Romance Impossible(51)

When I got to the Trattoria, Max was already absorbed in some task. He didn't seem to notice I was there, until I was standing right next to him.#p#分页标题#e#

"You know how to throw pizza dough?"

By now, I was used to him greeting me with a question every day.

"Not...really," I said. "I mean, I could probably throw it, but the landing might run into some issues."

"Watch me," he said. "You'll learn. But for now we'll do it assembly-line. You handle the sauce and toppings."

He already had a ball of dough out on the counter.

"All right," I said.

"Big catering order," he added. I just nodded, unable to shake the feeling that I'd successfully passed some sort of test by never asking "why" until he was ready to tell me.

"Sounds like my kind of party," I said, mouth already watering at the thought of an endless supply of Max's pizzas. He didn't make them often, as they weren't a regular menu item, but they were honestly some of the best I'd ever eaten.

"Wedding," he said. "Second time, for both of them, which I assume explains why they've gotten the 'proper' formal stuff out of their systems by now, and they just want food they can actually enjoy. I hear the bride's wearing purple."

I laughed, although the thought of weddings still send a little twinge through my chest. Talk of catering and taffeta and flower arrangements never failed to remind me of the time I'd been planning my own "happily ever after," not too long ago.

Spoiler alert: the ending wasn't so happy, after all.

"They sound like fun," I said, wondering if he'd be able to detect the false cheerfulness in my voice. If he'd even care.

"It takes balls to break with tradition, on something like this especially," Max said. "I have to admire them."

"Hmm," I agreed. I'd been planning to wear red.

"Not much for weddings?" He glanced at me.

"I guess you could say that." I chopped some mushrooms vigorously. "Had a bad experience."

"Ah," said Max, quietly. "Well - I'll shut up, then."

He was true to his word, and I let a few minutes pass in silence.

"Five years," I heard myself blurt out, suddenly. Max glanced at me briefly, then back down at his dough. I cleared my throat. "I was with this guy Eric for five years, engaged for two," I clarified. "Midway through planning the wedding, I logged into his Facebook to find some contact information for a venue or something - he'd forgotten to send it to me so I figured what's the harm, right? I knew all his passwords and he knew mine. We were in it for the long haul. We didn't keep any secrets. And I saw he'd been messaging back and forth with a girl from work a lot, which I thought was weird. He'd only ever mentioned her in passing. I guess I don't even have to tell you what I saw when I started scrolling."

I paused, swallowed hard, and set down my knife. Even remembering it now, my heart started beating a little faster.

"Idiot," Maxwell said. He glanced at me again. "Him, of course. Not you."

A laugh bubbled up, and I was helpless to stop it. "Yeah," I said. "Right under my nose. I guess he thought I'd never look. And he could have been right, you know, I had no reason to check up on him. Never suspected a thing. He could have gotten away with it for our entire lives."

"Dodged a bullet." Max plopped a rolled-out dough in front of me.

"Yeah," I said. "Didn't feel like it at the time, though. Felt more like getting hit with a bullet-proof vest on." I ladled on some sauce and spread it around, carefully. "Bruised, maybe some broken ribs, but still alive."#p#分页标题#e#

"That's much more accurate," he agreed. My eyes flicked over to his workstation as I spread my slices of buffalo mozzarella, and I was briefly mesmerized by the muscles and tendons in his arms as he pressed down on the dough. There was a light dusting of flour on his forearms, where he'd rolled up his sleeves to work.

"The worst part," I said, adding the sausage slices, "is that even after everything, after he'd proven himself to be the exact opposite of who I thought he was - I was still convinced he'd come crawling back to me. I was so sure of it. I had my whole speech planned out, the one I'd give while he was lying on the floor, clinging to my ankle. But he never did. He left the day I found out, and I never heard from him again."

I paused, taking a long breath. I waited for Max to change the subject, or indicate that he was tired of hearing about my pathetic life, but he just looked at me expectantly.

"And that's the whole sad story," I said. "It was surreal. Like somebody slammed the brakes on my life and threw it into reverse. I had a whole ten-year plan mapped out, but it was all predicated on my relationship with Eric. He was my first boyfriend. I moved out of my college apartment and right in with him. For a while, I felt like I didn't even know how to be a grown-up without him."