“Tell me what you were thinking or what Vivian brought up. That I want to be with other women? That I can’t control myself if we go out to my usual hangouts?” The hurt in his voice cut her to her core. “And you still wanted to make love with me? No wonder you looked conflicted.”
“No. I don’t think you want to be with other women. I trust the things you tell me. But Vivian made me wonder if I was just seeing what I wanted to see.” The confession felt like lead in her stomach. “But when we were with Brent I realized that my interpretation of you is totally different from anyone else’s because I know the real you. Everyone else knows the guy you were or the guy they’ve heard about. So it makes sense that Vivian’s view of you is skewed.”
“But if you believe that, then what was the hesitation I saw in your eyes?”
“It’s twofold. I was trying to push Vivian’s words from my head because I know they aren’t true. But also, it’s easy to be confident and sexy when you’re not paying attention.”
“When I was driving,” he said.
“Yes. Or texting,” she admitted.
His eyes warmed. “You do send sexy texts.”
“I’m better with you than I’ve ever been with anyone else. Sometimes it’s all I can do to keep eye contact with you and not cover my face. You say things that make me blush, but I love hearing it.”
“Baby, you don’t have to be embarrassed with me. I want to honor your feelings, even when that means waiting to be closer. I want you to believe in me, no matter what anyone says. And people will say things, act certain ways. I haven’t hidden that from you. That’s why I wanted to wait to go out in town. Christ, your own best friend doesn’t trust me.”
“I don’t care if she does or not,” she said firmly, and even though it felt like a betrayal to her best friend, she meant it. She’d made a mistake letting Vivian’s worries take over, even if Vivian was looking out for her.
“She’s your best friend. Of course you care,” he said. “Baby, you’ll see that in action at the Rough Riders barbecue, and I’ll handle it appropriately. Other women mean nothing to me. You mean everything to me, and I’m going to continue to do whatever I can to make sure you know I’ll never hurt you, including backing off when I see something in your eyes that worries me.”
The tenderness in his voice drew her closer, her throat thickening with emotions.
“But from now on,” he said, “we need a ‘go’ signal. Something that tells me it’s really okay, if it is.”
“How about if it’s not okay I say ‘no’ or ‘stop’? That’s something I can do.”
“Yes,” he said with a spark of heat in his eyes. “You’re really good at that.”
“I told you I’m not easy.”
“I’ll take real over easy any day. This is good, Faith. Getting all this out in the open is so much better than misinterpreting each other or worrying about things that aren’t going to happen.”
“Thank you for understanding. I can’t believe we didn’t have a bigger blowup about this. I’m sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have doubted you, but it’s been a long time since I felt safe enough to put myself out there.”
“Baby, you’re always safe with me.”
Chapter Seventeen
FAITH WAS SO relieved after they talked, but now, as they climbed out of the truck at Tap It, she was a nervous wreck. Sam said the last thing he wanted was for her to worry about what might happen someday, or to think he was avoiding being seen with her because he couldn’t handle whatever might come their way. He’d insisted on taking her out in town. At least she’d talked him out of going to Whispers. That would have been too much.
“We really don’t have to go here,” she said for the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes.
He folded her in his arms and smiled down at her.
“Hey, we’re just a guy and his girlfriend enjoying a dinner date. I shouldn’t have made a big deal about wanting to wait to go out in town. It was selfish. I wanted you to dig me so much that nothing anyone could do or say would change your mind.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, calm as an afternoon breeze.
“But I am that into you. I had to move past Vivian putting doubts in my head, but I did move past it. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“That’s good, baby. Then we should have a nice dinner together.”
They headed up the steps, and Faith wondered what she expected to happen when they went inside. It wasn’t like women were going to jump him in a restaurant. Maybe she was making too big of a deal out of his past, too. Maybe Sam was wrong and nobody would act weird once they saw them together.
Before pulling open the door Sam said, “There’s only you and me in there. Just us. No one else matters.”
They walked inside, the din of the crowded bar to their right mixing with the enchanting hum of the restaurant to their left. The tantalizing aroma of spices and grilled foods hung in the air.
The petite hostess smiled up at Sam. “Hey, Sam.” She followed his arm around Faith’s waist, offering Faith the same welcoming smile. “Hi. Two for dinner?”
“Yes, please. Natasha, this is my girlfriend, Faith.” Sam’s eyes honed in on Faith again. “Natasha went to school with Shannon.”
“I sure did,” Natasha said, giving Faith her attention rather than Sam. “Shannon’s a hoot. Follow me. Let’s find you a table.”
Faith was acutely aware of the eyes of at least five woman trailing Sam as they walked through the restaurant to a private table near the back. Her mind traveled to dark places she wished it wouldn’t, but some of the women were blatantly staring. It made her self-conscious, and worse, she wondered if Sam had been with any of them.
After helping Faith with her chair, Sam sat across the table and reached for her hand. She noticed a couple nearby stealing a glance, probably because they knew Sam in some other context than a sexual conquest, but she couldn’t help analyzing every glance.
“You look beautiful tonight.” His voice brought her eyes to him. “Hey. There’s only you and me here. Don’t let anything ruin it. Are you in the mood for a drink?”
“Or three?” she answered, hating herself for being so insecure. This was silly. She shouldn’t be this nervous. We’re just two people enjoying dinner.
Their waitress sidled up to the table. She was a dead ringer for Scarlett Johansson. She gave Faith a cursory once-over. Then her overly made-up eyes shot to Sam, where they remained. “Sam, how are you? I haven’t heard from you since the beach party.”
He glanced up with a distant expression Faith had never seen. “Hi. Doing well, thanks.” He turned a warm gaze back to Faith as he said, “Can we get a bottle of Arietta Cabernet Sauvignon please?”
The blonde narrowed her eyes. “Sure,” she said curtly, then stalked away.
“Did you…?” She held her breath, sure she didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Sleep with her? No.”
“Then why was she acting like that?”
A slow smile lifted his cheeks. “Because I didn’t sleep with her.”
She leaned forward and whispered, “But I thought you never told anyone no.”
Sam rose to his feet, and Faith worried she’d offended him so badly they were going to leave. He moved his chair beside her, sat down, and took her hand in his again. His eyes bored into her. “I have turned women down. Women have turned me down. Not often, but it has happened. What else would you like to know?”
Embarrassment flushed her chest and spread straight up her neck. She wondered if skin could catch flames. How could she have asked him that? And he’d answered. Honestly! What was wrong with her? But, okay, now that they’d come this far, why not go for it? How much worse could it get?
She drew in a deep breath, prayed he wouldn’t walk out, leaving her sitting there like the loser she must be for wanting to ask this, and said, “Can you just look around and tell me if you see anyone you have slept with so I can stop trying to figure it out?”
He turned and scanned the restaurant, then met her gaze as calmly as he had before. “You sure you want to know? Or is this a chick trick, where you want to know, but when you find out, you lose your shit?”
She laughed, but inside she was dying. That had to mean he’d recognized at least one woman he’d slept with. “Don’t tell me. Because it’s probably a case of the latter.”
He slid his hand to the nape of her neck and pressed his cheek to hers. How could one touch dissolve her tension so easily?
“There’s only one woman in here I want to sleep with, and she’s so busy trying to figure out who her competition is she doesn’t realize she has none.”
He brushed his lips over hers as the waitress brought the wine.
She set the bottle on the table, eyes locked on the back of Sam’s head, and with a hand on her hip she said, “Looks like your appetite is as insatiable as ever. Are you ready to order?”
Without moving away from his near-kiss position, Sam said, “We need a few minutes, please.”