Roman-1(Lane Brothers, Book 5)(171)

Asked…I snort at the lie. He’d told me, just as he tells me everything else.

“He proposed?” she says slowly, and I see the utter confusion she’s trying to hide. “I…is that a bad thing? I mean, I don’t like the guy, but…I thought you loved him?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

“Then why are you leaving? Where—”

“I can’t do this, Chris. He wants marriage and kids and…everything I have to give him. Without giving anything in return. I love him, endlessly, but he doesn’t love me back, and what’s more…I don’t think he ever will, because he doesn’t want to.”

That’s what I’m struggling with. He is capable of love, he’s shown me, told me that he loves Selena, and I’d heard him talking to his mother once or twice. He’s so warm and open with them, but when it comes to me he shows me only what he deems fit for our relationship, which isn’t much other than sex and a little companionship.

I’ve been fooling myself that the charming man who’d taken me to that Italian bistro, the one who’d romanced me, exists. Now I know all I can expect is the man who’d seduced me in the front seat of his car and put his mark on me.

I’ve been in one failed marriage, and no matter how much I want him, I won’t push myself into another one.

“Shit. Can’t you just tell him to get lost? You have a job and—”

“I quit, remember? The only option I have on that front is going back to work for him. I can’t do that and keep myself from caving. You know him; he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. If I stay, he’ll have me. Eventually. I need…some time.”

Just a little time to get the maelstrom of confusion sorted in my head. Just enough that if he still wants me, I can go back to him without this hole in my chest.

“Dammit.” She sighs, and I see the fight leave her in a rush when she slumps into the chair in the corner and purses her lips. “I have a place in the Vineyard. It’s nothing special, but it’s clean and dry and rent-free. Go there for a few weeks and get your head on straight. But then you’re coming back, Han,” she warns. “You can’t run from your problems and expect them to just disappear.”

No, I know that. Gregory is not a man who’ll take anything like this lightly, and I know he’ll catch up with me eventually, but like I said, a little time is all I need.

“I’ll keep the fort down here and get Nana to her doctors’ appointments—”

“No. I’ll take her with me.”

The look she gives me is sardonic, and I feel my cheeks heat. She knows me so well, something I have only recently realized. I want to run and run and never look back.

This is so not me. I’m a self-controlled person. I face my problems and fix them. I do not bury my head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong.

The fact that I want to do this now just goes to show how far down I’ve fallen. Another indication is that I’m even contemplating taking Nana away, knowing how important her appointments are to her recovery.

“She’s staying here with me and whatever nurse your boyfriend sends over to keep tabs on everything. Now go pack a bag, and let’s get you on your way. That faster you get yourself sorted out, the faster you can come back and fix shit. Oh, and Han? As much as I hate to say this, are you totally sure Gregory doesn’t love you? No man goes to these lengths—”

“I know. He’s just about told me so.”

She sighs loudly and leaves me to my packing, something that’s really hard because I’m sniffling the whole time. I don’t want to leave. I want to stay and march up to him and demand everything I want.

But begging for love is not something I’m willing to do, so I’ll just have to hope Greg finds the emotion, or I find a way to accept what is.





Chapter Twenty Eight




Martha’s Vineyard is exactly as peaceful and scenic as I’ve always thought. I wish Nana had come along to see the picturesque village and the ‘little place’ Chris has out here.

When I go back she and I are having a long talk. I’d thought she was a struggling pleb like me, when it turns out she must have some sort of money. Or come from it.

Her house has four bedrooms and a pool bigger than the apartment. And a caretaker named Henry who looks after the place or Miss Christina.

Definitely money.

I’ve been here two days, and I feel fantastic. I’ve slept so much I feel weird being this rested. Another thing is that I haven’t touched a scrub brush or bleach.

Strange, considering the emotional turmoil I feel, but…for the first time in six years I feel free. No responsibilities. No worrying about my job or Amber or the downward spiral Nana is going into.