“He said he knew you were strong enough. And you proved him right.”
George had almost succumbed, he had almost believed, but that was too much. Not once in his whole life could he remember his father saying anything about his strength of character. In fact, his father had berated him for being weak and too willing to talk when action was called for. He had mocked his skills, his friends, his dress, his interest in going to West Point. He may have felt some remorse over killing Tom—George would like to think he had at least that tiny bit of humanity in his soul—but he’d never believe he admired his son in any way.
“He gave me something for you. He made me promise to make sure you got it.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“He told me how to reach this place. He knew you’d be here. He said you’d come because your brothers would need you.”
George teetered on the edge again. There were times he wished he could forget he’d ever had a father. He never wished that more than now.
Salty went over to his bedroll, opened it up, and withdrew a sword. He held it out to George. “He wanted you to have this.”
George couldn’t touch it. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t. It would mean he believed. It would mean he was vulnerable. If he gave in just once, there would be no way back, no barrier from all the pain he’d walled off for so many years. He couldn’t take that chance.
“Why would he give me his sword?”
“He also sent you a letter.” Salty went back to his roll and extracted a crumpled envelope from its depths. The wax seal was badly cracked, but it was still unbroken.
“He wrote that the night before he died.”
George felt as if he had been turned to stone. He couldn’t move. He stared at the envelope in Salty’s hands. He desperately wanted to take it, but he was afraid. He was so near the edge now, he might never get back.
Then he remembered what Rose had told him, that he was so afraid of having things go wrong that he wouldn’t let himself live, that he would deny himself the chance to have the things he wanted. If he didn’t have the courage to read his father’s last words to him, how could he have the courage to face the rest of his own life?
How could he deserve a wife like Rose?
Quickly, before he could change his mind, he took the envelope, ripped open the seal, and took out the single sheet. There was only one sentence written on that page.
“Remember me the way I died, not the way I lived.”
George could feel the walls crumble and fall. He could feel the tempered steel within him bend and melt. He could feel the freeing of something inside, something small and undefinable, but something quite essential. For a moment he felt unwell; then it passed away. He felt worse and he felt better. He felt tremendous disappointment, regret as well, but he also felt relief.
Maybe he could believe after all.
Chapter Twenty-two
“They gotta be here somewheres,” one voice said.
“They probably headed for Austin. They had the whole night to get away.”
“While we was digging up half their yard.”
“I never did think there was no gold, but Pa won’t listen. He means to make that man tell where he hid it. He said he’d peel the hide off that woman inch by inch if he had to.”
George had been mad before, but what he experienced now was something completely new. He could feel rage boil through him like the surf on a rocky shore, a mighty current driving it higher and harder. This must have been how his father had felt when he lost control of his temper.
The thought frightened George so much, the rage began to recede.
“We’ve got to lure them away or they’ll soon find us,” George whispered to Rose. “Salty and I will draw them off. You and Zac stay put. Don’t move no matter how much gunfire you hear.”
“Why should I hear gunfire?” Rose asked.
“We can’t draw them off unless we attract their attention, can we?”
Rose didn’t look reassured.
“Don’t expect us back before nightfall,” George said.
“Be careful.”
They could do little more in the cave than crawl on their hands and knees, but George managed to get his arms around Rose. “I’ve never had anything to come back to, but I do now. You can be sure it’s going to take more than a few dozen McClendons to keep me away.” He kissed Rose quite vigorously. “You and Zac might as well take a nap. It’ll make the day go faster.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to convince old man McClendon it’s not a good idea to come around here again.”