I wait silently, watching my dad read the note and then pass it to Mateo. As much as my sister runs the house, we all respect our father’s wishes. If he doesn't want me to go, then there is no discussion.
We all live in the house my father built when he and my mother came to America. He started saving as soon as he could work in Mexico, until he had enough money to come here and buy a piece of land. He and my mother made our home and had my sister and me a few years later. We grew up here, and when Mateo asked my father for permission to marry Fernanda, my father said yes, but on the condition that they live here. Our culture is very much about helping each other and living together as a family unit, so the fact that I’m asking to leave home and live somewhere else is a big deal. My mother knew my dreams of working with animals and living on a farm. She always supported me in this, but when she died three years ago from breast cancer, I felt like a piece of that dream died with her.
“You will live on this ranch full time?” my dad asks, and I nod. “What will you do when you finish your hours? Once you’ve lived on a farm and been given your dream? Will you come back here to this house with none of that and be happy, Luciana?”
“I don’t know,” I say. It’s my greatest fear. Living the life I want to but being afraid of where it will lead. I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. “I know that I have to do it. And afterwards, I will do what I need to. This is one step. We’ll have to see where it goes.”
He and Mateo share a look, and then Mateo smiles at me. “Your mama would be so proud.”
I feel little tears sting my eyes, because he’s right. She would be jumping for joy right now. Probably packing my bag and running around getting everything together. I nod and look to my father for his answer.
“I think this is a good opportunity for you. And with as much as you commute to work now, you’re gone a lot of the time as it is. This is the next step.”
I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. I was so worried about what my dad would say that I didn’t allow myself to be excited about the possibility. Reaching out, I hug him and then my sister. They all talk excitedly about the job and how much experience I’ll be getting.
I think about the money I’ll be able to save and send back to them while I’m working. The letter said I’d be staying on the Braided Rope Ranch south of town. I’m not familiar with all the farms yet, but Dr. Long said that this one was exactly what I was looking for. That I’d get experience with large animals and that there was plenty to look after.
For some reason the man with steel-blue eyes who always watches me comes to mind. I shake it off, not wanting to put that in my mind right now. Those eyes follow me every time I’m in town. And the way he tries to get my attention… I’ve had to focus on my family and on my work, and I don’t have time for men, despite the feeling that always comes to life when I think about him or see him.
I’m twenty-three and have never been kissed, but there’s time for that later. I can’t keep daydreaming about the tall dark-haired beast of a man who won’t stop smiling at me. The kind of smile that looks like he’s been doing it his whole life. The kind of smile that makes my knees weak so all I can do is fall into his arms. His T-shirts stretched tight by those thick arms of his. His dirty jeans and boots that make him look like he’s been in a field all day. His big hands that I’m sure would feel rough against my untouched skin.
“Luciana,” my sister says, snapping her fingers in front of me.
“Oh, sorry,” I say, trying to push away the lust fog I was in.#p#分页标题#e#
“Are you feeling okay? Your cheeks are flushed.” She puts the back of her hand to my forehead, and I push it away.
“I’m fine. I’m just going to pack some of my things. The letter says I start as soon as possible.”
I tell everyone good night and make my way up to my small room in the finished attic. I gave up my bedroom for the kids, and the third floor is more private, anyway. When I close the door behind me, I walk over and sit down on my bed, putting my face in my hands.
I can’t believe I got so lost thinking about him. I’ve never been so hung up on a man before. Any man before. I’ve never so much as given a thought to falling in love. Sure, I see what Fernanda and Mateo have, and I want it, but actually having that with someone wasn’t part of my plan. My life has been about finishing school and helping my family as much as I can. But ever since those eyes saw me, I haven’t been able to get them out of my mind.