“I know things are different there now, and I am not longer in the service so I am not going to be in action. But I’ve got real hang-ups about that day. I was never afraid to die when I was in combat. I was a real John Wayne. I did some crazy shit over there. Stuff that wasn’t by the book. Risky stuff. But when I was kneeled before that camera and they were about to separate my head from my shoulders, well, that was a totally different feeling. Remember the helplessness feeling I was trying to explain today on the helicopter?”
Annie nodded.
“That’s exactly what I was talking about. I was bound. I was surrounded. And they were going to cut my head off. I was helpless to do anything about it. I have never experienced such horror before. I didn’t like it very much. I could not unclench my fists until I was out of the country and landed in Germany. Whenever I think about Afghanistan, my fists clench up again. It’s reactionary. I can’t help it.”
Annie put down her fork and picked up her napkin. She wiped her eyes with it. “PTSD?” she asked him.
“That’s what they say,” Kip answered.
Annie put her napkin back on her lovely thigh. Kip watched her and almost forgot the story he was telling.
“Kip, I understand your hesitancy to tell this story, but don’t you think it would be for the best? To get it out there, maybe help in the healing?” Annie asked.
“Of course I do. But there is more,” Kip said. He made the effort to unclench his fists. Damn this is hard.
“My father… Well, he died while I was being held captive,” Kip continued. “We had a falling out when I joined the Marine Corps. He wanted me to join the family business. When I told him I was going to enlist after nine eleven, he stopped speaking to me. We didn’t speak for several years after that. Then, just before my last mission when I was taken captive, He called me and apologized. Told me how proud he was of me, and made sure I knew that I had a place in the family business when I returned.”
“Wonderful!” Annie said, smiling.
“Yes, it is,” Kip said. But he didn’t tell me he was sick. He had cancer. When I landed in Germany and was being strapped into a gurney for the ride to the hospital, my commanding officer told me he was dead and that there was an attorney flying directly to see me.”
“He left me everything. The entire empire. But I didn’t know what to do with it. So when I recovered and returned to the states, discharged, I left it all in the hands of the board of directors and started up a rock band. I get paid a lot of money for doing nothing. I mean a lot of money outside of the studio and tours. I mean money from the company. I give everything away. Every bit to charity. And still I live like a king. The empire is so huge I can hardly go anywhere without running into some holding somewhere. I pay for very little. I suppose I take advantage of it, though I am embarrassed that I do. I never intended to live like this. So, to put all of that in a book for everyone to read troubles me.”
Annie blinked at him. “But Kip, this is your life. You asked me to write a biography about you. How can I not include any of that? Your story is amazing. And like I said, it may be a healing process for you.”
“Then why does everything to do with my captivity, my father and my fortune make me feel like shit?” Nothing feels good about any of that,” Kip said.
Annie shrugged. “Kip, if I don’t write about that much of your life, what’s left to write about?”
Kip forced a smile. “My rock and roll days. The band. The hotel we trashed last year. The bus we rolled three years ago. Sex, drugs, rock and roll.”
“But that’s all been done before, Kip.”
“I am not in a contest here, Annie. I am not trying to outdo all of the other rock stars out there. Look, you approached me. I thought it would be interesting to have you write about the band. Tell our crazy stories. And… and you sounded cute on the phone.”
Annie blushed.
“And I was right. I have excellent ears,” he winked at her. And you have a magnificent body!
Annie put her elbows on the table and clasped her hands over her plate. She rested her chin on her fingers.
“So, Kip. Are you telling me that this is the boundary of the book? Only the rock and roll story? No war? No father? No wealth?”
Kip stared at her for a moment before putting another cut of beef into his mouth. Then he spoke while chewing. “Well, Annie, there might be more than just the rock and roll story.”
“Like what?”
“Well, I am a great fuck.” And so are you!
Annie smiled. “So, you want me to write about how good you are in bed?”