“Say that again,” he said, but his brow was furrowed, as if he were still so confused at hearing me say it. I couldn’t gauge how he felt by his expression, either.
“I love you and knowing you love someone else hurts.” I said it again, and it didn’t get any easier.
A second of silence passed as he watched me, and then he exhaled and closed his eyes. “You have no idea what hearing you say that does to me, Meghan.”
Disgust?
Awkwardness?
Being uncomfortable?
“Because knowing the girl I love feels the same way is pretty fucking incredible.”
Wait.
What?
7
Meghan
He moved closer, placed his hands on the wall beside my head, and said in a low voice, “You are the girl I was talking about.” He looked down at my lips. “You are the one I love.” When he looked at my face, my heart jumped into my throat. “I’ve been in love with you for years, but didn’t have the balls to say anything. I didn’t want to ruin what we have, the friendship we’ve created.” He leaned in close again, and I closed my eyes as I smelled his intoxicating scent. “It’s always been you for me, Meghan.”
“Brendan?” I don’t know what I was asking him, but I felt like I was Alice and had just fallen down a rabbit hole.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, but I didn’t want to say anything and ruin this,” he said and pulled away an inch.
“I didn’t want to say anything either.” God, was that my voice; deep and husky and filled with longing?
Is this really happening?
“I would rather have you as a friend than lose you because I freaked you the fuck out by admitting how I felt.”
I didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know if I could have spoken if the words had been there.
My heart was in my throat at the things Brendan said. He’d never been one to share something sentimental, never been one to show any kind of emotion, actually. He’d been tough and strong, and the guy that had made sure no guys messed with me, even if at the time it drove me crazy. He’d always looked out for me, so the fact he was saying he loved me too was almost too much, and was almost too unbelievable.
Right here, right now, with the way he looked at me, that whatever was going on between us was … real.
He wanted me the way I wanted him, and all I wanted to do was be with him.
I didn’t care if there were any risks in being with Brendan, or even if I should.
I felt him playing with the wisps of hair by my ear, and chills raced up my spine. The tips of his fingers would brush the curve of my ear every so often, and I just wanted to be strong here and go for what I wanted … him. We might have said we loved each other, but it still felt so unreal.
“It’s only ever been you, Meghan.”
“That’s so hard to believe,” I said sincerely. Brendan was gorgeous, smart, and witty. He drew people in. He could have had anyone he wanted, even if I’d never actually seen him with anyone.
He shook his head and looked at my mouth again. I felt him move his fingers along my jawline and then over my cheek. I parted my mouth as I sucked in a breath when I felt him move those digits along my lips.
“No, it’s just you for me. It always has been.” He moved just a little closer so his body was now pressed against mine. I made this involuntary noise in the back of my throat when his muscles came in contact with my softness.
I also felt how hard he was.
Big.
Thick.
Long.
And all because of me.
“I can’t even think of anyone else because I’m so fucking in love with you,” he murmured, still looking at my mouth, still running his fingers along the swell of my bottom lip. “I don’t ever want anyone else, Meghan, and I’ve been working up the courage, trying to be a man about it all, and tell you how I felt for years now.”
I couldn’t think, couldn’t even breathe after he spoke.
“I want to show you with my mouth,” he said low, deep, his voice moving along my flesh. “I want to show you with my tongue and hands how much you mean to me.” He pressed his lower body harder against mine. “And I want to show you with my cock just how good I can make you feel.”
Oh. Shit. I had definitely just fallen down the rabbit hole.
8
Brendan
I wanted to kiss her so fucking badly, but I was also still reeling over the fact the woman I loved felt the same way.
She looked so vulnerable and beautiful right now. Hell, she even had a towel wrapped around her head.
I stared at Meghan, looked at her lush, pink lips, and wanted to get lost in kissing her. I wanted her to be weak in the knees as I devoured her mouth. I wanted her to be so scatterbrained over what I was doing to her she could only hold on to me.