Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(89)
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, I do. I know what it’s like to want something and convince myself I can’t have it. Don’t need it. Unlike you, I don’t have a choice but to keep fooling myself, because I can’t, literally can’t have it. You can, you just won’t try.”
Logan glares down at me and firms his lips, and I have to fight back tears that he cares so little he isn’t bothered to ask what it is that I want. Before, he would have demanded an answer and moved heaven and earth to give me what I need. Now he can’t even force himself to respond.
“You won’t even ask?”
“Not my business.” He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Screw you, big brother.”
I leave him standing there, as alone as he wants to be, and go find Mama, needing her like I have since I was little. Her kisses still had the power to fix my booboos.
“He’s leaving in a few minutes,” Mama says sadly, looking over at him with a tear-filled smile. “Used to be he’d follow you around like a shadow.”
“Yeah, and now he won’t even spit on me if he can help it.”
“Ladies,” I hear from the left, and groan when Devon leans down and grins at Mama. “May I steal your lovely daughter for a dance?”
“Go on then. I need to find my guy and twist his arm into dancing with me.”
Mama walks away with a grin and a wave, leaving me alone with Devon and my still roiling emotions. I don’t need this right now. I’m too torn up about everything, and I’m not in the right place to play battle of the one night stand with him.
“Go away. I’m not interested.”
“Yes you are. Come on, imp, dance with me before I have to leave. Please?”
I go, because I can’t help myself. He pulls me into his arms and leads me, keeping me close, his face close to mine as he looks down at me, his eyes serious, not at all his playful, snarky self.
“I’m sorry I left you alone,” he whispers into my hair. “Even I’m not that crass. I got a call and I had to take it. I’m sorry.”
I shrug and stare over his shoulder, forcing myself to smile at Grey as they twirl past and then at Matt when he wiggles by doing some crazy dance move that lacks rhythm but is made up for in gusto.
“Imp.”
“It’s fine. We had a one night stand and good sex. Now I can move on, and maybe flirt a little and not be too self-conscious about my fat ass. It’s all good.”
“Don’t do that. You’re beautiful,” he snarls, tipping my chin up and looking deeply into my eyes.
“Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Can you maybe try not to talk to me so much? You’re making me feel—”
“We were supposed to spend the rest of the week together, and you’ve been avoiding me like the bloody plague.”
“I got a new roomie, and while she may be deaf as a post, she’s not blind or stupid. Having sex with her in the same bed would have been tricky,” I grump, trying to put some space between our bodies and failing when he only pulls me closer.
“You could have come to my room, you know.”
“Uh, not on your life, player. I do not do the walk of shame.”
That startles him, and this time he’s the one pushing me away, his eyes stark.
“You feel shamed by what we did?”
Aw, cripes. That came out totally wrong, something I don’t feel and never want another person to feel. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t want him to feel just a little shitty for skipping out on me and then trying to use a lame ass excuse to make me feel better about it.
“No, but I also didn’t—don’t want to cheapen what it meant to me by creeping out of your hotel room at five am because we’re done having sex and you can’t deal with cuddling. You wanted me, and you got what you wanted. That’s done. Now you’re going back to your life and I’m going back to mine. End of story.”
The story sucks, and I want so much to have a chance at a rewrite, but since it’s not gonna happen I at least want it to end with some of my pride intact and him not knowing how I went and started feeling more for him than is smart.
“Imp.”
“It’s okay, Devon. It’s not like we made any promises to each other, you know.”
He sighs and nods, and I swear I see some regret there before his face goes blank and he gives me an empty smile that makes my heart hurt.
“It was good though. So good.”
“Yeah.”
“I wish—”
“Your brother broke his arm?” I interrupt, not needing another round of disappointment to go with the boatload I’ve had for the night.