We laugh and I relax back into the lounger beneath me, but the pose is a mockery of what I truly feel inside. Inside I am tense and scared and a little empty at what I’ve done.
I snuck away like a thief, a coward and now I have to find him and…and I’m not sure that if I see him again that everything will okay, because the truth is that I have more than the hots for my baby daddy and I am terrified that if he tries hard enough, I’ll take whatever crumbs he’s willing to throw my way.
I don’t want crumbs, I want the whole loaf and a side order of cupcakes.
Greedy.
Chapter Sixteen
Dev
I want to howl in frustration, break something, tear something, someone apart with my hands. I want to drop to my knees and rip my hair out. I want…I want imp.
That’s all. But I can’t have her, not yet and the thought, the need for her is so intense I can hardly breathe for it.
“Cheer up old man, she’ll come ‘round.”
“Yeah, but if she don’t you can always do what dad did to mum and carry her off till she admits she wants you.” Garret says seriously and I smile for the first time since she ran and left me with three very obnoxious gits.
I smile because the story of how dad got mum is no lie. He’d seen her, wanted her and determined to have her. When she’d run, as most women are won’t to do when they’re the target of a very serious, commitment minded bloke, dad had snatched her and holed up with her in a hotel room till she’d admitted to loving him back.
I don’t tend to think about what they did in that room since they’re my parents but the possibilities, yeah, I really like having an option when it comes to my imp.
“Or I could just go and blab to her mum and have this sorted by nightfall.”
That earns me three stinking looks and a bread roll to the head from Ryan.
“Yeah, nothing makes a bird hot like having you tattle on her to her mum” Davy says, rolling his eyes. “Nah mate, just use what little charm ya have on her. Hell, that will never work. Tell us what you did and we’ll come up with a full-”
“I’m not helping him with shite if he’s only doing this to get his hands on the babe. She’s a good lass that one.”
I nod and toss the roll back at Ry.
“I want her, a lot. I want to love her too, but…I’m not there. Yet.”
I have never been dishonest with them, never, so I figure telling them the truth now will either have them against me or working that much harder to help me. I’m hoping they go with the latter since four Baxter men should just about do the trick in charming my imp’s socks off.
“Right then. Davy lad, you go ring the lass up and get her over here while Garret and I do this tosser a favour by teaching him how to talk to a girl. Bleeding older generation has no clue.”
I spend the next hour listening to and taking insult after insult as the bastards rib the hell out of me and teach me exactly the opposite of what I would ever consider doing with a mature woman.
“No. Imp is a woman not some teenage girl looking for a hook up with the Rugby team, she’s a woman and, and-”
“And women are simple, wonderful creatures Dev. All it takes to make one happy is honesty, fidelity and love. That’s it.” Ryan murmurs softly, his eyes locked on some unseen point. “Dad told me that the year I cried because Annie Roland dumped me. I’d texted another girl and she found out and dumped me. When I whined about it he said ‘women are gifts lad. You cherish what you have and show them honesty, respect and love and they’ll give you everything in return’.”
The silence that follows is profound, filled with emotions and the memory of the man who’d taught us all to be men. Good men.
“He was a good father, he raised good men.”
“He raised one good man and laid the ground work mate. You raised three good men and don’t ever forget it. Now listen, you have one shot here and while we love you I agree with Gar; don’t go after Becky just because of what you want, you have to promise that you’re taking her because you’ll give her what a real man can.”
That’s the real question then isn’t it, will I love imp? I can honestly say I will give it everything within me to trust enough to give her love but I can’t promise it, not even to myself.
But if there’s one thing I know it’s that my brethren will not allow me to hurt a woman they consider theirs. There is where the loyalty ends. Baxter men defend the weaker sex. Always. So I have to be somewhat creative in the way I answer lest they go nuclear and threaten me with bodily harm.
Seems that one irate snarl from imp has stolen their hearts and they’re as caught in her spell as I am. Bleeding ninnies.