He doesn’t need to know anything about the fact that I’m not mad or angry or anything that would be much of a threat to him. At least, I’m not angry at him. I am pissed at myself for wanting to cry and bawl like a big cry baby.
Now it’s seven, and I’m in his car, headed for his ‘apartment’. I say it that way because what he considers a little place in the city is probably big enough to fit my entire childhood home. With room to spare.
We’re headed there, and I know he wants to talk more than he wants sex — I’m waiting for the sky to fall because of that one — and the truth is, I am incapable of saying anything that won’t humiliate me.
Do I love Gregory Lucas? No. It’s way too early to even consider anything of the sort, but I like him, a lot, and I don’t want him to know it.
He sighs at my continued silence and steers the car into an underground structure that just happens to be valet. When I scramble out instead of waiting, he scowls and grabs my elbow impatiently, steering me toward the elevator.
“You have to talk to me, babe,” he says softly when the doors close, leaving us alone. “Come on, darlin’, scream at me, hit me, do something!”
I wait until we’ve gotten off and he’s let me into a huge apartment that, yup, is decorated to perfection, before facing him to drill a finger into his chest.
“You wanna know what I hate more than lying to that woman?” I ask, digging my finger into his pectoral. “Lying to myself. I spent over an hour convincing myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. I spoke to her like we were best friends and watched her try on wedding dresses, and when she couldn’t choose a favorite, I told her which one to take!”
Shit. Now Selena Jeffries is going walk down the aisle in my dream dress and marry the man I’ve fallen in lust with.
“You chose the dress?” he asks. “The one you like?”
I roll my eyes and shove at him, taking delight in the fact that he stumbles back slightly.
“Yup. And you wanna know what she said?” I ask, not letting him answer. “She said it was perfect and that she hopes one day I get to wear something just like it! And that I find a guy just like you!”
And then she’d cried and hugged me, and I’d felt slimier than a can of worms as I hugged her back and pretended not to be jealous.
“You’re such a sadistic A-hole. I can’t believe I’m still attracted to you.”
His mouth curves in a sly smile, letting me know he’s zeroed in on the fact that I’ve just admitted to being attracted to him. Not ‘I can’t believe I liked you’. Not ‘I can’t believe I found you sexy’. No, I am attracted to him. I’ll probably want the guy till I’m dead and buried, and now he knows it.
“Hannah, darlin’, come on over here,” he drawls, allowing his thick Southern drawl free rein.
“No. I’m still spitting mad at you, Gregory Lucas. How could you do that to me?” I breathe past the lump in my throat. “That was worse than the time I told my sister her ass didn’t look fat in tights. Everyone’s ass looks fat in tights. I lied then, and I lied now. To that sweet woman.”
He pulls me into his arms, ignoring my feeble struggles till I stop and burrow closer, finding comfort in the heat and scent that I know as well as my own.
“Hannah, darlin’, Selena knows exactly what she’s getting into. Trust me,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. “Now stop fighting with me, and let’s talk about Josey.”
He leads me into the kitchen, where a pizza box and bottle of cola stand waiting. When I have a slice and a glass, we move to the breakfast bar and sit, turning to face each other.
“Gregory.”
“Greg,” he insists for the millionth time, glaring at me.
“Greg, I can’t afford her, and we both know it. I’ve called the agency, and they’ll send someone less…costly…over tomorrow for me to interview.”
I’d have to work two jobs and sell an organ to keep up with rent and groceries and the qualified Josey Barnes.
“I hired her when you looked so impressed,” he says, and I feel myself going icy.
“Look—”
“Don’t argue. We both know Chrissie can’t mind her all the time, and I don’t want to have to drive you home every night. Once in a while I’d like for us to fall asleep together.”
Me too, but that’s not in the cards. Besides, I’m vain, and I don’t think I’m ready for Gregory to see my morning face just yet.
“Gregory.”
“Greg! Goddammit, stop trying to put so much distance between us. We’re together, deal with it and move on already. And the goddamned helper stays!”