By the time the second month had passed? She was pregnant with his baby.
It wasn't that they weren't careful. They were. They used condoms every time, but even condoms aren't infallible, and they'd been full of youth and enthusiasm, and sometimes he stroked in her a few times before putting on a condom, just because it felt so damn good for both of them. Jonathan had approached sex with the same intensity that he approached life-he was voracious and insatiable.
She had to admit, staring down at his photo, that he'd pretty much ruined her for other men. No other sexual experience had even come close.
Which sucked.
At nineteen, she hadn't even been upset that she'd become pregnant. She was utterly in love with Jonathan, and mentally linking their last names together and picking out names for the baby. If it was a boy, she'd call it Theseus DeWitt-Lyons, and a girl would be Ariadne DeWitt-Lyons, based on the myths of the labyrinth of Crete. She'd dreamed of marrying Jonathan and returning stateside to finish her college education and raise her family. It was clear that her father looked at her not as a daughter but as just another student on his dig, and she craved a family-a real family. She'd never had a functioning family, and the dream of a happy home was an intoxicating one. Instead of fantasizing about archaeological finds, Violet's head was filled with nurseries and starter homes. A husband and a wife and a child that was doted on and adored by both parents.
That was her new dream, and she couldn't wait to get started with Jonathan.
But she didn't want Jonathan to marry her just for the baby. She wanted him to marry her because he loved her and because he wanted to marry her. That was part of the fantasy, after all. She'd seen what it was like, firsthand, when parents married for the baby instead of for love. His family had money, and she wanted it to be his idea for them to get married, not hers, or it'd seem like she was simply digging for his fortune. In reality, Violet didn't give two craps about whatever car empire the Lyons family had. Her perfect life involved a homey cottage somewhere, family dinners with both children and husband, and kissing her spouse as he went off to work for the day. Some women dreamed of careers; Violet dreamed of a nuclear, close-knit family. It was all she'd ever wanted after a childhood of her mother's depression and miserable hidden drinking binges, and her father's long absences. She just wanted to be surrounded by love.
She'd been such a naive idiot back then.
Irritated, Violet flipped to the next photo in her book. Another of Jonathan, their cheeks pressed together as they stood on the Santorini beach. She remembered that night. That was the night before everything changed. They'd had a weekend furlough, and they'd decided to spend it together. They'd enjoyed a romantic dinner and spent the night at a hotel in Fira, and in bed, Violet had confessed her hopes to him. That she wanted nothing more than to start a family.
"It's not a bad idea . . . for the future," Jonathan had told her absently, playing with her long hair.
That hadn't been what nineteen-year-old-and-pregnant Violet had wanted to hear. She'd turned to him in bed. "What are you going to do after we leave this dig? What happens to us?"
"What do you mean?" he'd asked.
She hadn't been happy that she had to spell it out. "When we leave here, what are your plans?"
He'd shrugged. "Go back to classes. Start the next semester. Wait for Dr. DeWitt's next invite."
That . . . hadn't been what she'd wanted to hear. "And what about me?"
He'd given her that heartbreaking smile. "In a few years, maybe we'll both be working at the same university."
In a few years? A few years? At nineteen, a few years seemed like a lifetime. "But . . . I want us to be together."
"I want that, too." He'd looked sad.
No, he wasn't getting it. She'd clutched at his arm. "I want us to be together when we leave here. I want us to start a family. Together." She'd emphasized the last two words, hoping he'd realize what she was asking for and jump in with enthusiasm.
Start a family with you, Violet? God, I want nothing more. Let's do it!
I'd love to have babies with you, Violet.
I never want to leave your side, Violet.
Instead, he'd just furrowed his brow at her as if she were saying ridiculous things. "Start a family? Now?"
"Yes, now."
He'd laughed. Laughed! And rattled off a million things he had going on. He needed to return to Dartmouth. He'd told Dr. DeWitt he wanted to go on his next dig, no questions asked. Then he had family members waiting for him to take an apprenticeship with his brother, the heir. It would be years before Jonathan could settle down and even think about family, and he was too young to consider it.