He was standing very close to me, I realized, and we were alone in the kitchen. My tongue flicked out to wet my lips, and I could feel my pulse start to flutter.
Just then, he took a step closer. Slowly, almost as if he was testing my limits. I was up against the counter. There was nowhere else for me to go. His eyes were locked with mine, dark and growing darker, a smile still playing on his lips.
I was trapped. I couldn't move. And I didn't want to.
I took in a deep, shaky breath. The massive kitchen suddenly felt very small - too small to hold this moment, and everything unspoken that was hanging there, suspended in the tiny space between our bodies.
This is what he does. He breaks hearts.
But the look in his eyes, no, that wasn't the look of a man who ever wanted to break somebody's heart.
I felt like I was on the verge of shattering, bursting into a thousand pieces. The conflict, the confusion - it was too much. It was much too much. My resentment hadn't gone away. It was stronger than ever. But my feelings for Max were stronger still, and growing stronger with every moment while he was poised there, a breath away from kissing me.#p#分页标题#e#
All of a sudden, I couldn't bite my tongue anymore.
"Do you even remember?" I whispered. I did mean for it to come out full-volume, or at least half, but my voice wasn't cooperating.
He looked confused.
"Giovanni's," I clarified. "When you first came back to Boston. I made you salmon and spinach, and you practically..." His face was already falling, so there was no need to continue, but I did anyway. "...spat it out on my shoes."
He looked down at the floor for a moment. Swallowed. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. "Of course I remember," he said, his voice a little rough. "The look on your face, you think I could forget something like that?"
Was he trying to guilt-trip me? Oh, hell no.
"That bad, huh?" I said, my voice cold and brittle.
"I thought if you hadn't forgiven me by now, you never would have taken this job." He blinked a few times. "I...obviously I was wrong." He was pulling back, barely noticeably, but I could no longer feel the heat of his skin.
"I didn't really have a choice," I said, flatly. He'd pulled away completely now, turning back to his station and leaving me alone there, still pressed up against the counter.
I stayed there silently until he'd finished up, and was heading for the door. He stopped before he go there, turning around to look at me. My heart thumped like it wanted to jump free of my chest.
He was still smiling, a little, but there was something else in his face.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Jill."
***
After work, I went over to Shelly's to try and focus on anything but obsessive thoughts about me, and Max, and whatever the hell was happening between us. She was on a health food kick, preemptively trying to undo some of the damage of the upcoming holiday season, so we ate bite-sized vegetables and talked about nothing, while she occasionally broke off to yell at the Bachelor contestants on TV.
"So how's work going?" she asked me, after a while. "You seem a lot less...nervous breakdown-y."
I snorted. "Well, I guess that's one way to put it."
"I'm serious!" Shelly was gesturing emphatically with a carrot stick. "You and Chef Dylan must have come to some sort of understanding, or..." Her mouth dropped open. "Oh my God. Are you fucking him?"
My face colored bright red. "No!" I exclaimed, smacking her lightly on the arm.
"Ow! Asshole!" She recoiled, sucking air in through her teeth. "I just got my flu shot!"
"Well, then, don't insinuate that I'm sleeping my way to the top."
"I didn't say that." She rubbed her arm and winced. "I just thought maybe you found a non-verbal way to work out your disagreements."
"Of course not." Ugh. I was still blushing. "That sounds like a terrible idea."
"Does it?" She bit the tip off her carrot stick, and grinned. "If you can't beat 'em, beat 'em off - don't you dare!" She shrank away when I raised my hand, semi-threateningly. "Not on the puncture wound! If you absolutely need to smack me, at least let me give you my good side."
"You're such a child." I got up to get another drink.
"I'm the child? You're the one who won't solve your workplace problems with sex. That's the go-to solution for today's forward-thinking professional, haven't you heard?"
"You know Beautiful Bastard isn't a how-to book, right?"
She rolled her eyes at me. "I guess you would know, Miss Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens."#p#分页标题#e#