“Mama, I need to talk to him. And you. So get your skinny butt in there with me please.”
She takes my tone well, though I know she can see my shame as we make our way to the office and I knock once, pushing the door open with a swallow of bile that threatens to have me heaving before the words can spill free.
“Beck? What you doing here girl?”
Everything. Nothing. Maybe stealing myself to get my heart ripped out, but I have to do it and be a grown up for once instead of allowing my family to coddle me while I live out an existence I never wanted. Devon was right all those weeks ago; I have to let go and it has to start here, with dad and his too high expectations.
“I need to talk to you and mama about…about what’s going on with my life.” I say softly, sitting at the edge of the seat in front of his desk.
“Grey already called me about you quitting that job with Abi. Don’t worry sugar I’ll call Judge Flynn and get you in there while you’re-”
“No.”
Oh hell.
“I don’t want a job at JudgeFlynn’s and I don’t want-”
“He’s the best judge in the state and he’s got a list a mile long of interns waiting-”
“I don’t want a job at his offices because I’m quitting law dad!” I yell, wringing my hands when his jaw drops and he focuses on me, really focuses.
“Come again.”
Oh glory be, this is not how I wanted things to be but if I’m honest it’s exactly how I suspected they would be. Logan hadn’t fared any better so how could I imagine-
“Bullshit! You spent six years of your life working toward this goal. You’ve always wanted-”
“No dad, you wanted this not me. I just didn’t have the guts to tell you before now.” I whisper, feeling tears coat my eyes when he takes a deep breath and his face closes, the mask firmly in place.
It’s strange and so totally heart-breaking when he looks down his nose at me and gives me the very same stare he’d given Lo, the same stare that says he no longer considers me part of his fold unless I buckle under and conform.
“Reconsider Rebecca, please or I will be forced to-”
“Measure your words old man or you will never see her again.”
Gasping I twist my head and see Devon leaning casually against the door frame, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. To anyone who doesn’t know him he looks relaxed and bored but I see the fire banked in those eyes and I know that if not for the presence of my mama and me Devon would revert to the ruthless shark Grey has called him on many an occasion.
“Look here boy, who do you think you are coming in her and telling me how to speak to my girl?”
“That’s just the thing ain’t it mate? She isn’t yours anymore, she’s mine and I won’t have you upsetting her.” He drawls softly, ambling over to run a hand through my hair, stopping to clasp my nape and lend me some of his strength.
“Yours? Not fucking hardly! My daughter knows better than to shack up with an English social climber like you. What? You think I don’t know how you used my boy to get your hands in a few pies this side of the ocean? I know everything that happens with my children and I know exactly how the two of you have been conducting business all these years.”
Oookay.
“You come from nothing, just like your parents and you think-”
“He doesn’t think dad, he knows.” I say, standing to my feet with a strength born of pure rage and disgust.
My dad is not this asshole he’s trying to be and we all know it. Something is most definitely up with him, something I need to know but for right now I have to let it go and do what I came here to do. And I need to make one thing very clear.
Not just to him but Devon as well because though he’s keeping things together nicely I can see the hurt lurking in his eyes at dad’s words.
“I’ve been with Devon for months now dad. We’re in love. We’re…going to have a bay.” I say, swallowing loudly when I feel him tense beneath the hand I lay on his chest. “I’d really like for you to be a part of our lives but if you can’t accept what I want, if you can’t accept him and his family, I’m sorry.” I say, my voice trembling at the end. “They’re my family.”
I don’t cry when he looks at me with disappointment. I don’t cry when Devon takes my hand and leads me out of the house and to his car. I don’t cry when mama stops at the door and watches us leave without a word.
“Imp.”
“Not now. Please.” I beg, staring sightlessly out of the window as the view rushes by, my heart breaking a little more with every mile. “Something’s up with them, something iffy and I need to know what it is before I let my hurt feelings take over and I say some things that I can’t take back. Call Grey.”