He didn’t.
“Then tell me what it is, please. Because I don’t pity you. Jesus, Bec, how could I? You’re the smartest, most determined woman I know. There’s nothing pitiable about you. Hell, Rebecca, there’s nothing you can’t do.”
“I don’t know, okay?” Don’t cry. Oh God, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. She found her key and unlocked the door to her car.
She sensed him move in closer. His chest pressed against her back, his scent engulfed her, and his cheek—oh God, that clean-shaven cheek she loved to touch—pressed against hers.
“Then let’s figure it out together,” he whispered.
I can’t. I’m afraid. “H-how? You’re leaving, remember?”
“I’ll stay.”
She closed her eyes against the welling tears. She knew he meant it. He would stay, and she wanted him to stay more than she wanted anything else in the world, but then she’d throw his staying into the pity bin—because she was that fucked up at the moment.
“You can’t. You’ve got the Grand acquisition to solidify.”
He turned her around gently. “Rebecca.”
If love had a sound, it was in the way he’d said her name, and dear Lord, she heard it loud and clear.
He ran a hand down her cheek and traced the line of her jaw with his finger. “You are more important than any business deal. You’ve opened something inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. And last night I felt like I’d been cut open, and the very thing that made me feel whole for the first time in my life was gone.”
She splayed her hands against his chest. He felt so good, safe, real. Whole. He felt whole. Was it only because she was there with him? She pressed her cheek to his chest and listened to the sound of his breathing, and she knew in an instant that he was telling the truth. He wasn’t whole. It was a facade. Something for the rest of the world to see.
Only he didn’t hide behind that charade for her.
Why couldn’t she give him the same truth?
Because I don’t know what I’m afraid of.
“Don’t stay, Pierce.” She swiped at her damp eyes and drew her shoulders back. Crying would only make him stay. He needed her to be strong, or he would give up the very thing he’d been working on for months. “Go make your business deal happen. I have to go to my doctor appointment tomorrow, and I’ll be here waiting when you get back. Hopefully with a clearer head.”
“Rebecca, what is it? Am I too much? Do I come on too strong? Do I represent something you don’t like?”
He searched her eyes, and she knew he wouldn’t find the answer he was looking for. How could he when she didn’t even know it?
“No, Pierce. You represent everything I strive to be. Successful, strong, confident.”
“Maybe it’s all too fast for you, and you don’t realize it.” He ran his hand through his hair and turned away. “Is that it? You were pretty honest with me at the beginning. You said you weren’t looking for a relationship, and I plowed my way into your life.”
Her mother’s words sailed through her mind and clung to her like a badge of courage. She’d heard her mother say it only once, in the days before she died, and she finally understood them.
“Love doesn’t need an invitation, Pierce.”
His gaze softened, and when he lowered his forehead to hers, she felt her walls come crumbling down.
“I’m trying to understand,” he said quietly. “Is there something more you’re not telling me? Because it sure feels like there’s more, and I feel like it’s control, but if you say it’s not, then I trust you. But if this…us…if we’re not right for you, you need to tell me, because nothing has ever felt more right in my life.”
“We are right.” The determination in her voice startled her. “We are. I know that in my heart, Pierce. We are right as rain. But…” She drew in a deep breath and clung to him again. “I’m scared, okay? Petrified, really. But I can’t talk about any of it, because I don’t understand it. You just have to trust that I can figure this out—that I will figure this out.”
He took a step back, taking the air from her lungs along with him.
He shifted his eyes away. When he finally met her gaze, the emotion in his eyes cut straight to her core.
“I trust you, Rebecca.”
It was exactly what she’d asked for, and it hurt like hell.
Chapter Twenty-Four
PIERCE SAT IN the back of the sedan watching the traffic roll by as the driver made his way through the streets of Los Angeles toward Jake’s house. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d fucked up things with Rebecca. Why couldn’t he keep his goddamn mouth shut? He’d known he’d push her away, and still he’d pressed for answers.
He pulled out his cell phone and considered calling her. She might get even more upset. He gazed out the window, aching to clear the air with Rebecca. He owed her an apology, and the longer he delayed it, the more it bored a hole in his gut.
He pressed her speed-dial number.
“Hey there. How’s sunny California?”
Her sweet voice brought a smile to his lips. “Hi, babe. Just like sunny Reno only without my favorite person.”
“You get brownie points for that one.”
He heard the smile in her voice, and it eased the tension that had tightened the muscles across his shoulders. “I wanted to apologize, Bec. I’m really sorry for pushing you this afternoon.”
“It’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not. My need for a resolution shouldn’t come before your need to figure things out on your own timetable. I’m sorry, Bec. I’ll try to be more respectful of your feelings.” Pierce didn’t care that the driver could hear every word he said. He only cared that he said them to Rebecca before it was too late.
“It’s okay. I know this is me, Pierce. It’s my issue, and it’s got to drive you batty. I know how crazy it is for me to tell you that I love you and then tell you that I still love you but need space. It makes me feel a little crazy in my own head.”
“You’re not crazy. You’ve been through so much that it’s crazy you can function at all.” He realized how true those words were. Her mother died almost two months ago. Two months. Why didn’t he slow down and think about that when he was with her? I was too busy trying to fix everything.
“I can handle it, Pierce.”
There it was. Determination and misinterpretation wrapped up in one single sentence. How could he make her understand? He rubbed his temples.
“Babe, I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I meant that you are amazing.”
“Oh.”
“We’re doing a lot of miscommunicating lately.”
“I think that’s my fault,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and maybe you’re right. Some of this has to do with control.”
“I don’t know if I’m right. I just know that I want to…” He stopped himself from saying, fix it. “I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Me too. Pierce, I’ll figure this all out. I know I will.” Her voice softened, and he pictured her fidgeting with a seam on her clothing, or gazing up at her mother’s picture, her eyes serious as she tried to work out whatever was going on in her mind.
He recognized the road that led up to Jake’s house and knew he had only a few minutes left to talk to Rebecca before seeing his brother. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“Just to rewind time about a million years.”
He smiled at that and wondered when she’d go back to. Before they met? When her mother was still alive? Before she got sick? Or did she mean before she was even born so she could really start over?
“If I had the power, I’d do it for you. I love you, babe.”
“I love you, too. Hey, Pierce?”
“Yeah?”
She was quiet for a long time. Pierce listened to the cadence of her breathing, a sound he’d come to know when she’d fallen asleep in his arms and in the wee hours of the morning before she awoke.
“I know I can handle anything, but I’m glad you’re sticking with me through this.”
“You don’t have to handle anything alone ever again.”
“Says the man who can handle anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I always thought that I could handle anything, but when you walked out the door last night, I realized how wrong I was.”
JAKE’S FIVE BEDROOM, Mediterranean-style home sat atop seven sprawling acres in the Hollywood Hills. Pierce was excited to see his brother, but as the driver pulled up in front of the house and parked behind one of Jake’s motorcycles, he got a funny feeling in his stomach. His and Jake’s good times had usually revolved around women, and he hadn’t taken that into account before nixing the idea of staying at one of his properties. Pierce stepped from the car and realized that he’d forgotten to call Jake and tell him he was coming. While the driver put his bags on the front porch, Pierce peered into Jake’s four-car garage. Every bay was occupied, and there was music coming from inside the house. At least his brother was home.