Rock Candy Kisses(30)

"Goodnight, you two!" She winks at me before taking off. But there's a  thin strain of envy on her face, and, this time, it breaks my heart. I'd  give anything for Marley to find her perfect someone. Of course, he'd  better know his way around a pair of velvet handcuffs or two.

We head over and sit with Blake's father. Gone is the fedora as he shows  off a full head of gray hair. I scour his face for signs of Blake and  find them in his strong jawline, his full brows that are pulled over his  eyes like a bridge. He looks hardened by life, weathered and beaten  down by society in general. It makes me sad to see someone so close to  Blake having a tough time.

Blake and his father engage in small talk, mostly about the food, the  fact snow is predicted in the night. His father finishes his meal and  pushes the tray back before staring over at me, scrutinizing me, a  little angry for no reason. There's something off about him but in a  harmless way that makes me question his sanity. Most of the people here  are down on their luck, but a handful have other issues that revolve  around mental health.

"So what are you doing with this fool?" He moves his teeth from side to  side, and a hot pinch ignites in my stomach because I'm starting to  categorize him as clinically insane. For one, Blake isn't a fool. And,  two, watching Boyd Daniels' teeth shift from side to side like that made  my stomach turn slightly.

I love him. I sign. There. Let's try some heartfelt feelings on for size.

I love you, too. Blake signs back, and I morph into a giant grinning puddle.

"Hooey for the both of you." His father grumbles. I squint a little to  discern his words. His scratchy looking beard has prodded toward his  lips making it difficult to understand. "I guess if you're going to  bring a kid in this world, you might as well be in love." He gets up and  pats my hand. "I'll see you soon." He points to Blake. "She's a  keeper."

"That she is." His eyes fall to the table a minute as his discomfort becomes palpable.

Boyd settles his hat over his head, and we watch as he leaves the facility.

Should we offer him a ride?

Blake shakes his head. "He wouldn't take it. Besides, I'm sure he's fine."

I thought he said something about bringing a child into this world. He  doesn't think I'm having a baby, does he? I must look huge in these  jeans!

Blake closes his eyes and turns his head away a moment.

He pulls out his phone. You look perfect in those jeans. I'm sure he  meant in the future. In fact a baby with you in the future is something I  would very much look forward to. An incredible sorrow pulls down his  features.

Wow, you really plan ahead! I tease. The truth is just the thought of  having a future with Blake-a baby with Blake-sets my body on fire with  excitement. The idea of having a family with this beautiful man makes me  feel complete. The future sounds like an amazing place.

"It will be." Blake covers my mouth with his, and we share a wild,  lashing kiss as if we were starved for what we craved most-each other.  He pulls back and jots something into his phone. There's something I  always want you to remember. Blake takes my hand and places it on his  heart while looking into my eyes with earnest intent. "I love you,  Annie." He closes his eyes. "I really do love you."                       
       
           



       

I memorize the way his chest vibrates down through my arm when he says  those beautiful words. It feels like magic. It feels like forever.

"You want to head to my place for a while?"

Only if I can spend the night.

He smiles into his phone. Your wish is my command. His eyes gloss over  with that familiar lustful look as he glances down toward my hips. I  believe I owe you something. He cuts those amber prisms right into mine  before tapping into his phone again. And tonight's the night I'm  determined to give it to you.





