Rock Chick 07 Regret(114)

His hand went to my neck and slid into my hair, his thumb against my hairline.

“Looks like the Powwow is a bust. You wanna go back or you want a coffee?”

“Coffee,” I answered. “I should get one for Ralphie too.”

“I’ll get ‘em,” he told me then his face dipped and his mouth brushed mine.

Then he was off to the coffee counter, leaving me affected deeply (yes, even by his brush on my lips!) and teetering without his body to support me.

“Sit down before you fall down, child.” Shirleen called.

I decided to do as she suggested before I caused an even bigger stir and took a seat in a big, comfortable armchair amongst the crew.

“I cannot believe you have a small dog wearing a cute sweater accessory!” Ally exclaimed. “Chickie, you got it goin’ on.”

“YoYo’s not mine. Buddy, Ralphie and I are watching her for a friend,” I told Ally.

“It’s still a cute sweater,” Roxie said, rubbing YoYo’s body all over and YoYo was loving it, wiggling in Roxie’s lap, showing her belly.

“The sweater’s not YoYo’s, exactly, it’s Ralphie’s,” I explained.

All eyes came to me.

“Don’t ask, it’s a long story,” I went on.

All lips formed grins.

“Everything all right?” Jules asked, her eyes on me, her arms holding her new son Max.

I surprised myself by saying, “No.”

Now why did I say that?

I didn’t share.

Ever!

“No?” Ally asked quietly.

“I got bad news yesterday,” I shared again.

Yes, shared.

Yes, again!

What was happening to me?

“Your Mom,” Indy said softly and I looked at her. “Lee told me.”

“Eddie told me,” Jet put in.

“Hank told me too,” Roxie added.

“You should know, they told the rest of us,” Ava finished.

I feared I was about to hyperventilate.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Jules said immediately, watching me closely for a second, then her eyes sliced to Ally but it was Stella that spoke with her super cool, throaty, sexy voice (no kidding, Stella’s voice was aces).

“She doesn’t, Ally, so lay off.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Ally defended herself.

“We should let Sadie control what she wants to share,” Jules replied and I decided I liked Jules, loads.

“It just felt like I lost her all over again.”

That was me too!

It just came out.

I could no longer control my own mouth, I was blurting out private thoughts willy-nilly!

“That’s understandable,” Ava told me.

“She was trying to protect me,” I went on, still unable to stop myself and they all had their eyes on me.

Normally, I wouldn’t like that.

Normally, it would make me uncomfortable.

Normally, I would call my Ice Princess.

But their faces were open and their eyes were kind. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, it felt like they were open because they wanted me to give it to them so they could take it away from me. Even though it was bad stuff, really bad stuff. But that way, I wouldn’t have to hold it inside anymore.

Now, how bizarre was that?

I put my hands in my hair, pulling it away from my head and looked at Mace’s boots.

Then my hands dropped and I whispered, “I can’t stop thinking about it. Thinking that she died scared. I hate it that I’ll never see her again, because I always thought…” I stopped then took a deep breath and started again, “But I hate it more that she probably died scared.”

Then all of a sudden, that big, hard, burning thing came back into my chest and it started choking me. I even made a choking sound out loud.

“Oh blast! I’m going to fucking cry again,” I announced then my hands went over my face and I burst into tears.

Within moments, I felt fingers curl around my wrists and strong hands pull me out of my chair. Then I was up against a rock hard body that, for a second, I thought was Hector’s. But it was bigger than Hector’s body, taller and the arms that wrapped around me were different.

I looked up and was shocked to see Mace through wet eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

His hand went to the top of my head and slid down my hair to my neck. He put pressure there until my cheek was against his chest.

“Don’t be.” His deep voice sounded over my head and rumbled in my ear.

My arms slid around his waist and I held onto him and he held onto me and I cried silently against the chest of a man I didn’t know at all, except his name. And I did it in a bookstore, full of people, some I knew, most I didn’t.

And I didn’t care, not even a little bit because, as I cried, I felt that hard, hot ball in my chest start to shrink and fade until, after awhile, it was nearly gone.