Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(99)

I scowl at Dillon where he’s lounging on the patio of his swanky penthouse apartment, doubled over with laughter even as he shakes his head and studiously ignores my pout.

“But Dill, he’s gone all possessive psycho on me!”

“Which means he’ll cut my freaking balls off if I let you do this. Really Becky, just stop being so damned difficult and give the guy a chance. We both know you wouldn’t have married me anyway so you can’t use that as an excuse.”

“That’s not true!”

“We both know it is or you would never have called him to tell him Beck. You want him to father his chid and that’s totally understandable and right. You’re just scared of letting him back in there.”

What a freaking understatement.

“No, I just thought he had a right to know. Are you going to marry me or what asshole?”

I’m half kidding since I know I can’t in all good conscience go through with it. Not only because it would hurt that nut sac Devon but because about thirty seconds after agreeing to Dill’s hairbrained scheme I’d started thinking about how he’s shortchanging himself.

He deserves to find someone, or someone’s as the case may be who he will love and who will love him in return, wholly and completely, not as a friend.

So yeah, he’s right, we can’t do this but I’m taking an inordinate amount of pleasure out of knowing Devon Baxter is squirming and has no control over this situation.

As for marrying the man, that is a total hell no! I can see getting to know his family and sharing my baby with them, heck I love the shit out of just the thought of seeing the guy with his kid-oooh tingles-but as loath as I am to short change Dill I am even more loath to do it to myself.

And that’s exactly what will happen if I just give in to the man.I’m not one of those naïve girls-well not completely-and I know that love isn’t always on the cards. Some people get married in lust, some just want security and some have to get married because of little hiccups like the one I’m experiencing.

I’d much rather have my wedding be for the sake of something as crazy as being head over heels in lust with someone than to have to wake up every morning knowing the only reason I got a rock on my finger is because of the nugget taking up space in my uterus.

Call me nuts, but I want to be wanted for me and me alone.

“That would be a no. The only reason I taunted the guy was to show you how hot he is for you, lucky bitch. Now it’s time for you to put on your big girl bloomers and decide what to do from here. You either make a go of things with him-I choose that option by the way, that man is fine with a capital F-or you go home and start-”

“He’s probably called dad by now.” I pout, swirling my lemonade around in my glass. “If I step foot out of your place they’ll be on me like white on rice. And dad still doesn’t know about my job or that I’m quitting my studies.”

Yeah, that is so going to be a fun conversation coupled with the fact that his unwed daughter got herself knocked up. Not.

“Becky, what is it you want? What is it you feel?” he asks when the silence stretches with nothing but my sighs to fill the air space.

“I want to be happy, for once in my freaking life, that’s all.. I spent college in my dorm room and the lecture halls. I spent three years working at something I hate and studying for something I hate even more and now…can we just play the engagement out till I have everything squared away?” I beg, not caring that I sound desperate and pitiful.

Dill sighs and runs a hand through his blonde locks, his expression so serious all of a sudden that I pause and raise my brows in question.

“The thing is that I really like you Becky, a lot. While we aren’t ripping each other’s clothes off with lust I am also not averse to doing you in any position my kinky mind can conjure. Marrying you won’t be a hardship and I certainly wouldn’t mind taking advantage of your vulnerability right now to do it. But you have to decide what you want first. So let’s leave this thing standing but I want you to at least go talk to Devon before we make definite plans.”

“Huh?”

He laughs and I feel my cheeks redden even as a giggle tries to bubble forth.

“Hell yeah Slade, you’re like bueno hot baby and very do-able. Plus, if my parents get wind of this…explaining shit might make things harder for me than they already are. So go, talk to your guy and if you can’t bring yourself to walk that path I’ll be here. Your very own sacrificial lamb, waiting to sex you up. Hey, is it true pregnant chicks get super frisky?”

“Oh shut up!” I laugh, throwing a potato chip at his head.