Roman-2(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(115)

That leaves the house empty but for Devon who I know is sitting at his desk right now on a conference call to his UK offices.

I’m nervous, like shitting pellets nervous, as I let myself in and press an ear to his door. The low drone of voices tells me he’s nowhere near done with his call so I make my way to the kitchen and scan the refrigerator, deciding to make some sandwiches before I head in there and totally strip myself bare.

“Ham on rye?”

I squeak and jump when a pair of muscular arms surround me from behind and weak fool that I am I relax back into him and close my eyes, soaking up his heat and comfort like a starving puppy.

“Hhhmm, thought you could use something light after your calls.” I murmur, pulling away to seat myself at the table. I’m so big-yeah, the baby is gonna be a house like his dad and uncles-that I feel like a T-Rex trying to get at my food, it’s so far away thanks to my belly.

“This is good babe.” He says around a mouthful. “What did you do today?”

“I went to visit Dill.”

That gets an immediate response and I see his sandwich drop back to the plate and feel the silence lengthen before steeling myself and looking back up at him.

Devon hates Dillon so I usually don’t tell him when we get together for coffee of just a hang out session. Usually. Today however I’m going for full disclosure so…

“I don’t want you seeing him Rebecca. At all.” He finally says and from that coldness I see in his eyes-the mention of my name too-I know he’s not kidding.

“Dillon is my friend.”

“Afriend who wants more than just friendship!”

“Like you?” I yell back, reaching the end of my tether. “We’re friends aren’t we?” I screech, curling my fingers around the words, letting him know how scornful I am of the term.

“Because you set the parameters! You wanted to be roomies. You wanted to be friends with fucking benefits! I bloody proposed to you!”

Hoo boy, he’s angry now.

“What’s more I basically had to trick you into staying in our bed after we made love. I give you everything you need imp, everything I could possibly think you need, space, fuck; you don’t even let me hold you at night! What more do you want from me!”

Taking a deep breath because I feel so choked by his snarled confessions that it’s hard to breathe, I force myself to hold his eyes and say the only thing I can. Jesus I hope Dill is right on this one because ripping my barriers down is not easy for me.

“I want you to love me.” I whisper after a beat, blinking once only to keep our eyes locked. “I want you to love me the way I love you or I…I have to leave. Living with you and the boys is great and I love having all the energy and affection that you guys share. It’s like walking into the candy store and having no limits, but it’s hard to keep up when I feel like I’m allowed to eat everything but the peanut butter cups.”

Stop rambling Becky!

“I love you. I think my feelings went from girlhood crush to full on love when I brained Lila’s mom and you laughed and pulled me to safety. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t. And yeah, I’ve been a total bitch because you hurt my feelings when you just left without saying anything the next morning.

“So here’s the thing. I want you to feel more for me, no I need for you to feel more, but if you don’t, you need to tell me now so I can get it in my head that we’re friends and soon to be co-parents. Only. I can’t keep fooling myself that less is enough and I don’t want to force you to have to say anything you don’t feel. And-”

“Shut up imp.” He finally whispers, cutting off my flow.

When I finally refocus on his face I see that he’s smiling and reaching for me and I go willingly, wrapping myself around him as he pulls me into his lap.

“Of course I bloody love you woman! I went without sex for months just waiting for you to finally want me. And honestly, what’s not to love? You’re sexy, smart, funny and you fit in with my lads like you were made for us.” He growls, cupping my jaw and turning my face up for a gentle kiss.

“No-”

“Yes.” He whispers against my lips, blending his breath with mine. “You’re fucking perfect.”

And just like that my world, no my universe has new possibility and meaning. You’d think I would have locked on to the ‘I love you’ like a fish to water but it’s the conviction in his eyes and the reverent kisses against my trembling lips as he calls me perfect that seals the deal and makes my heart start beating again.

With tears threatening I do the one thing every feminist on the planet will orgasm over.