My mom let out a heavy breath. “Oh, Brody. What brought all this on?”
“My life has been a little stressful, Mom. I’ve been wound pretty tight.” I glared at her, sounding more sarcastic than I meant to.
She recoiled like a scorned child, slumping her shoulders and looking down at her hands as she sat back in her chair.
“Listen.” I sighed. “That’s why I came up here, or was forced here, or whatever.” I looked down at Kacie who nodded proudly at me. “Things with us haven’t been great the last week and I just wanted to get it all out I guess. I don’t know.”
“I’m so sorry this is rattling you like it is.” My mom sniffled. “I wish there were something I could do to take this pain away for you. I just don’t know how to make it better.”
“I’m just pissed, Mom. I don’t understand why you guys are giving up.”
“Brody, here’s the thing… It’s not your relationship to understand,” she said softly. “Your father and I didn’t wake up and just decide this last week. We’ve been growing apart for awhile. We’re different people now. He still loves me and I still love him, just not it the same way.”
“There’s really nothing that can be done? That’s just it?” I sounded desperate, looking back and forth between the two of them.
“That’s it, Son,” my dad spoke up. “Your mom is right. We have nothing bad to say about each other and we’ll always be friends.”
“You’re just starting this process, honey, this mourning process,” my mom followed.
“Mourning?” I asked.
“Yeah. You’re mourning the loss of what you thought things would be like, the life you thought you would have. You grew up with this idea of how your life would be when you were older, and I’m sure it didn’t include having your parents separate.” Her wise words and soothing tone made me relax for the first time in a week. “This is going to take some getting used to, but eventually you’ll realize you’re not losing either of us. Just the idea of us.”
She was right. I’d always figured one day I’d bring my kids to this house to have picnics and sleepovers with their grandparents, together. This was just going to take some getting used to.
I felt defeated.
Deflated.
Exhausted.
“But if you guys can’t make it work, how is there any hope for anyone else?” I resigned, waving my imaginary white flag.
“Honey, just like I said the relationship between your dad and I isn’t for you to understand, your relationship with Kacie isn’t for me to understand. Hell, I shouldn’t even be offering advice, but I can tell you what I’ve learned along the way. If you guys want to be together, you’re going to have to roll up your sleeves and put in the work. Forever. People stand in front of an officiant and say ‘I do’ but that shouldn’t mean ‘I’m done’ when it comes to putting time and effort to grow their relationship.” She looked at my dad and a sad smile appeared on her lips. “I wish I could go back in time and take my own advice.”
An hour later, Kacie and I were in the car on the way home and she was quiet. Really quiet.
“What are you thinking?”
She sighed. “Just kinda going over in my head what your mom was talking about.
“What part?”
“All of it, but mostly the part when she said that no two families are the same and they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. It really hit home for me.” Nervously, she looked down and started playing with her hands. “Especially the part when she said that sometimes what people want at twenty-five years old isn’t the same thing they want at fifty.”
I looked back and forth from her to the road. “What are you trying to say?”
She shook her head at me. “No. No. Nothing about us, nothing about us at all. I’m just thinking. Do you think that people can sometimes want something different at twenty-five than what they thought they wanted at twenty? Like Zach?”
I clenched my jaw and dug my fingers into the steering wheel.
“Think about it, Brody. The fact of the matter is he’s here and he seems different. I feel like I owe it to the girls to at least give them a shot at having a meaningful relationship with him.”
“You owe him nothing,” I said sternly.
“Okay, you’re right. I don’t owe him anything, but I’m thinking about it from Lucy and Piper’s perspective. I don’t want them to grow up and ask where their dad is some day and I have to tell them that he came back but I wouldn’t let him see them.”