"Don't worry about the check," said Eric, practically reading my thoughts like he always used to. "It's my treat."
"No, no, that's all right," I said. "I'll pay for myself, thanks."
He raised his eyebrows a little, and I could tell he was taken aback. "Okay, all right. I'm just offering."
I sipped my drink. "So, where are you living now?"
He cleared his throat. "I've been around a little bit," he said. "I was in Scottsdale for a while, and then I stayed in Virginia for a little bit. Now I'm in Portland."
"Oh, so it wasn't too long of a trip here."
"Nope." He rotated his glass on the bar. "Not too bad at all."
Eric was the sort of guy who liked to settle down in one place and stay there for as long as possible. When we met, he'd lived in Framingham his whole life. I tried to picture him moving three times in two years, and came up blank.
"Look at you," I said, shooting him a smile for what might have been the first time that night. "Moving all over the country, hiking the canyons. You really have changed."
Shrugging, he stirred his new drink. "I told you," he said. "The whole situation really woke me up. I knew I had to make some changes."
He was talking about it like I'd been the one to break up with him.
"Sure," I said. "Same with me." It wasn't really true, was it? Well, I might not have changed outwardly that much, aside from working for a celebrity. And that didn't really have much to do with Eric. But inside, I was a completely different person.#p#分页标题#e#
Wasn't I?
There was a time when I would have said I'd never willingly sit in the same room as Eric, let alone go on a date with him. But just seeing his face was apparently enough to change my mind. What else might change, if I let myself spend any more time with him?
Come on, Jillian. Don't be cruel. He's apologized, he knows he did wrong. It's been two years. Give him a chance.
We chatted for a long time, about nothing, and I kept on nursing my drink and wondering what the hell I was doing. I wondered if Max knew, or suspected, who I was with - and if he was judging me.
He almost certainly was.
Suddenly, a shrill voice rang out through the restaurant.
"ERIC!"
I almost jumped out of my skin, and Eric did too. As we both whirled around on our stools, I saw a young woman stalking towards us from across the room.
Her face looked strangely familiar to me, in a way that I couldn't quite place, at least not consciously. But my stomach and my heart clenched simultaneously. As she drew closer, I realized where I'd seen her before.
In a little profile picture, on Eric's Facebook chat log.
My gaze shifted to the man himself, whose face had completely drained of all color. A moment later, his hands started shaking.
"What the hell, Eric?" She stopped inches from him, her mouth quivering with barely-suppressed rage. "What is this?"
He swallowed compulsively a few times. "I...you...Mindy, what are you..." His hands were shaking even harder now, just like they did back then. When it was me with my nostrils flaring, and tears streaming down my face, instead of her.
I wanted to cover my face and scream. I wanted to jump up and run out of the room. I wanted to burst into flames. But all I could do was sit still and watch this twisted version of my own past play out in front of me. Voices raised higher and higher, until people were staring, until a manager came and made us all leave. Looking back, I can't even remember if he asked me to leave specifically, if I was somehow a part of the ruckus without even realizing, or if I just followed them because I didn't know what else to do.
Out in the street, she kept on screaming. He didn't speak unless she asked him a direct question, and even then, his voice was quiet and trembling, and the only thing he said was "I don't know."
Over and over again. "I don't know. I don't know."
I gathered the story in bits and pieces - as if the details mattered. She thought he was on a business trip. They had been together this whole time. And me, stupid me, I'd never even considered the possibility that they'd still be a couple. Of all the questions I'd asked him during our long conversation, I'd never once thought to pose the question: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
And that was it. Even after the desperation faded, after I'd decided I would never take him back, I always thought he'd come crawling back to me. Single. Alone. Pathetic.
And it happened. Just not quite the way I'd imagined.
Mindy was still shrieking. "Her? HER? You're coming back to HER? You were miserable! You were suffocating! I MADE YOU HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE!"