Davy chuckles and skips to the door, his smile sardonic as he eyes the pillow and shakes his head.
“You are so screwed old man. So screwed.”
***
I walk into the kitchen the next morning to the sound of giggling and male teasing and feel my already volatile mood take a dip for the worst when I see imp laughing hysterically at Garret while Ryan sits back and smiles, his eyes glued to my girl.
Jealousy hits me hard and fierce and it takes a fucking lot of effort not to walk in swinging and instead move to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup before taking a seat at the head of the table.
I’m irritable thanks to a long night of no sleep because just the thought of her being a wall away from me had me hard as rock and nowhere to go with it. At one point I’d found myself at her door, ready to barge in there and say to hell with whatever nonsense deal we’d made. I’d been a breath away from storming in and falling on her like a beast when three doors had opened silently and my brothers had looked out, stern and implacable and pointed me back to my own room.
Bloody traitorous mother hens.
“You alright old chap?” Davy grins at me and I grind my jaw to keep silent.
“You’re looking tired. Age catching up with you?”
“Or maybe someone spent half the night in the bathroom, in pain.” Garret says pityingly. “You quite alright old man?”
That catches imps attention and her eyes zoom my way, their focus so intent I find myself squirming beneath a blush. Bloody bastards are intimating I was in the bathroom rubbing things out while in fact-
“Are you sick?”
I shake my head no and glare at the little buggers, daring them to say another word. I should know bloody better.
“Well, it was either the green apple nasties or holding the sausage hostage.” Davy points out reasonably, though I see the little upstart biting his cheeks to keep from laughing outright.
Imp meanwhile is gazing at them like they’re idiots before turning to me with an expression of deep concern.
“Logan ate some bad Thai food once and spent the night on the toilet while his head was in a bucket. It came out both ends and I swear he lost three pounds before the sun came up. Do you have cramps? You need fluids if you lost a lot last night.”
That sets up a round of cackling that has my teeth on edge before the little dear comes back with a bottle of water, salt and sugar.
“I’m gonna make you some electrolytes so you can replace what you lost.”
“Yeah, we don’t want the old bag empty do we mate.” Ryan tosses out on a wheeze.
“Stop being so insensitive you jerks! Puking is horrible. Are you gonna laugh at me when I look like this in the mornings! Shut up right now!” she hisses, gently petting my brow after giving me a truly horrid concoction to swallow down.
I manage half before my empty stomach revolts but force myself to finish when she smiles sweetly at me and continues to rub her fingers through my hair.
“There now, you’ll feel all better. You should go lie down for a while and I’ll come and check on you.” She croons, petting my head before shooing me away to rest.
I pause and lean against the wall that leads to the stairs, ignoring my stomach as it whines for food and hear the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard; my imp laying into the three buggers.
“That was awful! How could you try to embarrass him that way?”
“But hun, we never said he had the trots-”
“No, you were inferring that he spent all night rubbing one out!” she yells and things go so quiet I hear her breathe. “What you think I’m too naïve to know what Holding the sausage hostage means? I went to college and my roommate was an exchange student from Bristol! I know more indecent slang than you think.”
I almost choke on my tongue when she starts listing them and then I have to bite my lip when I peak around the corner and see three very red faces looking back at her in horror.
“Let’s see. Buffing the banana, Jackin’ the beanstalk, spank the frank and then one of my personal favourites tickling the pickle.” She says, ticking off each with a finger. “You think anyone’s naïve enough not to get ‘holding the sausage hostage’? Puleeze you wanker, I was learning this shit while you were still growing your apples! Now eat your breakfast and get ready for school.”
I forego breakfast and make my way upstairs with a smile because my imp, my girl, has just defended me to those tossers and that can only mean one thing; I have a bloody fighting chance and I think I’ll take it thank you very much.
***
Becky
It’s so hard not to laugh at the looks of horror as all three lads, and by ‘lads’ I mean three huge, strapping lady killers, look at me, their mouths hanging open in shock.