Rockstar 04 Interlude(19)

She grins shyly. "Yeah, well. I thought for sure we were going to get  bitched out for touching the guitars and Sera on the drums."

"There was no way, after what we'd heard. No way. And then seeing it was you, well, who can yell at you?"

"Oh you'd be surprised," she says with a laugh.

"Bastards, every one of them," I joke-sort of. "Seriously though, I knew  you were going to be there but I thought it was part of the crew  fucking around." I shake my head. "To turn the corner and see you and  Sera caught up in the music like we do … "

She just nods.

"Little Lucy who couldn't even speak was standing there singing her heart out six years later."

She looks at me confused and I meet her gaze.

"You're going to make it. It's going to happen fast, too. You need to prepare for that."

She nods. "I'm not sure how, but we'll try. I mean I know the fans and  stuff are going to be much different than they are at movie premieres  and things like that. I've been to concerts but I've never been  backstage or a VIP or anything so I'm not sure how that all goes."

"It's completely different from what you're used to, Luce. There are so  many fans, and they all want a piece of you. They'll reach up on stage  to try to touch you and there are days you just don't want to be  touched. You just want them to enjoy the music-not you-you know?"

She nods. "Well, from what I've heard you have no issues with the fangirl groupie whores."

I raise a brow. Rumors. Great. "From what you've heard?"

"Oh yeah. It's common knowledge that you're a manwhore. Jesse Kingston,  the man with a new girl every couple hours." She nods. "Yep, it's not  news."

I grin, amused. "Really. That's what's being said?"

She nods and twists her fingers in her lap, clearly uncomfortable.

I pull into the parking lot of the hotel instead of in front. She and I need to talk. We need to clear the air.

"What Jesse?" she snips.

I raise a brow. "Well that put a damper on your mood, didn't it?"

She shrugs.

"Look Lucy, I can't change my past, what I've done or who I am. Yeah,  what they said was true for the first few years we were out on the road,  but that gets old after a while."

"So it's just one girl a show then," she says with a bit of bite to her tone.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. "You're going to find out and it  may not be the same for you, but after a show, the adrenaline rush..." I  shake my head. "You feel on top of the world. I mean, you just got to  do what you love and rock it out in front of fifty-plus-thousand fans  and they fucking loved it. It's like no other feeling I've ever  experienced."

She just nods, frowning and looking out the windshield.

"You don't want to lose that feeling. Then there are the women throwing themselves at you-"

She holds up a hand and looks at me. "Stop. I don't want to hear this.  You owe me nothing, Jesse. I'm not sure why you're trying to explain  yourself or your actions to me. I'm nobody to you, not really. It  doesn't matter."

"That's not true-"

"It's true. Thank you for driving me home, Jesse."

It's fucking not true. She's everything to me. She just doesn't know it yet.

"What are you going to do for the rest of the night?"

"First, I'm going to take a nice long shower and rinse off the gross  dried leather boobage sweat." She curls her lip. "Then I'll probably put  a movie in and turn into a Tijanette for the night."

"A what?"

"A Tijanette."

"What the fuck is that?"         

     



 

She laughs. "Okay, something you might not know about me. I love to  read. I read every day in my spare time. If I'm not working, I generally  read all day and lounge by the pool or whatever. I just-read. It's my  escape."

"Okay, what does that have to do with Raisinettes?"

She laughs so hard she snorts and I grin. She's so fucking adorable.  "Not Raisinettes, Tijanettes. You see one of my favorite author's names  is Tijan and her fans or street team is called Tijanettes. I love her  stories and there are a couple I haven't read yet, so I'll download it  to my Kindle, grab a bottle of wine, and lounge on the oversized sofa  with a pillow and blanket because Sera probably set the air conditioning  too low and I'll freeze my ass off."

"What movie are you going to watch?"

She shrugs. "A chick flick probably."

I cringe. "Well then. Maybe when we've wrapped up everything with the video tomorrow, you'll let me take you out to dinner."