Blake





Snow falls from the sky, soft like powdered sugar, as Annie and I make  our way to the carriage house. Somehow my father has managed to get  himself ingrained in my mind with that shaggy coat pulled over him, the  fedora he's been known to wear since I was a kid. Benji and I used to  take turns putting it on while doing our best impersonations of our  drunk of a father. You're fucking stupid! You won't amount to bear shit!  That was our favorite line of his, but why bear shit we'd wonder? Benji  reasoned it was because he thought we might be eaten by a bear one day.  But Benji wasn't eaten by a bear. He was eaten by concrete on the  corner of Summerland and Pelt. My mood plummets as we get closer to the  carriage house, and now I'm pissed at both my brother and father-but  mostly Pops for being there tonight. That's not the way I was hoping  he'd meet Annie. I'm not sure what I was hoping for, but it sure as hell  wasn't that. Thank God he didn't mention Olivia, but, then again, he  was so high when she was around, I doubt he remembers anything about  that tragedy in my life. He did mention the baby. I could hardly face  Annie after that. I'm the one who needs to tell her everything. Me. The  last person she needs to hear the ugly truth from is Pops and his rusty  signing skills. Talk about life throwing you a curveball made of barbed  wire. This one landed square in my nuts. It took me twenty minutes to  catch my breath after he said his peace.

I glance over to Annie as the streetlight bathes her in a river of gold.  I meant what I said. I want a future with Annie, and, one day, an  entire tribe of children if we can swing it. It probably doesn't help  that I'll be adding to our brood in just a few weeks-my brood. I shake  my head into the long stretch of highway just before turning in towards  Wyatt's ranch. Everything in me screams tell her tonight. My heart  breaks knowing that I'm about to shatter the illusion of who I am so  soon after promising her forever. I'm not sure she'll want anything to  do with me after this. Forever is a goal for people who come in clean  from the beginning. It's not that I meant to keep things from her, but  time kept slipping, and the moment just never felt right. The fact I've  waited so long says a hell of a lot and none of it good. I've let fear  grip me by the balls, and now I'm going to pay the price. Story of my  life. Truth is, I can trace all this heartache right back to Ben's  death, but I think that's the pussy's way out. It's time to own up and  start talking.

We pull in front of the carriage house, and I kill the engine just  staring at the tiny cottage like it was a waiting tomb. Annie leans in  with a smile and licks a line up the side of my face.

I like where she's headed, but, first, I believe I owe her something-the truth.

My teeth grind. My gut wrenches at the thought of knocking us right off  the pedestal I've put us on. I rub my thumb over her cheek and drink  down the affection in her eyes. Maybe it can wait until morning. My body  is aching to make love to Annie about as bad as she's letting me know  she wants it. God knows I owe her whatever it is she wishes.

I push Olivia and the baby as far out of my mind as I can and carry  Annie into the house as if it were our honeymoon. That's exactly how I'm  going to love her tonight-wild, unrestrained, unbridled as if this were  our first night tied in holy matrimony, like it was our last night  together. I think we might be caught somewhere in between.

Annie offers up a sweet moan straight into my mouth. My tongue goes off  in her mouth wild with lust and a fury I have aimed at myself because  these beautiful exchanges might be numbered. I've never wanted to hold  onto anyone in my life the way I want to hold onto Annie. She's made for  me, and, in every single way, I belong to her. This, right here, is  love. Annie in my life forever would complete me. It would fill the hole  in my heart that Ben left behind, and I might even be able to do the  unthinkable, live a big enough life for both my brother and me. I'm  going to love harder, live faster, embrace each day with a renewed vigor  because Ben isn't able to. I owe him that much and more.                       
       
           



       

Annie tugs at my jacket, and it drops to the floor. Her fingers rake off  my shirt before fiddling with my jeans. I lie her over the couch and  pull back enough to catch her beautiful features glowing in the  moonlight.

"I'll make a fire." I start to get up, and she pulls me back down.

"We will make our own fire," she whispers. Annie's eyes stay trained on  mine as she clasps onto my shoulders. "Blake." She says my name loud and  purposeful. A breath gets caught in my chest. Her voice is soft and  angelically sweet. Her tone is even and clear, and I'm shocked and  thrilled to hear it. "I love you."

"Annie." A crushing swell of relief pours from me. There it is. My gift.  I pull her into my arms, grinning from ear-to-ear. Tears come, and I  don't fight them. "I love you, too." I smother her face with kisses  before pulling back into a stream of moonlight. "Thank you. Your  voice-that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You're perfect.  I want to hear you all the time. Please-never hold back."