“Stay as long as you like.” Rose hoped she didn’t sound as breathless as she felt. That she could feel anything beyond relief that such a horrendous evening was over was a mystery to her.
What was it about this man that appealed to her so much that she could virtually forget the most miserable meal of her life? He hadn’t done anything romantic since they left the Bon Ton. Neither had he gotten excited nor allowed his emotions to run away with him. He had supported her, but she was sure he had done it for practical reasons rather than any liking for her.
Yet she still felt drawn to him.
He made her feel safe. He was fair even when he didn’t want to be. And after her years in Austin, she knew just how important these qualities were.
Fine. Campaign for him if he ever runs for governor, but you’re thinking about feelings, not qualifications.
“Would you like some coffee?” she asked.
“No, thank you. But I’d like a little more milk.” He smiled at her surprise. “I’m afraid I’ll never make a true Texan. I don’t like coffee. I couldn’t drink it strong and black to save my life.”
“I don’t suppose it’s required.”
“I apologize for the way the boys behaved. I’m afraid it’s been an unpleasant evening.”
“Tempers are bound to fly at the end of a hard day. Then I came along and upset everything.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“I doubt I could explain it to you. You’d have to be part of the family to understand.”
“Try.” She wasn’t going to be shut out that easily. She didn’t know if her knowing what bothered them would change anything, but she wanted to understand why they kept snapping at each other, if only to keep from unwittingly starting a fight.
“We moved to Texas six months before the war broke out,” George began. “Pa sent Jeff and me off to fight. We never knew he meant to leave right behind us. That left seventeen-year-old Madison to take care of four younger brothers and a ranch he hated. Mother’s health was too poor to allow her to help him.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died within the year. Madison left as soon as they buried her. That meant Hen and Monty had to take over. They never forgave Pa for leaving Ma. I don’t think they forgave Madison, either.”
“Where did he go?”
“Nobody’s ever heard from him.”
Rose could imagine how that must hurt George, especially when coupled with the fear that Madison might have died in the war.
“The rustling got pretty bad at times,” George continued. “I’ll never know most of what the twins had to do. Certainly things no fourteen-year-old boys should have to go through. They fought for their lives as much as for this place. Naturally they resented it when I came back and started telling them what to do.
“I know Jeff shouldn’t antagonize them, but he’s bitter over the loss of his arm. He thinks that no matter what the twins went through, it doesn’t compare to his years in a prison camp.”
Rose thought of her own miserable years in Austin. They would probably seem like nothing compared to the dangers of a war or rustlers, yet they were very real to her. Would Jeff feel she had nothing to complain of? Probably, but she knew that in some ways she would rather have lived in fear of her life than have to face the hatred and anger of the citizens of Austin.
“None of us is capable of judging the suffering of another human being,” she said. “What’s easy for one person might be impossible for another.”
“I don’t think Jeff will understand that until he starts to accept the loss of his arm.”
“I hope it won’t be too late. It won’t do him a lot of good to come to terms with his loss if there’s nobody left to care.”
“Maybe I should let you talk with him.”
“I’ll do the dishes,” Rose said, rising. “I have a feeling it’ll be the easier task.”
“I’m not my brother’s keeper.”
“Yes, you are. Whether you know it or not, you’re the only one with any real desire to bind the six of you into a family once more.”
“Seven.”
Rose reminded herself to be careful to talk of Madison like he was still one of them. Regardless of her own private certainty that he was dead or would never come back, George obviously expected him to return.
She wished there were something she could do to lift the burden of worry from his shoulders. There was so much she didn’t know, so much she didn’t dare ask about.
One thing she did know. There was something inside George that he was afraid of. He was too busy with his family to deal with it just yet, but it lurked there just the same. She didn’t know what it was, but it was the something that made him keep his distance from her.