It doesn’t bug me that her jeans have elastic waists but what does make my balls shrivel are the scathing threats she’d thrown my way before stomping out of the door and huffing her way to Lila’s Mercedes.
She’s gone mental since her bump started expanding and no amount of compliments from me or the lads, not to mention my growing obsession with touching her and or, but mostly and, seeing her naked, will convince the chit that she’s one sexy waddling mama.
“Bleeding Christ, I’m not sticking around for that tirade, thanks much. Remember when her AC/DC t-shirt wouldn’t fit? You lads want to go check out that new film in town?”
“Wait! No, don’t you bloody cowards leave me alone with her!” I yell, rolling my eyes when they scramble up and out, slamming the door a second later.
Imp’s been…aggressive lately and to tell the truth as much as I adore the woman even I’m getting small balls from shrinking away when she goes on a hormonal rampage.
Yesterday she’d gone mental about Davy eating the last pickles and tuna. Long story short, never let the grocery cupboard go unstocked when a crazy, cravings driven pregnant female is in the house.
It’s like coating yourself in honey and prostrating yourself before a raging grizzly bear. The chances of getting out alive are slim and I have the blistered ears to prove it.
Finishing off the stew, I set the temperature low just as the front door slams shut and a stomping whirlwind comes storming in, her arms loaded down with enough gear to cover the table.
“What’s that smell? Did you cook? Good Lord please tell me it’s ready. Remind me never to go shopping with Lila again; the woman is diabolical when it comes to spending money. Do you want some? Here, I’ll fix you a plate. Mama called today and said my dad wants to see us but I told her I have to talk to you about it and then Grey called and said him and Logan want to see us and then-”
“Slow down woman! One thing at a time, the most important being where you stashed imp and is she okay?” I mutter, manoeuvring her to a seat and getting down plates and glasses.
By the time I’m seated and ready to dig in she’s gone quiet and dreamy and is looking at me with an expression my nuts want to jump at but don’t quite trust.
“Hey Dev?”
“Yes imp?” I ask around a mouthful of savoury stew and fresh bread.
“Are you still angry at me for what I said to dad?”
The question throws me for a loop and I choke on my food, wheezing through a cough that is definitely the result of a carrot lodging in my lung.
“What…are you talking about imp?” I wheeze again, gulping down a mouthful of water as she stairs up at me, her eyes shining and so vulnerable I have to struggle not to grab her to my chest and squeeze the life out of her.
“Well, I kinda figured you must be real pissed about me saying all those things to dad since you almost crushed my fingers and haven’t said very much to me in like two months. And I totally get how me saying that we’re like in love would make you uncomfortable, but there’s no way any of them would have let this go unless I lied a little and then-”
She pauses to take a much needed breath and I hold up a hand feeling every ounce of joy that her words had brought drain away.
“First off I am not, and have never been, upset with you about the things you said imp. I liked hearing that you chose me and the lads over your own family. I liked the way you took up for me even though you don’t want me. I guess I’ve just been trying to give you time and I feel guilty about your losing your parents because of me.”
And now I feel like shit because you feel nothing for me and for a second there I’d been so elated. While I haven’t allowed myself to think much about what she’d said to her father I’ve secretly been carrying a hope torch that her words had held some truth.
Bloody fool.
“Really? That’s great! Er, and you’re wrong you know.” She says, ducking her head with a blush. “I do want you, especially now with the nympho hormones raging through my poor body, but the point is, I think we need to start communicating about what we’re doing here because it’s getting really hard for me to keep things friendly when you walk around the house in shorts and nothing else and all that man skin on display.”
I choke on my spit and stifle a laugh when she rolls her eyes to the ceiling and shakes her head in some silent divine communication before looking me dead in the eye and pursing her lips.
“I think if we can’t go for a loving, committed relationship, we should be friends with benefits.”
Oh how my patience has paid off.
“Let me get this straight, you want to use me for sex because your pregnancy is causing a…lust that you’re finding hard to contain?” I ask, keeping my face straight though what I really want to do is laugh before ripping her clothes off and showing her what I’ve been saving for months.