Her words settle over my heart like a warm song. Annie is crushing the granite that my heart turned into and, slowly, ever so slowly I'm starting to accept the fact that maybe she's right. That perhaps I did the right thing-it just so happens that life took a shitty turn. That helmet of his jumps through my mind like a bouncing ball.
"He didn't wear his helmet half the time, and I was usually the one who insisted. I didn't bother insisting that day he left."
"Blake." She closes her eyes, and a thin seam of tears glistens in the sun. "You didn't do this to him-don't do this to yourself. Benji would never want you blaming yourself for the rest of your life. You don't ever have to forget him, and the best way to honor him is by remembering the good times that you shared together. Find joy in baby Ben's smile. Make Ben your biggest priority. That, right there, would make your brother proud and happy, and I'm sure his heart would be filled with forgiveness as well."
A violent wind knocks us off balance before it stills to a whisper.
"That was him." I give a wry smile. "Whenever we'd make up, he'd end it with a nice firm shove." My chest rumbles with a laugh. "I know this sounds crazy, but I think my brother just agreed with you."
"It doesn't sound crazy at all. Because I know when I'm right."
Annie slips her hands into the back of my jeans, bypassing my boxers all together.
"Whoa," I pull back. "You're about to start a war, little girl."
"I'm not anybody's little girl." She grazes her teeth over her blood red lips as if proving a point.
I'm still feeling pretty lucky for bumping into her that day. If Benji hadn't passed, I wouldn't have been dropping my classes, and that's one fucked up way of thinking, so I shelve it.
"I'm up for finishing what I started." Her belly rubs over the blooming hard-on in my jeans. Her fingers quickly undo my button, before I know it my fly is down, and she has my cock in her hand.
"You're exposing me to the elements. It's pretty chilly out here." I dig my fingers through the back of her hair. I do a quick sweep of the vicinity, and there's not a soul around.
"Maybe I'd better keep it warm." Annie drops to her knees and wraps her lips over me before I can protest the idea, not sure I would. A hard groan comes from me as I dig my fingers through her hair. Her tongue laps around me as her hand cups my balls, and it doesn't take long for me to feel like I'm going lose it faster than ever. Before Annie, I went through girls as fast as I could get through a box of condoms, and now I can't see any other girl-all I see is Annie.
Annie is changing things for the better. And I'm grateful that she's changed me.
* * *
The Black Bear. I shake my head at the crowd as the band and I wrap up the set. It was Annie's first night hearing me sing at the bar, and she hasn't stopped thrashing her hands in the air and dancing. She's right below me, swaying and reaching her arms up to touch me as if she were just another piece of rock candy-but she's not. She's my rock candy, and I never was good at sharing. The song is about to end, so I pull Annie up on stage and wrap my arm around her waist as I sing the last few lyrics straight into her eyes.
"I found my first and last love, and she looks a lot like you-" I stretch out that last note a little longer than usual because I feel it. Annie is my first and last love. My lips find hers, and we share a kiss right here on center stage. I don't hear any objections from the crowd, just a hell of a lot of people cheering us on.
Annie pulls back with her lips still pink from meeting up with mine. "You were amazing."
"Was that too loud?" I ask.
Annie has been in a few situations that made her head pound, and I know for certain it's loud as shit in here.
"With your voice? Not loud enough."
We bounce off stage, and she leads me to where her brothers sit with their better halves. Wyatt is seated right behind them, lifting his beer in my honor.
"You killed it." He stands and slaps me five. "Thanks for the invite. You know I love to hear you do your thing."
"You heading out?"
Wyatt looks over his shoulder. He's wearing his suit-the dude doesn't leave home without a tie and cufflinks. As much as the band brings the girls front and center, his power suit has them magnetizing that much more.
"Maybe." He does a quick sweep of the doorway. "There's a familiar blonde back there who just threw out an invitation."
"You don't know her name?" Annie glances to the door at the blonde in question, and her eyes round out. "Never mind, I know her name. That's my roommate, Marley."
"Marley." He tests it out on his lips without taking his eyes off his new midnight snack. "Sounds good to me." He taps me in the gut. "See you two at the ranch."
We watch as he heads toward the door. Marley has already been swallowed up by the crowd.
"Do you think something will come of that?" Annie cocks her head in disbelief.
"I don't know. My brother has a particular taste. He's more of a chains and leashes kind of guy versus-"
"Versus songs and careful kisses?" She takes a soft bite out of my ear.
"Yeah, that." I groan in approval.
"I think Marley can take him. She's always ‘taking one for the team' when it comes to … intimate research. All for the sake of her article, of course." Annie gives a playful wink. "She's got a pair of velvet cuffs she's been using as paperweights. Maybe she'll finally get a chance to dust them off."
"Velvet, huh?" I shake my head at my brother as he threads into the crowd. He always was a lucky son of a bitch. But then again so am I. My lips find Annie's as she draws a hearty groan from me.
Bryson and Holt head over, and my groan takes on a whole new meaning.
"What's up?" Bryson slaps me on the shoulder.
"Just hanging out with my girl." Nice. Make yourself sound like a caveman, and see how far that gets you with the brother brigade.
"I'm glad." Holt folds his arms over his chest and widens his stance like he's not. "Just know we're still keeping our eyes on you."
I raise my hands like a criminal. "Feel free, but know you'll be seeing a lot of this." I brazenly peck a kiss off Annie's cheek, and she laughs. There it is, that beautiful melodic laugh I can write a song about all on its own.
Bryson nods. "Never mind that. We want to see more of your ugly mug here, at the Black Bear. How about we start booking the band once a week? Friday or Saturday night-your pick."
I look over at the guys on stage still packing away the equipment. "Done." I know they want this as much as I do. "This is perfect for us. Thank you." The 12 Deadly Sins live to sing another day. I'm loving it.
Bryson gives my arm a light sock. "You're a good guy."
"He is a good guy." Baya pops up from behind and gives me a quick hug. "I'm glad you and Annie found each other."
Izzy comes over and wraps herself around Holt. "So? Are we all one big happy family now?"
"We are." I pull Annie in and press a kiss on top of her head. "The best family."
A slow song seeps out of the speakers like an aphrodisiac, and half the bar hits the dance floor. I pull Annie out with me and bury us deep in the crowd. My arms find a home around her waist as our hips move in time.
This is it, every school boy fantasy, every adult dream of what I thought I wanted in a woman is right here in my arms.
I lean in and whisper right into her ear, "I love you."
Annie looks up with pressing joy in her eyes. "I love you, too." She bites her lips as if she were about to say something then changed her mind.
"What is it?" I give her a little nudge.
"Nothing." She knits her brows, unable to withhold her laughter.
"It's something-give or I'll tickle you in front of all of these people," I tease. And knowing how much she can't stand that, I wouldn't dare.
"Okay." She looks up at me through a forest of lashes, and my boxers twitch to life. I can hardly wait to get her home, in my bed-in our bed. God knows it feels empty without her.
Annie's hair falls over one eye giving her that vixen appeal that drew me to her that day at Whitney Briggs. She was calling me even then, and she didn't know it.
"Don't laugh"-she holds up a finger-"but, for some reason, I thought when you whispered into my ear you were going to say something dirty." Her face reddens a neon shade of pink.