“But, Sam, you gave too much.”
“I don’t think there is such a thing.” He speared a piece of salmon and popped it into his mouth.
She had no idea how to play this game. Was it a game?
He set down his fork, sipped his wine, then took her hand again and moved his chair closer to hers.
“Faith, what good is success if I can’t use it to help others? You did. You started the whole program. That had to take time, energy, and money.”
“It did, but I did it because of what I’d gone through.”
“Why can’t you accept that I want to help?” His reaction was so visceral it compelled her to listen more carefully. “You told me that those women were in the group because of guys like me. I don’t cheat, and I think I’ve made that pretty clear, but even so, I want to help them. I can’t stand thinking about what Brittany or Hilary, or you or Vivian, or the other girls went through.”
She wanted to deny his sincerity, but she realized she was fighting against herself, against what she was afraid of, instead of taking Sam for his word, and that wasn’t fair to either of them.
“I’m sure you know Lira’s life is a bit of a mess right now, too,” he said, taking her by surprise that he knew about Lira’s situation. “I think we can help each other out.”
“Oh?” Hearing the curiosity in her voice made her realize that earlier today she might have responded with a sarcastic, I bet.
“She has a lot of office management experience, and I need someone to handle the admin work and help organize sponsors and coordinate things for the Rough Riders barbecue.”
Her eyes widened with hope. “You think you might be able to give her a job?”
“We’re talking about a long-distance trial run. We’ll see how it goes. If she’s as good as her experience indicates, she’s been underpaid for so long, and I’m not sure she realizes how much she’s really worth. But don’t worry. If it works out, she’d be well taken care of at Rough Riders with full benefits.”
He’d already spoken to Lira about this? “You really do care.”
“Yes, I do. I was brought up to help others. I’ve done it all my life. I’m not sure why that’s so hard to believe.”
“Maybe because you didn’t go to the car wash intent on helping.” She arched a brow, and that earned her a sexy smile.
“You’re right, but that doesn’t take away from how strongly I feel about helping. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.”
It was hard to admit what she wanted to say next, but after all he’d done for her tonight, and for the group, she owed him the truth—even if it was embarrassing.
“I was judging you by what I knew about you, Sam. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Then get to know me better. Find out who I really am.” He looked at her expectantly. “Go out with me, Faith.”
“We went over this. You don’t date, and—”
“And you don’t sleep around. I get it. I’m not asking you to sleep around. I’m making a change. I want to date you. I’ve spent my life avoiding anything remotely close to emotional connections, but I can’t avoid it with you. You’ve gotten under my skin, and I don’t want to ignore what I’m feeling.”
“You want to date only me? Sam, I can’t—”
Suddenly she was in his arms, their bodies colliding, his mouth capturing hers, kissing away her worries. He took the kiss deeper, as if he needed her to feel, to taste, how much he wanted her. He was holding her like she was already his, making her feel desired and sexy and incredibly safe again, softening her resolve.
“Sam,” she whispered, touching her stinging lips. She probably should be annoyed that he’d cut her off with a kiss, but she wasn’t in the least. She’d needed that kiss.
He held her face in his hands. The look in his eyes was pure, unadulterated possession, and unexpectedly, hope.
“Don’t overthink this.” His eyes bored into her. “Don’t pick it apart and put me into a box where I don’t belong. This is right. I know you feel it, too. You won’t go out with me unless I’m faithful to you, and I want that for you, for me. I want that with you. I want you, Faith. I don’t want my mouth on anyone else, and I sure as hell don’t want yours on some other guy.”
“You’re such a big risk, Sam. And I know that’s a horrible thing to say.” The honesty came without thought, and she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. “If you cheat on me, it will completely humiliate me, and I have to live and work here. I can’t just pick up and run from it.”
She paced, remembering how much it had hurt to catch her ex-boyfriend out with another girl, and weighed the risks of getting involved with Sam against the thrum of desire raging through her.
“I won’t hurt you,” he promised.
“I believe your intentions are sincere, but you might make a mistake. And my job, my life, everything is so good right now.” She continued pacing, too conflicted to look at him.
As if he knew she was fighting eye contact, he closed the gap between them, framed her face with his hands again, and forced her to look into his all-consuming gaze.
“I will never make the very poor choice of hurting you. Trust me, Faith, and I promise I won’t let you down. Have faith in me,” he whispered, and God help her, she wanted to. “I will not only make sure your life remains on solid ground, but I’ll make it better.”
“You’re quite a salesman. Full of promises.” Her words were teasing, but inside she was on the verge of jumping out of her safe little world and into the arms of the biggest risk she’d ever taken, and she didn’t want to have to claw for purchase. “I need complete transparency, Sam.”
“Crystal clear.” His unwavering confidence made her want to believe every word he said.
“Do you even know what that means?”
“I’m serially a non-committer, not an idiot.” He took her hand and led her to the railing overlooking the ocean, sliding his arm around her waist. She fit perfectly against his hard body, as if that spot were made just for her.
“What do you see when you look out there?” he asked.
“The reflection of the moon in the ocean. It’s peaceful.”
“It appears peaceful. But the minute you step foot in a boat, you’re in the hands of Mother Nature. She can batter you in the blink of an eye. For me it’s a risk worth taking, because I know I can handle anything she throws at me.”
He turned his attention, and his piercing stare, back to Faith.
“When you look at me, you’re afraid to step in the boat. But you don’t have to be. I know you can’t handle squalls or heavy winds, and I’d never risk losing the way you look at me in those moments when you see past my reputation. I see flashes of clarity, and in the next breath your eyes cloud over and you put your life jacket on. You don’t need a life jacket, Faith. I’ll keep you afloat.”
Everything he said struck her heart. No one could fake the depth of emotion she heard in his voice.
“Doesn’t it scare you, Sam, to suddenly want to commit to a girl like me? To someone so scared of being hurt?”
“Wanting to commit scares the shit out of me, but wanting to commit to you? Faith, you’re the only girl I want to commit to. It took me thirty years to figure that out.” His lips lifted in a warm smile.
“Don’t you want to be with someone who parties every night? Someone who’s wild, maybe brings another girl into the mix? Because I’ll never do that. I don’t share well.”
He looked up toward the sky, cursing under his breath, but not angry. It was more like he was admonishing himself. When his eyes met hers again, they were dead serious.
“I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done in my past, Faith. Everything I did, every choice I made, every tryst, brought me to this moment. Those girls I hooked up with are not the kind of girls I’d want to call mine. Can’t you see what’s going on?”
See? She could barely breathe.
“I want to be with you. I want to feel what I feel right now, and more, and that’s only possible with you. You are the only woman who interests me, not anyone else. And if you think I’d ever share you with any other man or woman, you’re wrong. Most importantly, I don’t want you to worry that I’m with anyone else. Ever. I want you to know in your heart that I’ve given you my word. And my word is stronger than steel.”
His honesty shattered her vow to remain uninvolved. She drew in an uneven breath, wanting to be closer to him, wanting the confidence he portrayed to be real and true, and pushed aside her fears. Vivian would have her head on a platter, or worse, have his head on a platter, but Faith couldn’t live her life in fear of what might happen, and she couldn’t make decisions based on what others believed.
As she gazed into his eyes again she saw another layer of the man he was unveiling. Taking off his cover. And she liked that man very much.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” His eyes widened.
“Okay, yes, but—”
He picked her up and spun her around, kissing her fast and hard as she laughed.