She doesn't answer but I see her thinking. She gets this little line  between her eyebrows when she's concentrating hard on something. I start  the car and pull around to the front of the hotel. She looks at me,  really looks at me, and the look has my heartbeat racing. It's more than  lust. It's more than amusement. It's exactly what I'm feeling. I let  her see it, everything going on inside right now.

"All right, Jesse. Dinner it is."

I nod, relieved and really fucking happy I'm getting at least a chance  with her. I know who she is. She's the good girl that all the guys like  me want …  only I don't want her just to fuck her. I want to keep her for  as long as she'll let me.

"We'll work the details out tomorrow. We've already exchanged digits so you can call me anytime."

"And you can call me. Convenient how that worked out for you."

I chuckle. "I admit it. I wanted your number."

She smirks. "And now you have it. Do you know how many squealing fangirls would kill for this phone number?"

"Don't even think about it."

She laughs. "I wouldn't."

"Look, Lucy. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up shit that upsets you. It's just, I don't know. I feel like I need to explain."

"You don't. As I said, you owe me nothing."

"Maybe not but it feels like I do. Anyway, you're going to have guys in  your band and I don't know how Sera is or if you'll get another girl,  but I know for sure the guys are going to get wild for a while. Hell,  you might."

She nods. "I doubt I will but I'm anticipating others will. There will  be no skanks on the bus. If they want to fuck skanks either they fuck  them backstage or in a motel or hotel when we're stopped long enough,  but I am not going to listen to groupie giggling all fucking night."

"Wow. That was a lot of fucks and skanks. Hot button, Luce?"

"Fucking yes it is. These women are pathetic. Okay, not all of them, but  a lot. See, I'll be as straight up with you as you were with me, Jesse.  I would have gone backstage with you or wherever to fuck you, I admit  that."

I can't hide my surprise at her admission. I never imagined she'd go that route.

"But, here's the difference between me and a lot of the others. While I  would be with you, that's it for me. I wouldn't go to the next band and  fuck that singer or guitarist or drummer. I wouldn't fuck anyone else  from your band. You get what I'm saying? I love the entire band of  Falling Down, the guys are seriously hot, but while I'm their fan, I'm  mostly yours. You were inspiring to me when I was growing up and I  crushed on you big time back then. So, while a lot of others aren't  discriminate, they just want a band member, it doesn't matter who,  because whoever they get is famous and that means they can brag to their  friends or whatever they're using them for, that's not me. Now I'm not  talking about the women who might be young or for whatever reason are in  a rebellious stage-I'm talking about the ones who make that their life.  That's pathetic. Where's their self-respect? They use you all and while  you think it's okay because you get to get laid regularly and use them  in return, I just can't think it's okay. Everyone has a right to their  own opinion."

"I get it." Everything she's said is true and while she has her opinion,  the situation worked for me all these years. I didn't want more. I  didn't want a steady chick to have to deal with or take along. I didn't  want to have to deal with jealousy or neediness. When I'm on the road,  it's grueling and can be brutal. There are days I just want to sit alone  with my ipod and ignore the world.

She nods. "Good. Now it's time for me to go wash this gross dried boob  sweat off. I hate leather. Just putting that out there in case you  missed it the first fifty times I mentioned it."         

     



 

"Glad you reminded me. I think I forgot." I smirk, then lean over and  press my lips softly to hers. Her eyes slowly close, and as much as I'd  love to make the kiss more than this, I don't. I pull back.

She opens her eyes and I can't stop looking at this beautiful woman who  took a piece of me all those years ago in the airport and never gave it  back. I don't want it back. I want her to keep it, to want more, and to  give me more of herself too.

"I know you're a good girl, Lucy. You're beautiful and classy. I think  maybe you thought I had you labeled under the groupie category. But,  Luce, you don't fit into that category. I know that. Hell, you don't fit  into any category but your own. Okay?"