Images of what might be happening at home tortured his mind the whole way to school. Deep in thought, he jumped when someone lightly punched his arm. "What the hell?" He whirled around, laughing when he saw his buddy.
Andre laughed. "I can't believe you didn't hear me call out to you. What were you thinking about?"
A storm passed through his dark eyes and he looked down at the pavement. "Nothing really. Are you going with your pa this weekend to the swamp?"
"Yeah. You wanna come? My pa said it's okay."
Remembering the beating his dad was going to give him after school-his dad never forgot a promised punishment-he didn't know what kind of shape he'd be in. "Not sure. I'll let you know tomorrow."
"Okay. I hope you can. It's gonna be so much fun."
Roche nodded and looked away, and that's when he saw Clotille waving at a black limo that had just pulled away from the curb. She wore a pale blue sweater that molded over her soft breasts and made him feel funny inside. As a matter of fact, for the past year he'd been thinking too much about her breasts, wondering if they were soft and spongy or just soft, like one of the down pillows his mother made. Sometimes it took all his strength not to touch them or accidentally brush against them. And the softness of her hips drove him crazy in ways he wasn't used to before last year. He often used the image of her in her shorts and bikini top when he was doing something in the bathroom he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing, but he couldn't help it-it felt so good.
He waved at her and she waved back. Their classes were in different buildings since she was in the eighth grade and he was in ninth. After school they'd meet up, maybe get a soda if he could borrow some money from Andre. He couldn't wait for it to be three o'clock.
* * *
They met on the sidewalk near the tall chain-linked fence. She had two of her friends and he had three of his, but all he could see was how pretty she was. They decided to grab a pop at Soda Jerk's, agreeing to take the shortcut through the cemetery. Andre had come through for Roche and loaned him the money so he could buy Clotille her soda. He'd have to work extra hours the following week at the hardware store, mopping the floors and taking out the trash, to earn enough so he could pay Andre back, but Clotille was worth it.
As they cut through the cemetery, they crossed paths with Armand and two of his friends. Being sixteen, on the football team, and rich, Armand and his buddies held themselves above the poor kids who they felt disgraced the walls of their high school.
"Why're you hanging out with freshman white trash?" Armand asked his sister as he stared at Roche and his friends.
"Stop it, Armand. Leave us alone." Clotille turned to Roche and smiled. "Come on," she said softly.
Armand's friends blocked their way, then shoved Roche and his friends backward. The jocks laughed when Roche fell on his butt. Red stained his cheeks as he jumped up, brushing off the dust from his pants.
A surge of fire rushed up Roche's spine when he saw the way Peter, one of Armand's friends, ran his gaze up Clotille's body, stopping at her breasts. Peter smiled. "You need to stick with your own kind, Clotille. Hanging out with losers never does anyone any good." He reached out and grabbed her arm. She pulled back, unsuccessful in breaking free of his grip.
"Take your fucking hand off her!" Roche clenched his fists, the red stains of embarrassment replaced by streaks of anger.
Peter threw her backward, his nostrils flaring. "What did you say to me, you fucking scum?"
"You heard me." Roche breathed heavily.
Clotille brushed her fingers against his arm. "Let's go." She narrowed her eyes at Armand. "If you don't stop right now, I'm going to tell Dad."
Before he could answer, the cemetery groundskeeper rushed toward them shouting, his arms flailing, and they all scattered. Roche grabbed her hand and pulled her along as they ran, leading them behind a large cypress tree with Spanish moss that hid one of the large mausoleums. They both gulped for air as her brother and his friends looked for them. Grasping her shoulders, Roche pulled Clotille flush against him as he leaned against the large tree, obscured from sight. Clotille's back pressed against him, his jeans tightened as he held her closer to him, his arms snuggly around her waist.
"I think the dirtbag went this way," Armand shouted, pointing to the cemetery's exit. His friends grunted and followed him, taking them farther away from him and Clotille. As the boys' voices dissipated, Roche rubbed against her slightly to get some relief from the ache in his pants. It felt so good. As he moved against her lower back, she stiffened before turning around and tilting her head back, her green gaze locking with his dark one. A funny look crossed her face and her cheeks were a deep red. He dipped his head down and kissed her. A jolt of desire shot through him and he brought her closer to him, his lips moving against her soft ones. Then she sighed and when her mouth opened slightly, he slipped his tongue inside. She tasted of cherry bubble gum and he pushed in deeper, losing himself in her warmth and softness. Then she jerked away.
"Why did you do that?" Clotille unwrapped his arms from her.
"You're so pretty. You didn't like it?" Roche's body was humming. He didn't want to stop kissing her.
Looking at the ground, she wiggled from one foot to the other, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "It felt funny. I don't want you to do it anymore."
"It's natural to do it. Don't you like me?" He laced his fingers with hers.
She pulled away. "I do. I have to go." She whirled around.
"Let me walk you home." He pushed away from the tree trunk.
Panic laced her eyes. "No," she said too harshly. "I can go by myself." She ran from him but then stopped, waved, and yelled, "Bye!" Then she dashed between the graves. He watched her until she was nothing but a mere speck in the distance; then he sighed and walked in the opposite direction to his home.
In bed that night, his body racked with pain from the beating, he stared at the darkness, remembering how soft Clotille's lips were on his and how warm and wet her mouth was.
For several days after their kiss, she avoided him and when they finally got together, she made sure her other friends were with her. He noticed that she didn't want to be alone with him anymore, and a part of him wished the kiss never would've happened so they could go back to hanging out, just the two of them.
Something had changed between them after they'd shared their first kiss, and he felt like she was slipping away from him. When she entered high school the following year, she began hanging around girls who were considered the popular group in the school. All of a sudden she didn't have time for him. Their long walks along the Vermillion River ended, as well as their afterschool sodas at the local hangout. Soon she stopped saying hello to him in the school hallways, only offering a slight smile or nod.
He didn't understand why she'd pulled away from him; he only knew he missed her and thought about her too much. Fearing rejection, he kept his distance, and his heart broke the first time he saw her holding hands with Luc, a football player who was in his class. Roche had lost her, and he mourned the end of what they had shared for the past four years. If it bothered her, she certainly didn't show it, which made the cracks in his heart even deeper.
And so Roche went his own way, as Clotille did hers. Roche's family situation worsened, the only respite being when his father went to the bayou for several weeks to make some money from fishing and trapping. His mother still worked for Clotille's family, and his brother Henri had begun to take on the role of his father while he was gone. Henri tried to boss him around, but Roche wouldn't let him do it even if Henri was two years older and stronger. He mostly ignored Henri, but whenever he'd bully their sisters, Isa and Lille, or their mother, Roche would stand up for them and even fight his brother over his disrespect. His mother would pull them apart and tell Roche that his temper was going to get him in trouble one day.
She always acted like Henri's rudeness didn't bother her, but Roche would hear her crying softly at the kitchen table when she thought they were all asleep. It was during those times that he swore he'd give her a better life and take her away from all the disrespect and beatings his father inflicted on her. She was such a kind, selfless woman, and she deserved a better life than the one she had. Roche vowed to give it to her.