Weeping openly now, Violet fell into his arms and snuggled against his chest. "I love you," she blubbered, all snot and tears and braying sobs. "I love you and I'm so, so scared." Her fingers curled into his jacket. "Just don't leave me again."
"You can't get rid of me, love. I promise. No matter what, I'm yours." He wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly while she cried out her emotions onto his jacket.
They remained like that for a long, long time, Violet struggling to compose herself, Jonathan's hands moving over her shoulders, her arms, her hair. She wasn't sure if it was because he was trying to soothe her, or if he just couldn't get enough of touching her. Either way, she loved it. She loved his touch, and she never wanted to be without it again.
With one last sniff, Violet pulled away from him and took a step back, gazing up at his face. His unshaven, hollow-eyed, beautiful, wonderful face. "I do love you. I just . . . didn't realize it until I pushed you out again."
"I love you too, Violet. I loved the girl I met ten years ago, but I love the woman she is now even more." His hand caressed her neck, drawing her closer, and when he brushed his lips against her mouth in the tenderest of kisses, she felt hope once more.
The world was suddenly full of hope.
"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered.
"I'm glad that you're glad," he murmured. "I figured you'd either listen to me or there would be a restraining order involved. I'm actually a little surprised it's not the latter."
She gave a watery chuckle. "I wanted you here. It just took me losing you again to realize what I had."
"You never lost me," he said, brushing her hair behind her ears in a tender gesture that took her breath away. "Never think that."
Her fingers curled in his clothes. "I was so worried that I'd pushed you away again and that you'd give up on me for good. That I wouldn't be able to fix the mistake." She hesitated, and then added, "I . . . missed my period."
She felt Jonathan's body tense against her own. "I thought you were on the pill?"
"I am. I never skip a dose."
"And we used condoms."
"I know. I still bought a pregnancy test." She bit her lip. "I know the odds are pretty much impossible, but . . ."
"There's always that slim hope."
It was hope, Violet realized. She'd wanted a child to anchor Jonathan to her, to force him to come back into her life. But now that he was here, she still wanted a baby. She'd always wanted a family. More than independence, more than travel, more than a career, she'd wanted an honest-to-goodness family. That core unit of people that would love her unconditionally. That core unit of people she felt like she'd never had.
Until now. So she looked up at Jonathan and gave him a wobbling smile. "Shall we go pee on a stick together?"
"Well, I don't know what mine will do, but if you want me to, I'm game."
Violet beamed at him through her tears.
-
Ten minutes later, Violet sat on the bathroom counter, waiting for the results. She'd done the deed and then let Jonathan in so they could wait on the results together.
It wasn't surprising to Violet that the test showed negative almost immediately. It had been too much to hope, really. "No baby," she said softly, and dumped the stick in the trash. She must have been crazy to be disappointed, but she was. "It's for the best."
"Is it strange if I'm disappointed?" Jonathan asked, pulling her off the counter and into his arms.
"Not strange," Violet said. She was oddly disappointed, too. The old, familiar worry returned. If there was no baby, then they didn't really have to stay together, did they? He was free to go at any time.
"Get that thought out of your head," Jonathan said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I can tell from the look on your face that you're expecting me to run."
She really was transparent, wasn't she? "I didn't say that."
"No, but you were thinking it." His mouth twitched in a smile. "Just because there's not a baby now doesn't mean there can't be one in a year or two."
Her skin prickled at his words; not fear, but anticipation and excitement. Just the thought of being two years down the road with Jonathan filled her with an intense sense of pleasure. "So what happens now?"
"We leave the bathroom?"
Violet rolled her eyes but pulled out of his arms and walked down the hall. She was heading for the living room of her condo when Jonathan tugged her hand, heading toward her bedroom instead.
Well, she didn't have a problem with that. She let him pull her toward her bedroom, wincing when she spotted her unmade bed and the dirty clothes on the floor. "I'm not a great housekeeper."