Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(63)

“I love you.”

I hear him yelling, feel him shaking me when I lose the fight with consciousness and slip into the void, praying that I’ll be okay, that I’ll see my terribles and give each of them the names I’ve picked out.





Chapter Thirty Six




Luc

As one hour bleeds into another and I pace the hall outside the OR, I feel everything within me freeze. I’m almost numb now and welcome the void with a desperation I’ve not felt in the months since claiming my family.

I can’t cry, can’t rage, can’t do anything but pace and worry as they work on my love, fighting not only to save her but my children as well. I can’t say I feel any less pain at the thought of losing even one of them, but I know if she doesn’t come through this, nothing will save me from the brink, from tumbling down the precipice of pure madness I now stand on.

“Luc. Hey, man, have you heard anything?”

I hear the question a second before a ball of sobbing fire launches herself into my arms and clings, crying so loudly it’s all I have in me to embrace her back instead of flinging her away.

I don’t need this shit now. Not when all I can think about is the way love had said my name and smiled at me while she told me she loves me.

Should have bloody said it back, you stupid arse.

But I couldn’t. It had been almost impossible to speak through the fear choking me, and I absolutely refuse to tell my girl I love her for the first time because of my fear that she won’t be coming out of this in one piece.

I want to do it in a moment where I can look into her blissfully happy eyes and say it with enough feeling that she’ll believe me and never doubt my love.

“Not yet, but they’ve been in there a while, so we should hear something soon. Shh, it’s okay, Cammy bear. She’s going to be just fine,” I murmur soothingly, willing myself to believe it before I lose my shit and start tearing this place apart.

Another ten minutes pass before a nurse comes out, her expression tired but happy as she stops and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Your sons and daughter were born an hour ago and are being transferred to NICU as we speak. I’ll take you in in just a moment to meet them.”

The words make me smile a bit before I realize she hasn’t said—

“And Mrs Jasper is just fine. The doc got in there and stopped the bleeding. We’re just waiting for her BP to stabilize before transferring her from post op. Congratulations, sir.”

My knees give out and dump me on my arse before she’s even done, and I’m laughing and squeezing Cammy so hard she lets out a squeak before hugging me back and high fiving the universe.

“Oh God, Luc, did you hear that? They’re all fine!” she trills, standing to throw herself at Brody. “I’m an aunt, bro, did you hear? They’re all just fine!” she squeals, laughing and crying at the same time, obviously as overwhelmed by the good news as I am.

“Congrats, dude,” I hear through the fog as Brody claps me on the back and hauls me to my feet, his arms wrapping around me to hold me up.

I feel as if I’ve run a bloody marathon through hell and come out the other side, exhausted but victorious.

“Go on, man. Go see the little tykes,” Brody urges, shoving me toward the still beaming nurse. “And take pictures, dude. I want to see my namesakes!”

I feel like I’m walking in a dream the whole way to the small, isolated NICU, where the triplets are. After getting on the full robes, mask, cap, and gloves, she leads me into a section where three incubators stand, each one holding the tiniest being I’ve ever seen.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I see them, their heads turned to face each other, though they can’t see with their little eyes closed and all the tubes and wires coming out of them.

Anyone else would say they look like tiny little aliens, but I think they’re the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen.

The little girl moves slightly and stretches out a hand toward me, almost as if she senses me there and wants her dad, and I feel my heart kick so fiercely with love it hurts.

She looks like a little gem, my very own tiny thing, no bigger than my hand.

“Hello, my little jewel. Daddy’s here.”

I spend the next few minutes alternately looking at all three and getting them acquainted with my voice, telling them that I will protect them at all costs and that they’d better move on and get better so Mummy and I can take them to meet their brother and sister.

By the time I’m done, the nurses are starry-eyed, and there’s not a dry eye in the house.

“I’d like to see my wife now.”

***

Ash

Everything hurts. That’s the first thing I notice when I come out of it and feel my body roar back to screaming life. And then I realize that dead people don’t feel pain, and that makes my eyes pop open and my hands go for my belly.