George took her hand in his and slipped the ring on her finger. It was all she could do to keep from throwing herself in his arms and dripping tears all over him. She couldn’t even see the ring for her swimming eyes. She could barely make out his dear, precious features.
For once she could look at him without thinking of how handsome, or how strong, or how big and safe he looked. He was a man, her man, who needed her and didn’t even know it. He was so strong and invincible and brave. But inside he was just as vulnerable as any child. He didn’t know that. Neither did anybody else. And she wasn’t about to tell them.
It was enough that she knew.
Yet her happiness was not without alloy.
She knew he gave her the ring because he loved her, because he wanted to give her something she had wanted very much. But she also knew he gave it to her out of guilt. He had denied her children. This was only a token payment.
She could see him making payments for the rest of his life, and she renewed her vow to change his mind. It was bad enough that he was afraid to let himself have something he really wanted. It was intolerable that he would feel guilty about it.
But that was for another time. Tonight she wanted to bask in his love, to let her soul spill over with happiness knowing he loved her enough to make such a sacrifice for her.
“It’s beautiful,” she told him, “but you know I didn’t expect a ring.”
“That’s part of the reason I wanted to give it to you,” George said. “You never expect anything, but you’ve given me so much more than I ever thought possible. It’s about the only thing I can do for you.”
Rose drew him to her, nestling his head between her breasts.
“I don’t know what I have to do to convince you I’m happy just as I am.”
“I’ve made you live in a dog trot, forced you to cook and clean for half a dozen men, do without female companionship, give up any hope of having a family. There wouldn’t be a long line forming at the marriage bureau if every other woman was to get the same.”
“They would if you were thrown into the bargain,” Rose assured him. “You couldn’t get rid of me no matter how hard you tried.”
“I still don’t understand that,” George said, his mouth nuzzling her breast through the thin material.
“I hope you don’t expect me to explain it with you scrambling my wits like you are.”
“I can do a much better job than this,” George said, hunger and amusement cavorting in his eyes.
“I hope so,” Rose said, her voice growing a little unsteady. “I’m counting on it.”
For the next half hour Rose forgot all the questions plaguing her, all the arguments she needed to marshal to change George’s mind, even the significance of his sacrifice for her ring. She was only conscious of what he was doing to her body. She yielded happily to his every suggestion.
It was so hot they couldn’t sleep. They got up and took chairs out to the yard. The moon flooded the landscape with light, but the night was virtually soundless. Even the crickets down by the creek had fallen silent. Everything seemed to be saving its energy for the coming day. The breeze rustled the brittle leaves in the trees along the creek and in the endless brush. Rose could imagine a wolf or panther stalking its prey somewhere in the night and was thankful for George’s presence.
It was hard to believe that after spending her whole life in a town she could feel safe out here, miles from anyone, unknown dangers lurking in the vast distance. Even the threat of Indians didn’t bother her.
Not as long as George was here.
She didn’t know what other women might think of him. She had grown up without girlfriends and had exchanged no confidences. Still, she imagined that many a young woman, attracted by his looks and the aura of command about him, would be disappointed to find him so quiet and thoughtful, so content to stay at home.
Rose found it reassuring.
She remembered the ache whenever her father had left, his happiness whenever he was assigned to a new outpost, his restlessness during furloughs at home, her feeling of always being second-best.
She would never feel that way with George. There was no place he’d rather be than with her.
“I’ve been thinking,” George said. He was standing, looking back at the house. “We ought to add on. One room isn’t big enough for five boys.”
Especially if Madison returned. George didn’t say that, but she knew he thought it. He would never give up hope that his brother would come back.
“How much more room do you think you need?” Rose asked.
“You need a room of your own, one besides the bedroom or the kitchen. And we need someplace to eat that isn’t right next to the hearth.”