gaze still searched her face as if he pondered the answer.
Filling her lungs with adequate amounts of oxygen was proving to be more of a chore as this night wore on. For probably the millionth time, she wondered how it would feel to kiss him. Amazing, that for all her inexperience, in that one particular moment she was most concerned with something as simple as a kiss. Although with him, she would lay bets it would be anything but simple. He was staring at her lips now as if he was wondering the same thing. Reflexively, she wet them with a tiny flick of her tongue. His mouth was so sensuous, it drove her crazy. The fullness of it, the beautiful definition. There was no question that it would be strong enough to make her weak, should she ever get lucky enough to feel it touch hers.
It wasn’t to be. Blinking as if coming out of a trance, Brian turned back to the bloodbath on the screen and took a breath. Candace pulled her poor, denied lips between her teeth to repress a sigh of frustration. Damn, damn, damn. If she didn’t have the nerve to make a move tonight, she never would. He was here, they were alone, he was drinking. Not drinking a lot, but still. Maybe she really did need a beer. It might loosen her up a bit. Too bad she couldn’t stomach the stuff.
43
Cherrie Lynn
What the hell did she need to get his attention…and keep it? Bigger boobs? Fuller lips? Ass, she had in spades. It wasn’t big, but if she did put on a few pounds, it went straight in the trunk. And she had a few she was grappling with, truth be known.
Maybe you need to act out that fantasy you had in the kitchen. Could any man really resist a naked female straddling him?
“What are you thinking about so hard over there?”
She didn’t realize she was staring at him until he spoke. Tearing her gaze away, she shook her head and grabbed another handful of butter-drenched popcorn. Something else to go straight to her butt.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like it.”
“I have a major headache,” she mumbled. At this point, it wasn’t a lie. He laughed. “Well, with the way you were looking at me, I’m led to believe it’s me. You want to call it a night?”
“No, Brian, I really don’t. Seriously, tonight would probably suck so much more if you weren’t here.”
She watched in stunned silence as he grabbed one of her throw pillows and laid it in his lap, then patted it invitingly. “Come here.”
She couldn’t get the bowl out of her way fast enough, but for the sake of dignity, she managed to not sling popcorn all over the room. Settling her head on the pillow, she almost groaned in ecstasy when his fingers sank into her hair and kneaded her scalp. A moment later, the sound slipped out despite all her desperate restraint. He chuckled, his massaging fingers draining the last of her strength. “Better already?”